Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Good Afternoon Folks
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Took me awhile to figure out how to get back into the site.
I am not computer wise.But am back and I am going to start
posting the GA Reflection for the Day again and hope to catch
up with my old recovery friends and to meet some new people.
If you are interested I visit a new site called Gamtalk that is run
out of Montreal Canada and it has 24/7 chat room and on Friday
at 3pm est we have a group Topic Session.Today's topic is Step 9.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG
March 22 Reflection for the Day
Once in a great while, I find myself thinking perhaps things werent quite so bad as they seemed to be. At such moments, I force myself to realize that my illness is talking to me, trying to tempt me into denying that I am, in fact, afflicted with an illness. One of the key action steps of the Gamblers Anonymous Program is that we give our illness to God, as we understand Him, accepting our powerlessness in the face of His greater Power.
Do I believe that the grace of God can do for me what I could never do for myself?
Today I Pray
May I know that much of our lives depends on faith. For we cannot know the limits of space and time or explain the mysteries of life and death. But when we see God working through us and through others who have found new life in the GA Program it is all the evidence we need to know that God exists.
Today I will Remember
The Big Wheel runs by faith.
Though I have prayed at various times in my life, I realized after several months in Gamblers Anonymous that Id never really prayed properly. Id always tried to make deals with God, much like a foxhole atheist; Id always pleaded, "Grant me my wishes," instead of "Thy will-not mine-be done." The result was that I remained self-deceived and was thus incapable of receiving enough grace to restore me to a saner way of life.
Do I see that, in the past, when I prayed to God, I usually asked that two and two not make four?
Today I Pray
May I look back and review how I have prayed before, for specific solutions that I , from my earthly vantage, felt were best. May I question, in the longer view of time, whether those solutions would have been right had God chosen to do things my way. In retrospect, may I see that my pleas were not always so wise. May I be content to trust God.
Today I Will Remember
God may not do it my way.
Were often told that compulsive gamblers are perfectionists, impatient about any shortcomings-especially our own. We tend to set impossible goals for ourselves, struggling fiercely to reach our unattainable ideals. Then of course-since no person could possible meet the extremely high standards we demand of ourselves-we find ourselves falling short. Discouragement and depression set in; we angrily punish ourselves for being less than superhuman. The next time around, rather than setting more realistic goals we set them even higher. And we fall farther, then punish ourselves more severely.
Isnt it about time I stopped setting unattainable goals for myself, as well as for those around me?
Today I Pray
May God temper my own image of myself as a superperson. May I settle for less than perfection from myself, as well as from others. For only God is perfect, and I am limited by being human.
Today I Will Remember
I am not God; I am only human.
As practicing compulsive gamblers, we were all too familiar with depression, that pile-up of dark feelings that seemed to close over our heads at regular intervals. Even now, when I am not making progress at the rate I expect I should be, when I expect a total turnaround in my spiritual self overnight, those familiar feelings of gloom can come calling on me again, if I hold the door open for them.
Do I recognize that my goals of perfection are directly related to my feeling of depression? Do I admit that depression today, in my recovery, is less debilitating and more within my power to change?
Today I Pray
When I am immobilized by depression, may I set small, reasonable goals - as miniature perhaps as saying hello to a child, washing my own coffee cup, neatening my desk, offering a short prayer. May I scrap my own script for failure, which sets me up for deeper depression.
Today I Will Remember
Goals set too high set me back.
"If youre not all right the way you are," its been said, "it takes a lot of effort to get better. Realize youre all right the way you are, and youll get better naturally." Realize you're all right the way you are, and you'll get better naturally. Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation so difficult that it seems insoluble. The more we think about it, the more we get on our own backs for our imagined inadequacy to overcome the situation - and we sink into depression. Thats the moment to recall a single phrase, slogan, or bit of philosophy, saying it over and over until it replaces thoughts of the tormenting problem - which, in the final analysis will take care of itself.
Do I sometimes forget that the thorns have roses?
Today I Pray
May I see that God gives us patterns so that we can take comfort in opposites - day follows night; silence follows din; love follows loneliness; release follows suffering. If I am ineffectual, may I realize it and try to do something constructive. If I am insensitive, may my friends confront me into greater sensitivity.
Today I Will Remember
Clouds have linings. Problems have endings.
We are told that no situation is hopeless. At first, of course, we find this hard to believe. The opposites - hope and despair - are human emotional attitudes. It is we who are hopeless, not the condition of our lives. When we give up hope and become depressed, it's because we're unable, for now, to believe in the possibility of a change for the better.
Can I accept this: "Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it's faced"?
Today I Pray
May I remember that, because I am human and can make choices, I am never "hopeless." Only the situation I find myself in may seem hopeless, which may reduce me to a state of helpless depression as I see my choices being blocked off. May I remember, too, that even when I see no solution, I can choose to ask God's help.
Today I Will Remember
I can choose not to be hopeless.
The longer I'm in the Gamblers Anonymous Program and the longer I try to practice its principles in all my affairs, the less frequently I become morose and depressed. Perhaps, too, there's something to that cynical old saying, Blessed is he that expected nothing, for he shall not be disappointed, but instead will be delighted daily by new and fresh evidence of the love of God and the friendliness of men and women."
Does someone, somewhere, need me today? Will I look for that person and try to share what I've been given in the GA program?
Today I Pray
May I be utterly grateful to God for lifting my depression. May I know that my depression will always lighten if I do not expect too much. May I know that the warmth of friends can fill the cold hollow of despair. May I give my warmth to someone else.
Today I Will Remember
To look for someone to share with.
SEPTEMBER 10 Reflection for the Day
Years ago, Dr. Alfred Adler prescribed this remedy for depression to a patient: "You can be healed if every day you begin the first thing in the morning to consider how you can bring a real joy to someone else. If you can stick to this for two weeks, you will no longer need therapy." Adler's "prescription," of course is not much different from the suggestion that we work more intensively the Twelfth Step to rid ourselves of depression.
When I am depressed, do I keep my feelings to myself? Or do I do what friends in Gamblers Anonymous have suggested I do?
Today I Pray
May I turn myself inside out, air out the depression that has been closeted inside me, replace it with the comfortable feeling that I am cared about by real friends, then pass along that comfort to others caught in the same despair.
Today I Will Remember
The only real despair is loneliness - and loneliness is treatable.
One thing, more than anything else, that can relieve my occasional feeling of depression is love. I have to keep myself "lovable" in the sense of being able to love others, rather than being concerned with whether others love me. In somehow losing myself in others, emotionally or spiritually, I usually findmyself. Today I understand what they meant at my first blurry meetings of Gamblers Anonymous when they told me that I was the most important person in the room.
Do I say the same thing to other new members today, and mean it?
Today I Pray
May I know that if I can love others, without expecting to be loved back, chances are that I will receive a share of love in return. It is only my expectation of approval that cancels out the value of my love.
Today I Will Remember
Love is not an investment, but a charitable contribution.
"At certain moments," wrote Coleridge, "a single almost insignificant sorrow may, by association, bring together all the little relics of pain and discomfort, bodily and mental, that we have endured even from infancy." The Gamblers Anonymous Program doesn't teach us to pretend that hardships and sorrow are meaningless. Grief really hurts and so do others kinds of pain. But now that we're free of our compulsive gambling, we have much greater control over our thinking. And the thoughts we choose to spend time on during any given day can strongly influence the complexion of our feelings for that day.
Am I finding different and better ways of using my mind?
Today I Pray
May I thank God for the pain that magnetizes my succession of old hurts into one large one that I can take out and look at, and then discard to make room for new and present concerns. May I thank God for restoring my sensitivity to pain after the reckless numbness of my gambling days.
Today I Will Remember
I can thank God for restoring my feelings.
We hear often in our Gamblers Anonymous meetings that pain is the touchstone of spiritual progress. We eventually realize that, just as the pains of compulsive gambling had to come before our abstinence, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. We no longer commiserate with all people who suffer, but only with those who suffer in ignorance - those who don't understand the purpose and ultimate utility of pain. In Proust's words, "To goodness and wisdom we make only promises; pain we obey."
Do I believe that pain is God's way of trying to get my attention?
Today I Pray
May I understand the value of pain in my life, especially if I am headed breakneck down a track of self-destruction. May I know that pain is God's way of flagging down the train I'm on before it gets to a bridge wash-out. May I be thankful that pain forced me to throw the switch in time.
Today I Will Remember
Pain saves lives
SEPTEMBER 14 Reflection for the Day
Until we came to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, our lives had been spent running from pain and problems. Escape by way of compulsive gambling was always our temporary solution. Then we started going to meetings. We looked and listened, often with amazement. Everywhere around us, we saw failure and misery transformed by humility into priceless assets. To those who've made progress in the GA Program of Recovery, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who we really are - followed by a sincere attempt to become what we can be.
Is the GA Program showing me what I can be?
Today I Pray
I pray for humility, which is another word for perspective, a level look at the real me and where I stand in relation to God and other people. May I be grateful to humility: it is the processing plant through which my raw hurts and delusions are refined into new courage and sensitivities.
Today I Will Remember
Humility restores my "sight."
No one welcomes pain with open arms, but it does have its uses. Just as physical pain serves as a warning that we may be suffering a bodily illness, so can emotional pain be a useful sign that something is wrong - as well as a warning that we need to make a change. When we can meet pain without panic, we can learn to deal with the cause of the hurt, rather than running away.
Can I bear some emotional discomfort? Am I less fragile than I once believed?
Today I Pray
I pray I may be better able to face hurt or pain, now that I am getting to know reality - good and bad. I sincerely pray that my tendency to be supersensitive will disappear, that people will not feel they must treat me like blown glass, which could shatter at a puff of criticism.
Today I Will Remember
Throw away my stamp: "Fragile - Handle with Care."
We learn from others in Gamblers Anonymous that the best way to deal with painful situations is to meet them head on, to deal with them honestly and realistically, and to try to learn from them and use them as springboards for growth. Through the GA Program and our contact with a Higher Power, we can find the courage to use pain for triumphant growth.
Will I believe that whatever pain I experience is a small price to pay for the joy of becoming the person I was meant to be?
Today I Pray
May my Higher Power give me the courage I need to stop running away from painful situations. If I once used gambling as an escape hatch from pain, may I be very aware that gambling itself became the pain, from which there was no escape until I found the GA Program. Now, may I face pain - past and present - and learn from it.
Today I Will Remember
Gambling: first a trap door, then a trap.
When I see new members come into Gamblers Anonymous, I am reminded first of the pain and the unmanageable mess I found myself in, and then the hope I felt once I became willing to accept the Gamblers Anonymous Program. When I see and hear the Old Timers, some with twenty years or more in GA, I am reminded that, if I am to continue to recover, I need to make this Program part of my daily life. Although I cannot forget yesterday, TODAY must be my main focus.
Do I know that if I make the GA Program part of my life today, I need not worry about the future or be burdened with regrets from the past?
Today I Pray
Make me doubly willing - to share my experiences with new members and to listen to those more experienced than I. Newcomers and Old Timers both offer me valuable lessons, if I will just listen and learn. Help me to learn more so that I may offer more.
Today I Will Remember
A good teacher remains teachable.
In every story we hear from others in Gamblers Anonymous, pain has been the price of admission into a new life. But our admission price purchased far more than we expected. It led us to a degree of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain. And, in time, we began to fear pain less, and desire humility more than ever.
Am I learning to "sit loosely in the saddle," making the most of what comes and the least of what goes?
Today I Pray
If Gods plan for us is spiritual growth, a closer alliance with His principles of what is good and what is true, then may I believe that all my experiences have added up to a new and improved me. May I not fear the lessons of pain. May I know that I must continue to grow through pain, as well as joy.
Today I Will Remember
I hurt; therefore I am.
Its still not exactly a "piece of cake" for me to accept todays occasional pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity, but Im increasingly able to be thankful for a certain amount of pain. In the Gamblers Anonymous Program, we find the willingness to do this by going over the lessons learned from past sufferings - lessons which have led to the blessings we now enjoy. We can remember how the agonies of our gambling days - and the pain of rebellion and bruised pride - have often led us to Gods grace, and thus to new freedom.
Have I thanked my Higher Power for the miracle of my life this day?
Today I Pray
When I was helpless, I asked God for help. When I was hopeless, I reached out for His hope. When I was powerless over my compulsive gambling, I asked to share His power. Now I can honestly thank God that I was helpless, hopeless, and powerless, because I have seen a miracle.
Today I Will Remember
From powerless highs and lows to a Higher Power.
SEPTEMBER 20 Reflection for the Day
"When a man has reached a condition in which he believed that a thing must happen when he does not wish it, and that which he wishes to happen can never be, this is really the state called desperation," wrote Schopenhauer. The very real pain of emotional difficulties is sometimes very hard to take while were trying to maintain abstinence. Yet we learn, in time, that overcoming such problems is the real test of the Gamblers Anonymous way of living.
Do I believe that adversity gives me more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success?
Today I Pray
May I believe firmly that God, in His infinite wisdom, does not send me those occasional moments of emotional stress in order to tease my abstinence, but to challenge me to grow in my control and my conviction. May I learn not to be afraid of emotional summits and canyons, for the Gamblers Anonymous Program has outfitted me for all kinds of terrain.
Today I Will Remember
Strength through adversity.