Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Good Afternoon Folks
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches me that not too many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us have to admit that we've loved only a few, and that we've been quite indifferent to many. As for the rest, well, we've really disliked or hated them. We in Gamblers Anonymous find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anyone at all, has to be abandoned - if only a little at a time.
At meetings, do I concentrate on the message rather than the messenger?
Today I Pray
May I understand that there is no place in my recovery from compulsive gambling - or in my entire life - for toxic hatred or lackadaisical indifference. One of the most important positive ideas that I must carry with me is that all humans, as the children of God, make up a loving brother-and sisterhood. May I find it hard to hate a brother or sister.
Today I Will Remember
Hear the message. Don't judge the messenger.
Adjusting myself to things as they are, and being able to love without trying to interfere with or control anyone else, however close to me - that's one of the important things I search for and can find in Gamblers Anonymous. The learning is sometimes painful; however, the reward is life itself - full and serene.
Is the Program helping restore me to a sane and reasonable way of thinking, so I can handle my interpersonal relationships with love and understanding?
Today I Pray
May I respect those that I love enough to set them free - to stop controlling, manipulating, scheming, bailing them out of trouble. May I love them enough to let them make their own mistakes and take responsibility for them. May I learn to let go.
Today I Will Remember
Loving is letting go.
Few of us are entirely free from a sense of guilt. We may feel guilty for things we've said or done - of things we've left unsaid or undone. We're so used to that gnawing guilt that even when we're accused falsely we still feel guilty. When I'm troubled by naggings of guilt, obviously I can't put into my day all the energy I'm capable of. So I must rid myself of guilt - not by pushing it aside or ignoring it, but by identifying it and correcting the cause.
Have I finally begun to learn to "Keep It Simple?"
Today I Pray
Since guilt is such a familiar feeling for a compulsive gambler, may I learn to understand when my feelings are simply natural regret at what has happened and when I am taking on a pose of perpetual guilt. I count on God to help me sort out and get rid of these twinges and pangs of guilt, which need to be recognized and unloaded.
Today I Will Remember
The verdict of guilty is not for life.
A friend in Gamblers Anonymous taught me to look at excessive guilt in a entirely new way, suggesting that guilt was nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened is fine, he said. But guilt, no. I've since learned that condemning ourselves for mistakes we've made is just as bad as condemning others for theirs. We're not really equipped to make judgments, even of ourselves.
Do I still sometimes "beat myself to death" when I appear to be failing?
Today I Pray
May I be wary of keeping my guilty role alive long after I should have left it behind. May I know the difference between regret and guilt. May I recognize that long-term guilt may imply an exaggerated idea of my own importance, as well as present self-righteousness. May God alone be my judge.
Today I Will Remember
Guilt may be pride in reverse.
JUNE 9 Reflection for the Day
Some of us, new in Gamblers Anonymous, couldn't resist telling anyone who would listen just how "terrible" we were. Just as we often exaggerated our modest accomplishments by pride, so we exaggerated our defects through guilt. Racing about and "confessing all," we somehow considered the widespread exposure of our sins to be true humility, considering it a great spiritual asset. Only as we grew in the Program did we realize that our theatrics and storytelling were merely forms of exhibitionism. And with that realization came the beginning of a certain amount of humility.
Am I starting to become aware that I'm not so important, after all?
Today I Pray
May I learn that there is a chasm of difference between real humility and the dramatic self-put-down. May I be confronted if I unconsciously demand center-stage to out-do and out-risk others with my gambling stories. May I be cautious that the accounts of my addictive misdeeds do not take on the epic grandeur of heroic exploits. May I avoid the bordering on prideful "game-ologue."
Today I Will Remember
I will not star in my own "game-ologue."
When I least expect it, my keen addictive mind will try to divert me back toward my old ideas and old ways. My mind is expert, in fact, at planting and nourishing negative feelings within me - feelings such as envy, fear, anxiety, or guilt. The minute I spot any of these poisonous feelings rising up, I have to deal with them. If not, the more I think about them, the stronger they'll get; the stronger they get, the more I'll think about them - to the point of obsession.
When negative feelings arise, do I "name them, claim them, and dump them"?
Today I Pray
I should know - and may I never forget - that a sure way to let my feelings get the best of me is to pretend they aren't there. Like spoiled offspring, they act up when they are ignored. But also like offspring, they are here, they are mine, and I am responsible for them. May I learn to pay attention to my feelings, even if sometimes I would rather make believe they didn't belong to me.
Today I Will Remember
Name them, claim them, dump them.
Guilt is a cunning weapon in the armory of the compulsive gambler. We can use the weapon against ourselves in many subtle ways; it can be deftly wielded, for example, in an attempt to convince us that the Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn't really work. I have to protect myself constantly against guilt and self-accusations concerning my past. If necessary, I must constantly "re-forgive" myself, accepting myself as a mixture of good as well as bad.
Am I striving for spiritual progress? Or will I settle for nothing less than the human impossibility of spiritual perfection?
Today I Pray
May I look inside myself now and then for any slow-burning, leftover guilt that can, when I'm unwary, damage my purpose. May I stop kicking myself and pointing out my own imperfections - all those lesser qualities which detract from the ideal and "perfect" me. May I no longer try to be unreachably, inhumanly perfect, but just spiritually whole.
Today I Will Remember
I am human - part good, part not-so-good.
Many of us have had difficulty ridding ourselves of the ravages of guilt. During the early days in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, I either misunderstood certain of the Steps, or tried to apply them too quickly and too eagerly. The result was that I increased my feelings of guilt and worthlessness, rather than freeing myself as the Steps intend. Soon, though, I became at least willing to forgive myself, and I made a new beginning. I undertook all the soul-searching and cleansing Steps in our Program as they were intended to be taken, and not from a below-ground position of crippling hate and guilt.
Have I made amends to myself?
Today I Pray
May I forgive myself, as God has forgiven me. May I know that if I am hanging on to an old satchel full of guilt, then I am not following the example God has shown me. If my Higher Power, who has demonstrated forgiveness by leading me to this healing place, can forgive me, then so can I. May I not begrudge myself what God has so generously offered.
Today I Will Remember
God forgives. So must I.
I don't believe that the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the Twelve Steps work because I read it in a book, or because I hear other people say so. I believe it because I see other people recovering and because I know that I, too, am recovering. No longer do I believe that I am "helpless and hopeless." When I see the change in other people and in myself, I know that the Program works. When a television reporter once asked the philosopher Jung if he believed in God, Jung replied slowly, "I don't believe, I know."
Do I know that the Program works?
Today I Pray
Show me the happy endings, the mended lives, the reconstituted selves, the rebuilt bridges, so I will not have to accept on faith the fact that the Program works. May I see it working - for others and for me. May I be grateful for the documented reality of the Program's success. May this certainty help me find the faith I need to follow the Twelve Steps.
Today I Will Remember
The Gamblers Anonymous Program works.
Somewhere along the line, as we become more involved in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we reach a sharp awareness of the growth-value of honesty and candour. When this happens, one of the first things we're able to admit is that our past behaviour has been far from sane or even reasonable. As soon as we can make this admission - without shame or embarrassment - we find still another dimension of freedom.
In my gradual recovery, am I expectant that life will become ever richer and ever more serene?
Today I Pray
May I know, even as I take that mighty First Step, which may be the first really honest move I have made in a long time, that honesty takes practice. My old, deluded, head-tripping self is as different from the honest self that I must become as night is from day. May I realize that it will take more than just one grey dawn to change me.
Today I Will Remember
Honesty takes practice.
Learning how to live in peace and partnership - with all men and women - is a fascinating and often very moving adventure. But each of us in Gamblers Anonymous has found that we're not able to make much headway in our new adventure of living until we first take the time to make an accurate and unsparing survey of the human wreckage we've left in our wake.
Have I made a list of persons I have harmed, as Step Eight suggests, and become willing to make amends to them all?
Today I Pray
May God give me the honesty I need, not only to look inside myself and discover what is really there, but to see the ways that my sick and irresponsible behaviour has affected those around me. May I understand that my addiction is not - as I used to think - a loner's disease, that, no matter how alone I felt, my lies and fabrications spread out around me in widening circles of hurt.
Today I Will Remember
Lies spread to infinity.
The Ninth Step of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is:"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,except when to do so would injure them or others."To make restitution for the wrongs we've done can be extremely difficult,to say the least;if nothing else,it deflates our egos and batters our pride.Yet that in itself is a reward, and such restitution can bring still greater rewards.When we go to a person and say we're sorry,the reaction is almost invariably positive.Courage is required,to be sure,but the results more than justify the action.
Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible?
Today I Pray
May I count on my Higher Power to stop me if I start to crawl out from under my Ninth Step responsibility.May I feel that blessed,liberating wash of relief that goes with saying,out loud,to someone I have harmed,"I was wrong.I made mistakes.I am honestly sorry."May I not worry about cracking that brittle,cover-up crust of my ego,because the inside will be ore mature.
Today I Will Remember
Restitution is blessed.
June 17 Reflection for the Day
Readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts,and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time,is the very spirit of Step Nine.A casual apology,on the one hand,will rarely suffice in making amends to one we have harmed;a true change of attitude,in contrast,can do wonders to make up for past unkindnesses.If I've deprived anyone of any material thing,I'll acknowledge the debt and pay it as soon as I'm able.
Will I swallow my pride and make the first overtures toward reconciliation?
Today I Pray
God,show me the best ways to make "direct amends."Sometimes simply admitting my mistakes may make it up to someone and unload my own simmering guilt.Other times restitution may take some creative thought.May I be wholly aware that I cannot take this Ninth Step unless I develop some caring,some real concern about how others feel,along with changes in my behaviour.
Today I Will Remember
First I care,then I apologize.
I believe today that I have a right to make spiritual progress. I have a right to be emotionally mature. I have a right to take pleasure in my own company, and that makes me more pleasant to be with. I also have a right to become willing - deeply willing, entirely willing - to make amends to all those I've harmed. Because I can now accept myself the way I am, I can accept other people the way they are - not entirely, but to a much greater degree than in the past.
Have I begun to make friends with God, and thus with myself?
Today I Pray
May God show me that it's okay to like myself, even while trying to repair old wrongs and rebuild from splinters. May I keep telling myself that I am different now. I have changed. I am a better and wiser and healthier person. I have made some good choices. As this new person," may I find it easier to make atonements for what happened long ago and in another spiritual place. May those I have wronged also find it easier to accept my amends.
Today I Will Remember
It's okay to like myself.
The Gamblers Anonymous Program teaches us that only one consideration should qualify our desire to completely disclose the damage we've done. And that's where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we're making amends or, just as important, others close to that person. We can hardly unload a detailed account of extramarital misadventures, for example, on the shoulders of an unsuspecting wife or husband. When we recklessly make the burdens of others heavier, such actions surely can't lighten our own burden. Sometimes, in that sense, "telling all" may be almost a self-indulgence for us. So in making amends, we should be tactful, sensible, considerate, and humble - without being servile.
As a child of God, do I stand on my feet and not crawl before anyone?
Today I Pray
May God show me that self-hatred has no role in making amends to others. Neither has the play-acting of self-indulgence. I ask most humbly for my Higher Power's guidance as I strive to maintain a mature balance in interpersonal relations, even in the most casual or fragile ones.
Today I Will Remember
Making amends is mending.