Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Good Afternoon Folks
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Ive heard it said that when God closes a door, He opens a window. Since I started working the Twelve Steps of Recovery, much of the fear and pain that haunted my life is gone. Some of my defects have been lifted from me, though Im still wrestling with others. I believe that if I continue to work the Twelve Steps over and over again, my life will continue to improve - physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Am I more willing and able to help others by working the Steps myself?
Today I Pray
I give thanks to God for showing me that the Gamblers Anonymous Twelve Steps of Recovery are a stairway to a saner life. As I re-work them conscientiously, my life does get better, healthier, and nearer to my Higher Power. As I continue to live them, may I feel the same gratitude and exaltation of spirit as those who are just now discovering them.
Today I Will Remember
Step by Step, day by day.
SEPTEMBER 22 Reflection for the Day
For a considerable period of time after I reached Gamblers Anonymous, I let things I couldn't do keep me from doing the things I could. If I was bothered by what a speaker or other people said, I retreated, sulking, into my shell. Now, instead of being annoyed or defensive when someone strikes a raw nerve, I try to welcome it - because it allows me to work on my attitudes and perceptions of God, self, other people, and my life situation. We may no longer gamble compulsively, but we sometimes have a compulsive thinking problem.
Am I willing to grow - and grow up?
Today I Pray
May God give me courage to test my new wings - even a feather at a time. May I not wait to be entirely whole before I re-enter the world of everyday opportunity, for recovery is ongoing and growth comes through challenges. May I no longer make desperate stabs at perfection, but keep my aims in sight and develop as I live - a day at a time.
Today I Will Remember
Things I can't do should not get in the way of things I can.
On studying the Twelve Steps of Recovery, many of us as newcomers to Gamblers Anonymous exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." "Don't be discouraged," we're told at meeting after meeting. "No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principals we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Can I believe, in the words of Browning, that my business is not to remake myself but to make the absolute best of what God made?
Today I Pray
Even if I am an old hand at the GA Program, may I not forget that the Twelve Steps of Recovery do not represent an achievement that can be checked off my "things to do" list. Instead, they are a striving for an ideal, a guide to getting there. May I keep my mind open to deepening interpretations of these principles.
Today I Will Remember
Progress rather than perfection.
"Everyone wants to be somebody, nobody wants to grow," wrote Goethe. I ask myself sometimes, as we all do: Who am I? Where am I? Where am I going? What's it all about? The learning and growing process is usually slow. But eventually our seeking always brings a finding. What seem like great mysteries often turn out to be enshrined in complete simplicity.
Have I accepted the fact that my willingness to grow is the essence of my spiritual development?
Today I Pray
God give me patience and the perseverance to keep on hoeing the long row, even when the end of it is out of sight. The principles of the Gamblers Anonymous Program are my almanac for growing, even more than harvesting. The harvest will come, abundant enough to share, if I can just stick to my garden-tending.
Today I Will Remember
Getting there, not being there.
At the suggestion of a long-timer in Gamblers Anonymous, I began taking "recovery inventories" periodically. The results showed me - clearly and unmistakably - that the promises of the GA Program have been true for me. I am not the sick person I was in years past; I am no longer bankrupt in all areas; I have a new life and a path to follow, and I'm at peace with myself most of the time. And that's a far cry from the time in my life when I dreaded facing each new day. Perhaps we should all write recovery inventories from time to time, showing how the Program is working for each of us.
Just for today, will I try to sow faith where there is fear?
Today I Pray
God, let me compare my new life with the old one - just to see how things have changed for me. May I make progress reports for myself now and then - and for those who are newer to GA. May these reports be -hearteningly - about "what I am doing" rather than - smugly- about "what I have done."
Today I Will Remember
Has the Program kept its promise? Have I kept mine?
Is freedom from compulsive gambling all that we're to expect from a spiritual awakening? Not at all. Freedom from our addiction is only the bare beginning; it's only the first gift of our first awakening. Obviously, if more gifts are to come our way, our awakening has to continue. As it does continue, we find that slowly but surely we can scrap the old life the one that didn't work for a new life that can and does work under any and all conditions.
Am I willing to continue my awakening through the practice of the Twelve Steps of Recovery?
Today I Pray
May I remember how it was when my only goal in life was to be free of compulsive gambling. All the words and phrases I used were stoppers - giving it up, quitting, cutting myself off. Once I was free, I began to realize that my freedom had more to do with beginning than stopping. May I now continue to think in terms of starters - expanding, awakening, growing, learning, becoming...
Today I Will Remember
My Stopping was a starting point.
In times past, even as adults, many of us childishly insisted that people protect, defend, and care for us. We acted as if the world owed US a living. And then, when the people we most loved became fed up, pushing us aside or perhaps abandoning us completely, we were bewildered. We couldn't see that our overdependence on people was unsuccessful because all human beings are fallible; even the best of them will sometimes let us down, especially when our demands are unreasonable. Today, in contrast, we rely upon God, counting on Him rather than on exclusively on ourselves or other people.
Am I trying to do as I think God would have me do, trusting the outcome of His will for me?
Today I Pray
May I know, from dependencies of my past, that I am a dependent person. As I depended on compulsive gambling, I was inclined, too, to hang onto other people, depending on them for more than they could give. May I, at last, switch from these adolescent dependencies to a mature, healthy dependency on my Higher Power.
Today I Will Remember
I have more than one dependency.
SEPTEMBER 28 Reflection for the Day
Now that we're free from our compulsion to gamble, and living life one day at a time, we can begin to stop making unreasonable demands upon those we love. We can show kindness where we had shown none; we can take the time and initiative to be thoughtful, considerate, and compassionate. Even with people we dislike, we can at least try to be courteous, at times literally going out of our way to understand and help them.
Just for today, will I try to understand rather than be understood, being courteous and respectful to all people with whom I'm in contact?
Today I Pray
May I never forgot my old sponge-like self, who soaked up every drop of affection and attention my family or friends could give me, until they were sapped dry. May I learn to be a giver, rather than a constant taker. May I practice offering interest, kindness, consideration, and compassion until sensitivity to others becomes second nature to me.
Today I Will Remember
Giving is part of being.
In our first weeks or months in Gamblers Anonymous, our shaky emotional condition sometimes affects our feelings toward old friends and family. For many of us, these relationships heal quickly in the initial stages of our recovery. For others, a time of "touchiness" seems to persist; now that were no longer gambling compulsively, we have to sort out our feelings about spouses, children, relatives, employers, fellow workers, and even neighbors. Experience in the GA Program over the years teaches us that we should avoid making important decisions early in our recovery - especially emotion-charged decisions about people.
Am I becoming better equipped to relate maturely to other people?
Today I Pray
May God help me through the edginess, the confusion of re-feeling and re-thinking my relationships, the getting it all together stages of my recovery. May I not rush into new relationships or new situations that demand an investment of my emotions - not yet.
Today I Will Remember
No entangling alliances too soon.
No matter what other people do or don't do, for ourselves we have to remain abstinent from gambling. When our program of recovery becomes contingent on the actions or inactions of another person especially someone with whom we're emotionally involved the results are invariably disastrous. We also need to remember that intense dislike is as much an emotional involvement as new-found romantic love. In short, we have to cool any risky emotional involvements in the first few months of our recovery, trying to accept the fact that our feelings can change quickly and dramatically. Our watchword must be First Things First, concentrating on our number one problem, recovery from compulsive gambling, before anything else.
Am I building a firm foundation while steering clear of slippery emotional areas?
Today I Pray
May I always remember that healthy relationships with people are necessary for my recovery, but that substituting an obsession with either a love or hate object is as dangerous to my well-being as any other addiction.
Today I Will Remember
A dependency is a dependency is a dependency.
We can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We can be all by ourselves and still feel happy and content. What makes the difference? We feel lonely if we look to other people for something they really cant provide. No one else can give US peace of mind, an inner sense of acceptance, and serenity. And when we find ourselves alone, we neednt feel lonely. God is with us; Gods presence is like warmth enfolding us. The more were aware of ourselves as beloved by God, the more were able to feel content and secure - whether were with others or alone.
Am I experiencing a sense of God at all times and in all places?
Today I Pray
May I understand that we each have our own kind of loneliness - whether we are young and friendless, old and kept waiting by death, bereft, left, running away, or just feeling out of it in a crowd. May my loneliness be eased a bit by the fact that loneliness is, indeed, a universal feeling that everyone knows first-hand - even though some lives seem more empty than others. May I - and all the lonely people - take comfort in the companionship of God.
Today I Will Remember
Shared loneliness is less lonely.
An entire philosophy of life is condensed in the slogan "Live and Let Live." First were urged to live fully, richly, and happily - to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do. Then comes a more difficult challenge: let live. This means accepting the right of every other person to live as he or she wishes, without criticism or judgment from us. The slogan rules out contempt for those who dont think as we do. It also warns against resentments, reminding us not to interpret other peoples actions as intentional injuries to us.
Am I becoming less tempted to clutter my mind with how others act or live?
Today I Pray
May I live my life to the fullest, understanding that pure pleasure-seeking is not pleasure-finding, but that Gods goodness is here to be shared. May I partake of it. May I learn not to take over responsibility for anothers adult decisions; that is my old controlling self trying, just one more time, to be the executive director of other peoples lives.
Today I Will Remember
Live and Let Live.
Ive learned in Gamblers Anonymous that I am wholly powerless over my compulsion. At long last, Ive conceded my powerlessness; as a result, my life has taken a 180-degree turn for the better. However, I do have a power, derived from God, to change my own life. Ive learned that acceptance does not mean submission to an unpleasant or degrading situation. It means accepting the reality of the situation and then deciding what, if anything, I can and will do about it.
Have I stopped trying to control the uncontrollable? Am I gaining the courage to change the things I can?
Today I Pray
I ask my Higher Power for direction as I learn to sort out the things I can change from the things I cant, for that sorting process does, indeed, require God-given wisdom. May "the things I cannot change" not give me an excuse for inactivity. May "the things I can" not include managing other peoples lives. May I start to understand my own reality.
Today I Will Remember
Acceptance is not inactivity. Change is not domination.
We are powerless over gambling; that admission brought us to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, where we learn through unconditional surrender that there is victory in defeat. After a time, we learn in Twelfth Step work that were not only powerless over our own addiction, but over the addiction of others. We cannot will another person to abstinence from gambling, for example, any more than we can hold back the sunset. We may minister to another persons physical or emotional needs; we may share with him, cry with him, and take him to meetings. But we cannot get inside his head and push some sort of magic button that will make him - or her - take that all-important First Step.
Do I still sometimes try to play God?
Today I Pray
May I understand my all-too-human need to be the boss, have the upper hand, be the final authority - even in the humbling business of my own addiction. May I see how easy it would be to become a big-shot Twelfth Stepper. May I also see that, no matter how much I care and want to help, I have no control over anothers addiction - any more than someone else has control over mine.
Today I Will Remember
I cannot engineer anothers recovery.
Soon after I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I found a Higher Power whom I choose to call God. Ive come to believe that He has all power; if I stay close to Him and do His work well, He provides me not with what I think I want, but with what I need. Gradually, Im becoming less interested in myself and my little schemes; at the same time, Im becoming more interested in seeing what I can contribute to others and to life.
As I become more conscious of Gods presence, am I beginning to lose my self-centered fears?
Today I Pray
May I see that the single most evident change in myself - beyond my own inner sense of peace - is that I have come out from behind my phony castle walls, dropped the drawbridge that leads into my real village and crossed it. I am back among people again, interested in them, caring what happens to them. May I find my joy here in this peopled reality, now that I have left behind those old self-protective fears and illusions of my own uniqueness.
Today I Will Remember
What is life without other people?
As we "Keep Coming Back" to meetings, we're able to recognize those who have an abundance of serenity. We are drawn to these people. To our surprise, we sometimes find that those who seem most grateful for today's blessings are the very ones who have the most serious and continuing problems at home or at work. Yet they have the courage to turn away from such problems, actively seeking to learn and help others in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. How have they gotten this serenity? It must be because they depend less on themselves and their own limited resources - and more on a Power greater than themselves in whom they have confidence.
Am I acquiring the gift of serenity? Have my actions begun to reflect my inner faith?
Today I Pray
May I never cease to be awed by the serenity I see in others in my group - a serenity that manifests their comfortable surrender to a Higher Power. May I learn from them that peace of mind is possible even in the thick of trouble. May I learn, too, that I need to pull back from my problems now and then and draw upon the God-provided pool of serenity within myself.
Today I Will Remember
Serenity is surrender to God's plan.
OCTOBER 7 Reflection for the Day
When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word "serenity" itself seemed like an impossibility. At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apathy, resignation, or grim-faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal. But I've since found that serenity means none of those things. Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. My favorite definition is, "Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us."
Is that a state of mind worth aiming for?
Today I Pray
May I notice that "serenity" comes first, ahead of "courage" and "wisdom," in the sequence of the Serenity Prayer. May I believe that "serenity" must also come first in my life. I must have the balance, realistic outlook, and acceptance that is part of this blessing of serenity before I can go on to the kind of decision-making that will bring order to my existence.
Today I Will Remember
Serenity comes first.