I'm so sorry this is happening. It is not your fault at all.

Can you give us a little background..... how long married, kids, etc?

Cheaters lie, so don't believe him when he says he wouldn't have met up with any of them (yes, there is probably more than one woman).

And what does he mean he wouldn't have met up with that woman, when you said he knows her already???

It takes a lot to get past this, but it can be done. Maybe you could give us a little more background details on this whole situation so we can better help you.

An emotional affair is cheating because the spouse doing so is focused on sexual pleasure outside of their committed relationship. Their attention is on wooing or seducing another. Your choice is to believe him or wise up. You have been betrayed even if he lies and says it’s not betrayal. Of course you are hurt and feel back stabbed. He has to want to change and show this change not just give empty promises. You might consider with deep honesty whether he is self absorbed and all about himself. The victim spouse always seems to want to fix the marriage and even sweep everything under the rug. I guess this helps avoid so much pain. He has to change. Actions over the next year or two. You get to have strong feelings about being rejected, back stabbed, and lied to. Your feelings matter even if he blames you. That’s a red flag when the cheating spouse blames the victim spouse. I hope you can focus on your own healing and gaining strength rather than being focused on him changing. Best wishes.

Just feel lucky he never did meet up then it is almost impossible to get through a true physical cheat. On line is sometimes a game play and to jump from that to meeting is total game changer. I would say that if he really wants so you stay and stop his nonsense that he allows you all access to his messages and email. otherwise, I would seperate, yep seperate and see how much you are missed and if he is willing to reconnect with you...maybe he needs to sex text you and work on your relationship and put away thoughts of another person. Because when it goes 'real in person physical' it is a bad crappy road to try to come back from. I know from experience, and yes I am still with my spouse. Married 44 years in July. BUT...I am forever changed...he is also, but damn it if he didn't learn from his mistake and turn into a even better guy.