Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Good Afternoon Folks
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Among the important things we learn in Gamblers Anonymous is to be good to ourselves. For so many of us, though, this is a surprisingly difficult thing to do. Some of us relish our suffering so much that we balloon each happening to enormous proportions in the reliving and telling. Self-pitiers are drawn to martyrdom as if by a powerful magnet - until the joys of serenity and contentment come to them through the GA Program and Twelve Steps.
Am I gradually learning to be myself?
Today I Pray
May I learn to forgive myself. I have asked - and received - forgiveness from God and from others, so why is it so hard to forgive myself? Why do I still magnify my suffering? Why do I go on licking my emotional wounds? May I follow Gods forgiving example, get on with the Program, and learn to be good to myself.
Today I Will Remember
Martyrdom; martyr dumb.
Sometimes through bitter experience and painful lessons, we learn in our fellowship with others in Gamblers Anonymous that resentment is our number one enemy. It destroys more of us than anything else. From resentment stem all forms of spiritual disease, for weve been not only mentally and physically ill, but spiritually ill as well. As we recover and as our spiritual illness is remedied, we become well physically and mentally.
Am I aware that few things are more bitter than to feel bitter? Do I see that my venom is more poisonous to me than to my victim?
Today I Pray
I ask for help in removing the pile of resentments I have collected. May I learn that resentments are play-actors, too; they may be fears- losing a job, a love, an opportunity; they may be hurts or guilty feelings. May I know that God is my healer. May I admit my need.
Today I Will Remember
Resentments are rubbish; haul them away.
What can we do about our resentments? Experience has shown that the best thing to do is to write them down, listing people, institutions, or principles that are objects of our anger or resentment. When I write down my resentments and then ask myself why Im resentful, Ive discovered that in most cases my self-esteem, my finances, my ambitions, or my personal relationships have been hurt or threatened.
Will I ever learn that the worst thing about my resentments is my endless rehearsal of my acts of retribution?
Today I Pray
May God help me find a way to get rid of my resentments. May I give up the hours spent making up little playlets, in which I star as the angry man or woman cleverly shouting down the person who has threatened me. Since these dramas are never produced, may I instead list my resentful feelings and look at the whys behind each one. May this be a way of shelving them.
Today I Will Remember
Resentments cause violence: resentments cause illness in nonviolent people.
As a recovering compulsive gambler, I have to remind myself that no amount of social acceptance of resentments will take the poison out of them. In a way, the problem of resentments is very much like the gambling problem. A poker game or casino is never safe for me. Ive attended benefits for worthy causes, often in a convivial atmosphere that makes gambling seem almost harmless.
Just as I politely but adamantly decline gambling under any conditions, will I also refuse to accept resentments?
Today I Pray
When anger, hurt, fear, or guilt - to be socially acceptable - put on their polite, party manners, dress up as resentments, and come in the side door, may I not hobnob with them. These emotions, disguised as they are, can be as full of trickery as gambling itself.
Today I Will Remember
Keep an eye on the side door.
On numerous occasions, Ive found that theres a strong connection between my fears and my resentments. If I secretly fear that Im inadequate, for example, Ill tend to resent deeply anybody whose actions or words expose my imagined inadequacy. But its usually too painful to admit that my own fears and doubts about myself are the cause of my resentments. Its a lot easier to pin the blame on someone elses "bad behavior" or "selfish motives" - and use that as the justification for my resentments.
Do I realize that by resenting someone, I allow that person to live rent-free in my head?
Today I Pray
May God help me overcome my feelings of inadequacy. May I know that when I consistently regard myself as a notch or two lower than the next person, I am not giving due credit to my Creator, who has given each of us a special and worthwhile blend of talents. I am, in fact, grumbling about Gods Divine Plan. May I look behind my trash-pile of resentments for my own self-doubt.
Today I Will Remember
As I build myself up, I tear down my resentments.
AUGUST 10 Reflection for the Day
Weve been our own worst enemies most of our lives, and weve often injured ourselves seriously as a result of a "justified" resentment over a slight wrong. Doubtless there are many causes for resentment in the world, most of them providing "justification." But we can never begin to settle all the worlds grievances or even arrange things so as to please everybody. If weve been treated unjustly by others or simply by life itself, we can avoid compounding the difficulty by completely forgiving the persons involved and abandoning the destructive habit of reviewing our hurts and humiliations.
Can I believe that yesterdays hurt is todays understanding, rewoven into tomorrows love?
Today I Pray
Whether I am unjustly treated or just think I am, may I try not to be a resentful person, stewing over past injuries. Once I have identified the root emotion behind my resentment, may I be big enough to forgive the person involved and wise enough to forget the whole thing.
Today I Will Remember
Not all injustice can be fixed.
When I dwell on piddling things that annoy me and they sprout resentments that grow bigger and bigger like weeds - I forget how I could be stretching my world and broadening my outlook. For me, that's an ideal way to shrink troubles down to their real size. When somebody or something is causing me trouble, I should try to see the incident in relation to the rest of my life - especially the part that's good and for which I should be grateful.
Am I willing to waste my life worrying about trifles that drain my spiritual energy?
Today I Pray
May God keep me from worrying unduly about small things. May He, instead, open my eyes to the grandeur of His universe and the ceaseless wonders of His earth. May He grant me the breadth of vision that can reduce any small, fretful concern of mine to the size of a fly on a cathedral window.
Today I Will Remember
Microscopic irritations can ruin my vision.
Someone once inquired of a Zen master, "How do you maintain such serenity and peace?" He replied, "I never leave my place of meditation." Although he meditated early in the morning, for the rest of the day he carried the peace of those moments with him. Being quiet, slowing down, is one of the most difficult tasks facing most compulsive gamblers in their recovery. Action has been a way of life for so long that I have to learn all over again to slow down and listen. Beginning each day in prayer and meditation can be the most rewarding experience of my day. When I choose to take peace and serenity with me throughout the day, the world itself seems to slow down and move at my pace, rather than spinning so fast that I'm always running to catch up.
Will I cherish the glorious peace that comes through meditation?
Today I Pray
May my days begin slowly, in quietness, and remain peaceful, as I keep my focus on what is before me to do at the moment, instead of projecting a blur of unsettling activity. As frenetic action was a symptom of my compulsion, serenity is a sign of my recovery.
Today I Will Remember
To allow serenity into my life.
AUGUST 13 Reflection for the Day
The Gamblers Anonymous Program's Fourth Step suggests that we make a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. For some of us, no challenge seems more formidable; there's nothing more difficult than facing ourselves as we really are. We flee from one wrongdoing after another as they catch up with us, forever making excuses, pleading always that our virtues in other areas far outweigh our flaws. Yet once we become willing to look squarely and self-searchingly at ourselves, we're than able to illuminate the dark and negative side of our natures with new vision, determination, and grace.
Am I willing to open my eyes and step out into the sunlight?
Today I Pray
May my Higher Power stop me in my tracks if I am running away from myself. For I will never overcome my misdeeds, or the flaws in my character that brought them about, by letting them chase me. May I slow down and turn to face them with the most trusty weapon I know - truth.
Today I Will Remember
I will not be a fugitive from myself.
The Gamblers Anonymous Program's Fourth Step suggests that we make a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves. For some of us, no challenge seems more formidable; there's nothing more difficult than facing ourselves as we really are. We flee from one wrongdoing after another as they catch up with us, forever making excuses, pleading always that our virtues in other areas far outweigh our flaws. Yet once we become willing to look squarely and self-searchingly at ourselves, we're than able to illuminate the dark and negative side of our natures with new vision, determination, and grace.
Am I willing to open my eyes and step out into the sunlight?
Today I Pray
May my Higher Power stop me in my tracks if I am running away from myself. For I will never overcome my misdeeds, or the flaws in my character that brought them about, by letting them chase me. May I slow down and turn to face them with the most trusty weapon I know - truth.
Today I Will Remember
I will not be a fugitive from myself.
Step Four enables me to see myself as I really am - my characteristics, motives, attitudes, and behaviors. I'm taught in Gamblers Anonymous to search out my mistakes resolutely. Where, for example, had I been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? I'm taught, also, that my deeply rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to "explain away" each fault as I uncover it, blaming others for my own shortcomings.
Will I believe that personal honesty can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot?
Today I Pray
May I not make the Fourth Step a once-over-lightly, let's-get-it-over-with exercise in self-appraisal. May I know that, once I take this Step, I must review it again many times until it becomes, like the other eleven, a way of life for me. May I protect the value of my Fourth Step from my old habit of head-tripping and buckpassing my way out of responsibility.
Today I Will Remember
Personal honesty paves the way to recovery.
It's often said that you can't tell a book by its cover. For many of us, our "covers" or surface records haven't looked all that bad; it seemed at first, that making an inventory would be "a breeze." As we proceeded, we were dismayed to discover that our "covers" were relatively blemish-free only because we'd deeply buried our defects beneath layers of self-deception. For that reason, self-searching can be a long-term process; it must go on for as long as we remain blind to the flaws that ambushed us into addiction and misery.
Will I try to face myself as I am, correcting whatever is keeping me from being the person I want to be?
Today I Pray
May God aid me in my soul-searching, because I have hidden many of my faults neatly from friends, family, and especially myself. If I feel "more sinned against, than sinning," may I take it as a clue that I need to dig deeper for the real me.
Today I Will Remember
Taking stock of myself is buying stock in my future.
Inventory-taking isn't always done in red ink. It's a rare day when we haven't done something right. As I uncover and face my shortcomings, my many good qualities will be revealed to me also, reminding me that they have the same reality as my faults. Even when we've tried hard and failed, for instance, we can chalk that up as one of the greatest credits of all. I'll try to appreciate my good qualities, because they not only offset the faults, but give me a foundation on which to grow. It's just as self-deceptive to discount what's good in us as to justify what is not.
Can I take comfort in my positive qualities, accepting myself as a friend?
Today I Pray
If I find only defects when I look in that Fourth Step mirror, may I be sure that I am missing something - namely my good points. Although my ultra-modesty may be approved socially, may I learn that it is just as dishonest as rationalizing away my faults. Even an out-and-out failure, if examined from all sides, may turn up a plus along with the obvious minuses.
Today I Will Remember
To give myself, if not an A for effort, at least an average B minus.
The Fourth Step suggests we make a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory - not an immoral inventory of ourselves. The Steps are guidelines to recovery, not whipping posts for self-flagellation. Taking my inventory doesn't mean concentrating on my shortcomings until all the good is hidden from view. By the same token, recognizing the good need not be an act of pride or conceit. If I recognize my good qualities as God-given, I can take an inventory with true humility while experiencing satisfaction in what is pleasant, loving, and generous in me.
Will I try to believe, in Walt Whitman's words, "I am larger, better than I thought; I did not know I held so much goodness. . . "
Today I Pray
When I find good things about myself, as I undertake this inner archaeological dig, may I give credit where it is due - to God, who is the giver of all good. May I appreciate whatever is good about me with humility, as a gift from God.
Today I Will Remember
Goodness is a gift from God.
As compulsive gamblers, self-delusion was intricately woven through almost all of what we thought and did. We became experts at convincing ourselves, when necessary, that black was white, that wrong was right, or even that day was night. Now that were in the Gamblers Anonymous Program, our need for self-delusion is fading. If Im fooling myself these days, my sponsor can spot it quickly. And, as he or she skillfully steers me away from my fantasies, I find that Im less and less likely to defend myself against reality and unpleasant truths about myself. Gradually, in the process, my pride, fear, and ignorance are losing their destructive power.
Do I firmly believe that a solitary self-appraisal wouldnt be nearly enough?
Today I Pray
May I understand that not only must I look to my Higher Power, but that I need to trust my fellow members of the group in this Step of self-evaluation. For we mirror each other in all of our delusions and fantasies, and with these facing mirrors, we produce a depth of perspective that we could never come by alone.
Today I Will Remember
To see myself all around, I need a three-way mirror - with reflections from God, my friends, and me.
"How does the Gamblers Anonymous Program work?" newcomers sometimes ask. The two answers I most often hear are "very well" and "slowly." Im appreciative of both answers, facetious as they may first sound, because my self-analyzing tends to be faulty. Sometimes Ive failed to share my defects with the right people; other times, Ive confessed their defects, rather than my own; at still other times, my sharing of defects has been more in the nature of shrill complaints about problems. The fact is that none of us likes the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, and the confession of shortcomings that the Steps require. But we eventually see that the GA Program really works.
Have I picked up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at my feet?
Today I Pray
May God keep me from laying out my defects by comparing them to someone elses. We are, by nature, relativists and comparers, who think in terms of "worse than," "not quite as bad as, " or "better than." May I know that my faults are faults, whether or not they are "better than" others.
Today I Will Remember
Shortcomings are shortcomings, even when they are "better than."