The question is not if it's considered cheating, but rather why would you accept this type of behavior? It appears that you've come to accept her quote "sexapeds", otherwise you would've made a decision to leave the relationship.

I hope the best for you.

I guess it's not technically "cheating" if you were completely informed about it beforehand and after but it is clearly infidelity if you have an exclusive/non-open relationship. My understanding of "cheating" is it's being done behind someone's back without their knowledge.

If it's an actual thing that happened - I'm really sorry to hear Bob. I hope you can work it out one way or another that is best for you.

IMO.....cheating would be doing it without the other partner knowing you have another lover or not being in agreement that it's ok to have outside sex partners.

As an interesting side note: Only intercourse between a man and woman is considered Adultry in PA (according to PA's divorce laws). Oral sex, anal sex, every other kind of sex or sex with the same sex is not considered adultry here. Very strange!

what else would you call it if you married? you didn't approve of this i bet so it is cheating. in an open marriage you are ok with it and sometiems even go for it. but in a one on one closed marriage its cheating all the way. cuz she smacked ya in the face with the details makes it cheating and abuse. hope you pulled her luggage out of storage to help her pack. sorry dude sounds awful...

i was thinking about this some more. if you take a math test and get the answers from the person sittting next to you and then you tell someone how you got the answers, its still cheating. whether you tell someone or not you did something that is not right by common standards. something broke in the process whether its the honor of marriage or the rules of the test.

oh my goodness.
did this really happen??

I actually thought about doing the same thing to her but then I realized that 2 wrongs don't make a right so a divorce is immenent. They talk constantly on the phone to each other! Worse then 2 teenage girls for sure! To give u a little more info, this guy was her first love 30 years ago but went into the service and he never married and did a computer search and found her. Now she is head over heals in love with him again and I cannot wait to get my freedom. I just want the dog, thats all.

I didn't want to cause any conflict because she just loss her younger brother by suicide and has had a hard time coping so I just simply told her I wanted her to be happy but I think in doing that I gave her too much leeway.

ahh well.......its good to have friends I can vent to

wow bob....i know you haven't been happy in the marriage, but that's stil a pretty tough slap in the face.
i hope you find you way to finding someone better.

fuck that man! that's as nasty as it gets. get your freedom.

Sorry to hear that Bob! ((hugs))

It's bad enough what she did but why did she feel the need to fill you in on the sexapade details???

When stbxh and I decided to split up, we decided to have an open marriage until we could get a divorce and while we're still living together. He knows about my partner, he knows I travel to see him, they've even talked on the phone but details of our sexapades (or stbxh's sexapades)..........not gonna happen!

That is a huge slap in the face!! Even If you were ok with it she TELLS u about it!!!! Kind of like an "in your face" thing? And then talks to him the way she does and in front of you? Wow Everything you wrote - Wow. So cold and so wrong :(

well hell yes its cheating, Im betting your marriage vows had nothing about sleeping with an old BF in them.
Bob, man, I'm sorry you are going through this, IMO, nothing more
devastating, other than the loss of a loved ones life.

You are right Bob it is adultery. It's mean of her to flaunt it all in front of you and her guy friend is being disrespectful to you..

As far as it being cheating, well I'm not sure.. In my opinion cheating is anything you do that you keep from your partner or dont tell your partner. It doesn't have to just be sex..

If you are going to be getting a divorce because of this, please don't just hand everything over to her. At least do an equal split, and request the dog..

I am so sorry this is happening to you..

But let me also ask you this, once her head over heels feeling is gone with this guy and they no longer have that love sickness towards each other (usually takes roughly 8 months to figure out someone's quirks)
Would you take her back if she wanted to "be your wife" again?

Thanks everyone, I'm just .....kinda in a daze right now. I don't know what I'm gonna do.