Ok, because you are the girlfriend that PO is probably going to avoid you. If you were married you might have more leverage, although even then the POs in WI are pretty tough and are not above breaking up a family or married couple.

You boyfriend made a mistake under the rules of supervision which are so much shorter than they used to be. It doesn't sound like you are a chaperone for him either, something that when the PO does start talking to him you should look into.

You see they look at you as a corruptor of their offender. You keep wine in your fridge within easy access of the offender that is under a 'no drink' rule I am sure. They see that as you giving a finger to their rules, remember until he is off supervision, the DCC (Department of Community Corrections) OWNS him.

So you ask what can you do in a system that appears to always work against you. First of all your boyfriend is the one that needs to make all the moves. It was his dishonesty to his PO on a Polygraph that started this. Now granted your location in the state of Wisconsin will greatly influence how they will handle him and you together. If you are in the areas that encompass from Green Bay to Milwaukee then from Milwaukee to La Crosse, then things will be more difficult than if you were live in let's say Wausau, WI. He has to earn her trust back, so do you for that matter, the benign things we see, such as the wine in the fridge, are considered gateway activities to more sinister behavior.

I don't know what you are saying in your messages to the PO, but if they were to include some of the reforms that you are making in order to be taking off the 'no see' list, that might help. Also ask your boyfriend to inquire about the same, see what they say and if they will offer any plan of action to lift the moratorium on the two of you.

But you must remember, that those POs OWN that boy of yours, they can put him back in prison if they like, and in the meantime while they are making enough violations to warrant sending him back to prison, it will disrupt your lives considerably. Their rules are not to be bent or broken because of the power they wield and believe me i know how hard it is to not try to buck their system. I tried, they told me that my husband didn't need to come home to his house. They could put him anywhere that they liked. Which they could, and I could fight it in court, which takes time and money, when all I want is him home now. It is about making choices to have them around not being right in the eyes of the world.

I am in Wisconsin too, so I get the frustration you are experiencing.

Thank you. We are based out of Fond du Lac county. Do you have any suggestions as to what we can do or say to help us in this matter?

Okay, is it just me or are we living in crazy-land? He went golfing? So what? Where is it in his conditions that he can't be at a golf course. Golf courses are not necessarily places where children congregate. Public parks, yes. Golf courses? I don't think so.

Secondly, any decent restaurant serves alcohol. Does that mean he should be barred from going to the Olive Garden? Maybe it's just me, but this PO sounds like he/she has an ax to grind.

Golfing is a healthy adult activity that any good treatment provider would recommend for healthy reintegration back into a community? And this PO wants to violate your boyfriend based on that fact? Outrageous!!!

And one last thing, my understanding is one can't be violated for failing a polygraph since that isn't of evidentiary value. They are not admissible in court. Am I wrong? They can keep making someone retake it over and over again until they pass, impose more stringent conditions but I didn't think you could be violated for failing as the results are not 100% accurate. Someone please correct me if I am wrong.

There is more to this story. Either your boyfriend isnt telling you, or his mom isnt. Who you going to believe?

So where to now?

There is a reason why his PO now has a no contact with you. Contrary to other beliefs.....heshe probably has good reason.

Your best bet is to go directly to his PO. You say she is not returning calls? Then how about going to the PO's office or speaking to their supervisor?

Let me know how it goes. Sometimes a person needs to navigate the system. I can guarantee you i can find out.

I agree you aren't being told something. Being violated for merely being at a golf course does not make sense. And how would this probation officer know you have wine in your domicile? Did she come in and inspect? Either you are not being told everything or she (probation officer) has some ax to grind.

I forgot....if he is living with you then you have no rights. If he doesnt...she has no rights to be in your apartment.

From talking to offenders from the area there, both from Fond du lac county and Outagamie as well, the way he is treated, the privileges that he'll get will heavily depend on who is PO is. I have heard good things and I have heard horror stories.

West is right, you could go talk directly to the PO, go to the office and try to talk to them and their supervisor. Just as a warning, the supervisors have a tendency to cover more than one office so aren't always in the office when you go. So going there to talk to his PO is what'd you'd end up doing. Now because you are unable to get a return phone call so you can set an appointment you'll be just showing up, be prepared to wait, I would guess up to a couple of hours or more. Be professional, be polite and don't get upset, it will all work against you and your man. They do have the power to forbid him from seeing you at all.

As for going to the golf course, it would have to depend on whether or not it could be considered a park or where children gather. It could also be that it wasn't in the county either, that would be a violation because he left the county without permission, that is something that will get him in trouble for sure. But then again the PO makes all the rules, they can add rules to the base ones as they see fit depending on the offender.

The thing that you need to present to the PO is that if your man were to violate, you'd be the first to show up at their door with a pitchfork in hand ready to turn him in. They need to know that you won't protect him in this time of rehabilitation which will enable him to drift back into his old offending ways. This is how the POs think, so you have to come to them with their point of view in mind.

Thanks everyone. I called the office, and it turned out his agent is on vacation until Monday and thats why I wasnt getting a call back. I then asked to speak with the agent overseeing her cases until she returns. I explained who I was and why I was calling. She wasnt familer with his case but she looked it up and explained to me that since I was with him when he violated many rules, (around alcohol, went to a casino ) I am not looking out for his best interest and could be encouraging him to break rules. However, it didnt say he couldnt go to a casino.
As far as golfing, I am under the impression she would have wanted him to ask permission.
So at this point I am just waiting for her to return and hopefully meet with her and do some major ass kissing so I can see my man.. or at least get to talk to him. :(

One note I would like to add. Up until this point, his agent seemed to be very nice. He was allowed to leave county , stay overnight at my apt whenever he wanted without asking and stay up north at his cabin whenever he wanted without asking prior approval.

When it comes to the sex offences the way the DCC works is far different than if you had just run someone down, drove drunk or even murdered someone. When you have the label they want to know everywhere you go especially when it comes to recreational activities. You see if he is willing to just go to the golf course, which they see as a privilege then a safety plan should be thought about in the event that a child under the age of 18 were to show up or worse yet the victim. (mild sarcasm)

While a casino to you might be not so bad of a place, it usually has a restaurant and stuff in it. But gambling is considered an addictive activity, just like drinking and watching porn.... It is also what they would consider a 'gateway' to breaking a rule such as a no drink. With many no-drink stipulations they include even going into an establishment whose main business is the sale of adult beverages. So you can see where I am going with this I am sure. What we would see as 'not so bad' turns in to something that could send you "straight to hell!" in their book.

You are right, you are going to have to kiss some butt and show that PO that you are not an enabler and that if your man were to break the law again you would be first in line to lynch him. Yeah I know it sounds awful, but it is a necessary evil to survive the supervision 'game' with the Wisconsin DCC.

West, I know your experiences with the DCC are probably far better and different than what I have heard or experienced or maybe not... I just don't want you thinking I am bashing the DCC out of spite, because compared to many, even most, my husband's supervision time has been quite good...

How long has he been on supervision? I've seen them give offender's rope to hang themselves with then yank all privileges for what seems to be minor infractions. My guess is that he asked about all of those places first before they gave him carte blanche permission... the golf course and casino should have also been something to ask for permission.

Call me a stick in the mud, but I really am stuck on the golf course. We are not talking about putt-putt golf? There is no way in my mind that a golf course can be considered a primary place where children congregate. Yes, they can be there, but they can also be anywhere else. Makes no sense to me.

As for Wisconsin....i dont think you are bashing the DCC. You have good advice and insight.

So Idle.....do you know his rules? Have you read them? Do you trust him?

What part of the polygraph did he fail? So many questions....and alot of unanswered ones.

If all is on the up and up....my advice is this......

I would meet with his PO. I would ask what his rules are. I would convince her....that you will assist in him abiding by the rules. And also you would not hesitate to report him.

In other words.....it is called sucking up. They have more power than the police or a judge. Is it right to suck up? Sorry...lack of any better terms..... in other words do you want to help or hinder?

Unfortunately he is now a product of the system. Until things change....it is easier to go with the flow. But you need to be informed!