Sexual Abuse Support Group
Sexual abuse is a relative cultural term used to describe sexual relations and behavior between two or more parties which are considered criminally and/or morally offensive. Different types of sexual abuse involve: Non-consensual, forced physical sexual behavior such as rape, incest or sexual assault, or psychological forms of abuse, such as verbal sexual behavior or...
My friend forced himself on me. Do I call this rape?
I went on a date with this friend to see if we had any chemistry because I had never thought of him this way and it had been a year since I'd seen him. He'd been helping me through a very abusive breakup. He knew thoroughly I was not going to have sex for a very long time. That I knew I had an unhealthy attachment style (my dad being psychopathic).
I wasn't feeling attracted to this friend while we went for a hike. He dropped me off at the end of the day. He started to kiss me forcefully. I continued to pull away, but this is a person I deeply trusted so I was trying to be kind. Any other date I would have said a hard no to, and I felt he knew intellectually that I would not have sex with him. I made this very clear. My impression was that maybe he has liked me for a very long time.
He took my clothes off, all of it so fast. Again, trusting him as the kind friend that I know. He then started to cum without touch. I think he was embarrassed by this because it was so quick and he shoved himself into me as he came. This entire moment from entering the door to him finishing was under ten minutes. I then missed a period so I thought I was pregnant. I'm not. The whole experience was very foggy and devastating. I thought I knew this person very well and I made myself very clear months leading up to this point. It felt like he wanted me to attach to him. Or maybe he just panicked. I don't know.
Is this assault, rape, abuse, misunderstanding?
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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"Rape, unlawful sexual activity, most often involving sexual intercourse, against the will of the victim through force..."
Someone forcing their penis into another person is never to be taken as a misunderstanding. Its rape no matter what.
He is not your "friend". He sexually assaulted you. You could call the police on him. I would call the police, if this happened to me.
Please please... stay away from this person. No matter what. No matter what he says to you or asks you or begs you.... never ever see this person again. He is not, I repeat NOT your friend. He is a sexual predator and possible rapist. He forced himself on you, he will do it to someone else too.
Block his number. Block him on social media. If you saw him again, it will be 1000 times worse than this incident. You don't need this kind of person in your life.
Do you go to therapy? I think therapy would really help deal with the issues you have with your father, and also from the break up. There is help out there. You are not alone. Hugs.
I've been told by a psychotherapist before that my depression likely comes from the inability to connect with reality. Which makes sense when reality has been rough. It is helpful to see other perspectives to clarify what is real and what is not. I get stuck here. I don't like to connect with the "evils" within people, it's overwhelming and easier to ignore it.
I did have an incredible psychotherapist and I know I have a tendency to dissociate in times of stress. It's an automatic response. A "blessing" as a child, but as an adult I need to connect to protect myself.
Thank you for helping me connect to what is real. Naming the problem is repeatedly my barrier to healthy relationships. I'll contact my psychotherapist again and I will have no problem removing this guy from my life. He is not someone I get sucked into. Very surprised that even good people, with a certain level of chaos can be so shitty.