I kinda had that sort of arrangement with a Vietnamese honey. She didn't love me, I thought I loved her but, given the objectivity of time, while I love some things about her, realized I didn't really love her. We settled into a sort of "semi-platonic" groove, some really electric kissing that, despite my best efforts, never quite led to sex. Again, partially satisfying, for me, for her, she was just playing games. We were each other's grand experiment.

yep..the always say they love me when I write the check

yes... I have had a few. I was in my 40s... recently divorced... lots of fun and no regrets. Personally I do not see a problem with it as long as you can keep the heart felt emotions out. Never more than one at a time though.

I had a wonderful FWB relationship in the late summer/fall of 2008, in spite of the fact that I'm a libertarian and she wore an Obama t-shirt the first time we met. She had advertised on Plenty of Fish that occasional adult benefits was pretty much all she wanted from a man. We agreed that we would only be having sex with each other and to immediately let the other know if we were getting serious with someone else. I went to her place maybe 5 times and she spent the night with me once. Then things changed, she moved and got a roomie, I started seeing someone else, but we're still friends and chat online sometimes.

I think part of what made this work for us is that we live an hour away from each other.

Sex and love do not have anything to do with each other. My husband has the most weak sexual abilities out anybody I ever seen or heard about but I still love my fincky kitsy. Than I can have perfect sex with somebody else and I do not see any way we could have marriage together. As people say opposites attract. Simulare people can have perfect sex together because they read each others mind (I had it happening to me practicaly every time with boyfriends) but there is no way they can last in marriage.

I had one, once long ago - a neighbor/friend. She suggested the idea, so I thought OK let's give it a try. It didn't last too long - there just wasn't physical chemistry there. She had a fun personality, and she looked great too but just not the right combo for sex I guess? It was fun the first couple of times, but then it got a bit weird. I eventually got another girl friend, and that ended things.

The FWB and I ended on good terms, but I think she might have been a bit more hurt than I, but I certainly didn't feel good about it afterward either. Still crosses mind mind to this day from time to time. I think it's always the ending that's the tough bit. The start is always rather easy.

Lately I'm finding the emotional connection is more important to me than I had thought when I was younger. I've been separated now for about 9 mos and in process of a divorce (after a long marriage,16 yrs). I've had a couple of one nighters recently - but I found the emotional connection lacking so it wasn't too good. It was ok, but not really deep. I'm hoping for more of a deeper connection in the future - so I think I personally will proceed with caution on any possible fwb opportunities. ,,,not that I really have any at the moment anyway : )

It IS like going down a dead-end street. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. It's a black hole. Maybe some can do the "get in, get off, get out" thing, but, after awhile, I for one want my soul illuminated as well as my rocks expelled of seed.

Sadly, haven't met anyone who does that. Still friends with the Vietnamese woman, but she seems obsessed with money more than love/sex or anything else. Obsession with money, too, is a dead-end street. No matter how much you have, you always want more.

A lot of women are obsessed with money not just Vietnomese. it is not dead end street to them it is dead end street to those who have to find money to give them.

I find that in today's world love and money do not mix well. It often gets confused with love of money instead.

I have a hard time accepting the general notion of "they never work out" as a reason not to do it.

If I think about it, how many of my romantic relationships have worked out? At this point, I would have to say none. Does that mean I shouldn't get involved in one because "they never work out"?

I believe if your the type that believes there is an intimate association between love and sex, then having any type of sex outside of a relationship is going to be unsatisfying.

I believe if your the type thinks love and sex are two different things, then a FwB will work as long as it's with someone else who thinks the same way.

I definitely believe getting into a FwB situation hoping (overtly or obtusely) that it will lead to more will not work unless the other person is hoping for the same.

Life is not a romantic comedy, where the couple falls in love in the end no matter what, even though the romantic in us may like to think that's the way it should be.

I've been in those situations before, and I would do it again. Communication is still important, and if I feel my lover is not looking at things the same way I am, it's to our benefit that I bring that up, even if it means ending the arrangement, because things HAVE changed.

I will say I've never looked at them as a never ending arrangement, I look at them as something more in the moment, and at any time it could end. Again, I think it's something to talk about ahead of time ... either one of us has the right to end it at any time, without warning or justification. If your lover told you they met someone and wanted to stop, and you didn't feel happy for them, you probably shouldn't get yourself into that situation to begin with.

It helps to be honest with yourself, is this really just a sex thing, or is it a "relationship lite"? Are you really trying to see what the sex will be like before you commit, and if it's good, commit? Is it really "Some strings attached"? If you knew your lover was having sex with someone else, would you feel jealous? Angry? Possessive? Nervous? Scared? Could you listen to your lover talk about a sexual experience with someone else?

My view is many people who get into a FwB arrangement really want more, and if true I believe it's a mistake. If it really is a "sex with someone I know instead of a stranger" thing, then it can work for as long as it needs to.

One final thought. If you found out someone you really liked had or has a FwB, would that change your view or feelings of them? If the answer is yes, then maybe you shouldn't do that either.

Now married, done with the FWB thing... But the last two guys I was with before my husband would be considered "FWB" situations.... The last one didn't work out ONLY because I met my husband. I have to say though that it was probably going to end up emotional, as the guy was crushing on me in high school. The one before that ended with me thinking I was pregnant and him telling me to "do something about it" then ignoring me for months........... My husband and I did an experimental "3-way" thing once and saw the guy a couple of times afterwards, but being an older, single dad & having a young woman to play with he got a bit too carried away and wanted to start taking me out to dinner or a movie once in a while... When my husband was supposed to be involved every time. So I turned him down once or twice, but he kept at it so we had to end that little experiment as well. I have since had an old high school friend who thinks he is in love with me ask if he could be my FWB or at least the "other man" but needless to say I don't need a man other than my husband and have never found one that pleasures me like him... So I turned him down as well. In my opinion the FWB thing could work if you found someone who could suit your needs just right and if you could suit their's.

Whatever happened to ole Merc?

I talk with Merc all the time, she's doing well. She usually only posted from work but she can't access DS any more.

tell her we miss her..and she can forward her nekky pics via you..

Will do Zabooie.