Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Good Afternoon Folks
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
As the doubter tries the process of prayer, he would do well to add up the results. If he persists, he'll almost surely find more serenity, more tolerance, less fear, and less anger. He'll acquire a quiet courage-the kind that isn't tension-ridden. He'll be able to look at "failure" and "success" for what they really are. Problems and calamity will begin to mean his instruction, instead of his destruction. He'll feel freer and saner.
Have wonderful and accountable things begun to happen to me in my new life?
Today I Pray
Through prayer, communion with a Higher Power, may I begin to see life sort itself out. May I become less tense, more sane, more open, more courageous, more loving, less tangled in problems, less afraid of losing, less afraid of living. May I know that God, too, wants these things for me. May God's will be done.
Today I Will Remember
Be still and know that He is God.
MAY 11 Reflection for the Day
Now that I know I can no longer use false courage that is really bravado, I seek and pray for twenty-four-hour courage to change the things I can. Obviously, this isn't the kind of courage that will make me a strong and brave person for life, able to handle any and all situations courageously. Rather, what I need is a persistent and intelligent courage, continuing each day into the next one - but doing today only what can be done today and avoiding all fear and worry with regard to the final result.
What does courage mean to me today?
Today I Pray
May I tackle only those things I have a chance of changing. And change must start with me, a day at a time. May I know that acceptance often is a form of courage. I pray not for super-bravery, but just for persistence to meet what life brings to me without being overcome by it.
Today I Will Remember
Courage is meeting a day at a time.
My courage must come each day, as does my desire to avoid a single bet, a single addictive act. It must be a continuing courage, without deviations and procrastination, without rashness, and without fear of obstacles. This would seem like a large order indeed, were it not for the fact that it is confined to this one day, and that within this day much power is given to me.
Do I extend the Serenity Prayer to my entire life?
Today I Pray
May each new morning offer me a supply of courage to last me during the day. If my courage is renewed each day and I know that I need just a day's worth, that courage will always be fresh and the supply will not run out. May I realize, as days pass, that what I feared during the earliest days of my recovery I no longer fear, that my daily courage is now helping me cope with bigger problems.
Today I Will Remember
God give me courage - just for today.
When a person wakes up each morning and rises, with nerves screaming and sick at heart, to face frightening reality; when a person stumbles through the day in a pit of despair, wishing to die, but refusing to die; when a person gets up the next day and does it all over again - well, that takes guts. That takes a kind of real, basic survival courage, a courage that can be put to good use if that person ever finds his or her way to Gamblers Anonymous. That person has learned courage the hard way, and when that person comes to the GA Program, he or she will find new and beautiful ways to use it.
Have I the courage to keep trying, one day at a time?
Today I Pray
May I put the "guts-to-survive" kind of courage left over from my gambling days into good use in the Program. If I was able to "hang on" enough to live through the miseries of my addiction, may I translate that same will to survive into my recovery program. May I use my courage in new, constructive ways.
Today I Will Remember
God preserved me to help carry out His purpose.
"A very popular error - having the courage of one's convictions; rather it is a matter of having the courage for an attack upon one's convictions," wrote Nietzsche. The Gamblers Anonymous Program is helping me get rid of my old ideas by sharing with others and working the Twelve Steps. Having made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of myself; having admitted to myself and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs; and having become entirely ready to have all my defects of character removed - I will humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings.
Am I trying to follow the Program just as it is?
Today I Pray
I pray that I may continue to practice the Twelve Steps, over and over again, if need be. The Program has worked for thousands and thousands of recovering compulsive gamblers the world over. It can work for me. May I pause regularly and check to see if I am really practicing the GA Program, as it is set forth.
Today I Will Remember
Step by Step.
Looking back at those last desperate days before I came to Gamblers Anonymous, I remember more than anything the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Even when I was surrounded by people, including my own family, the sense of "aloneness" was overwhelming. Even when I tried to act sociable and wore the mask of cheerfulness, I usually felt a terrible anger at not belonging
Will I ever forget the misery of being "alone in a crowd"?
Today I Pray
I thank God for the greatest single joy that has come to me outside of my abstinence from gambling - the feeling that I am no longer alone. May I not assume that loneliness will vanish overnight. May I know that there will be a lonely time during recovery, especially since I must pull away from my former gambling buddies. I pray that I may find new friends who are recovering. I thank God for the Gamblers Anonymous Fellowship.
Today I Will Remember
I am not alone.
Boy, have I worn that mask. I felt so alone . I would have lost everything and have to struggle on with life in the real world , whilst all the while my mind was spinning uncontrollably wondering how I was going to get out of the mess I had created of my life and also with the compulsion and obsession to stay gambling going on inside me and fighting not to gamble simultaneously and lying to get money. God , I'm even getting tired thinking about it.
I am a recovering alcoholic also and the big difference id that there was no way I could physically cover up that addiction when I was drinking.
Gambling is different. Most people did not know the mess I was in because of that mask. That is one of the reasons gambling is so dangerous. We can cover up the extent of it until the bitter end and if we are lucky , we find recovery.
Thanks Ken for the post.
John
Many of us in the Gamblers Anonymous Program share the memory that we originally gambled to "belong," to "be a big shot," or to "be a part of the crowd." Others of us fueled our addictions in order to "get in" - to feel, at least for a short time, that we fitted in with the rest of the human race. Sometimes, our gambling had the desired effect, temporarily assuaging our feelings of apartness. But when the rush of the action wore off, we were left feeling more alone, more left out, more "different" than ever.
Do I sometimes feel that "my case is different"?
Today I Pray
God, may I get over my feeling of being "different" or in some way unique, of not belonging. Perhaps it was this feeling that led me to gambling in the first place. It also kept me from seeing the seriousness of my addiction, since I thought "I am different. I can handle it." May I now be aware that I do belong, to a vast Fellowship of people like me. With every shared experience, my "uniqueness" is disappearing.
Today I Will Remember
I am not unique.
If we felt guilty, degraded, or ashamed of either our addiction itself or the things we did while "in action," that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling; we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn't even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon gambled again.
Do I remember well what it used to be like?
Today I Pray
May I remember how often, during my gambling days, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a gambling party or the shallow relationships struck up at a casino could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the Fellowship. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature.
Today I Will Remember
Thank God for new friends.
I considered myself a "loner" in the days when I was gambling. Although I was often with other people - saw them, heard them, touched them - most of my important dialogues were with my inner self. I was certain that nobody else would ever understand. Considering my former opinion of myself, it's likely that I didn't want anybody to understand. I smiled through gritted teeth even as I was dying on the inside.
Have my insides begun to match my outside since I've been in the Gamblers Anonymous Program?
Today I Pray
May my physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual selves become one, a whole person again. I thank my Higher Power for showing me how to match my outside to my inside, to laugh when I feel like laughing, to cry when I feel sad, to recognize my own anger or fear or guilt. I pray for wholeness.
Today I Will Remember
I am becoming whole.
This reflection is truly the pot of gold at the end of rainbow.
Thanks for the post ken.
love,
victoria
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us,"wrote Oliver Wendell Holmes.I was never able to look at what was within me until I came to Gamblers Anonymous and I heard my story told.Then I no longer had my "uniqueness" to hide behind.What was more,the person seemed a lot happier telling it than I was hearing it.I was jealous of a winner - always had been - so I began,ever so slowly to tell my own story.
Am I surprised today that all that was within me could possibly have been kept secret so long from the outside world.
Today I Pray
Regardless of what lies ahead or behind me,may I remember that I must have God within me to guide me through difficult situations.When I am not in a difficult situation,may I thank God - and know that He is the reason I am where I am today.
Today I Will Remember
To make room for God within me.
Compulsive gambling is a lonely disease; although it may have seemed that we were part of the lights-and-action crowd, we were often tortured by loneliness. Even before the end of our gambling days - before the debts and the guilt showed us how unmanageable our lives had become - nearly all of us felt that we didn't quite belong. Either we were basically shy, or we were noisy good fellows craving attention and approval, but rarely getting it. Though we sought through the seeming sociability of gambling to overcome our loneliness, reckless risk was always lonely. Finally, even the Game itself betrayed us; we were struck down and left in terrified isolation.
Have I begun to achieve an inner calm?
Today I Pray
May I know the tenderness of an intimate relationship with God and the calm I feel when I touch God's spirit. May I translate this tenderness and calm to my relationships with others. May God deliver me from my lifelong feeling of loneliness and show me how to be a friend.
Today I Will Remember
God can teach me to be a friend.