Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Ziggy Baitz (my dear friend from Oz, wrote this SIX years ago). I felt this SHOULD b shared.
Ziggy = Female
"Why do you suffer depression?" "I don't know, I just do."
Despite the efforts of health advocates and government initiatives to encourage awareness and understanding of mental illness, depression is still the single, most discriminated against health issue in the world today. It is a life- threatening illness, but unfortunately, not taken seriously enough.
Throughout history, people with mental illness have been hidden away in institutions, 'put away, out of sight and out of mind.' Pun intended. Even the name of these institutions has changed several times over the years to allay the fears of both sufferer and probably, to a higher degree, the general public. People branded as insane were put into the infamous mental institution, 'Bedlam,' some 100 years ago. These places have been referred to as 'loony bins,' 'lunatic asylums,' 'nut and mad houses,' mental hospitals or institutions, and with some modernisation, psychiatric hospitals and/or institutions. In the 1970s, they became known as 'acute medical' hospitals. That way, there was no indication of the type of medicine practised for the patients hidden inside.
Whatever names have been given to these places for the mentally ill, and no matter how treatments have changed, the name-calling never has. Nut-case, fruit cake, loony, loon or just plain lunatic, crazy, mad, loopy, crackers. The list goes on. Even television and radio commercials can and do advertise their upcoming sales as being 'sheer madness', using euphemisms like 'Crazy J's', or, K*n Blah 'has gone mad,' as we see him wrapped in a straight jacket, a parrot on his shoulder and patch over his crossed eye. This kind of representation continues on without a whimper of compassion for the mentally ill. Worse, they are ridiculed.
The depressive will most often be asked, 'what caused you to feel this way?' Losing a loved one, going through divorce or enduring chronic illness are just some situations that are very likely to cause depression. These depressions are natural, understood and therefore empathised with . . . as long as it goes away after a short while.
I am not referring to this kind of reactive depression, but to those who suffer endogenous depression, the kind that descends for no apparent reason, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, panic attics and other forms of mental illness that don't go away after what's considered to be a healthy amount of time. For many, it does not go away at all.
'Snap out of it,' the sufferer is told.
'Get a hobby,' is a very popular suggestion.
'Have a nice cup of tea, that will make you feel better.'
'Take a walk.'
'You need to get busy.'
'Get over it.'
'There are plenty of people worse off than you, so pull yourself out of it.'
Again, another endless list of suggestions to get you off your bum and into the real world. All the above ought to take your mind off your problems, right? Not right. If one is depressed, one cannot do these things and is lucky to be able to simply get out of bed, often for days, let alone put the kettle on to make a cup of tea.
I feel qualified to say these things having suffered severe and chronic depression for some 40 years. It's a lonely, frightening, isolating and alienating world.
Something rather wonderful happened to me four years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A life threatening illness people understand! The support was overwhelming and miraculous. When I would have a depressive episode, those around me put it down to my having cancer. I kept this little joke to myself as selfishly, I drank in the sympathy and support I had never received when depressed. I was so happy to be given the loving attention and get-well wishes.
Nobody suggested I 'snap out of it,' or 'find a hobby.' Nobody would even consider me 'taking a walk.' I was not well enough, and certainly the expectation, indeed, requirement to get in the least bit busy, or think about other people who are worse off than myself in order to 'get over it [the cancer],' was suggested. There were plenty of offers to 'have a nice cup of tea' to make me feel better, but I wasn't expected to make it myself. It was the offer of someone making me that cup of tea that had me feeling very much better, not the tea itself.
"Why did I get breast cancer"? "I don't know, I just did."
Why do I get depressed? "I don't know, I just do."
- January 2006
Ziggy = Female
"Why do you suffer depression?" "I don't know, I just do."
Despite the efforts of health advocates and government initiatives to encourage awareness and understanding of mental illness, depression is still the single, most discriminated against health issue in the world today. It is a life- threatening illness, but unfortunately, not taken seriously enough.
Throughout history, people with mental illness have been hidden away in institutions, 'put away, out of sight and out of mind.' Pun intended. Even the name of these institutions has changed several times over the years to allay the fears of both sufferer and probably, to a higher degree, the general public. People branded as insane were put into the infamous mental institution, 'Bedlam,' some 100 years ago. These places have been referred to as 'loony bins,' 'lunatic asylums,' 'nut and mad houses,' mental hospitals or institutions, and with some modernisation, psychiatric hospitals and/or institutions. In the 1970s, they became known as 'acute medical' hospitals. That way, there was no indication of the type of medicine practised for the patients hidden inside.
Whatever names have been given to these places for the mentally ill, and no matter how treatments have changed, the name-calling never has. Nut-case, fruit cake, loony, loon or just plain lunatic, crazy, mad, loopy, crackers. The list goes on. Even television and radio commercials can and do advertise their upcoming sales as being 'sheer madness', using euphemisms like 'Crazy J's', or, K*n Blah 'has gone mad,' as we see him wrapped in a straight jacket, a parrot on his shoulder and patch over his crossed eye. This kind of representation continues on without a whimper of compassion for the mentally ill. Worse, they are ridiculed.
The depressive will most often be asked, 'what caused you to feel this way?' Losing a loved one, going through divorce or enduring chronic illness are just some situations that are very likely to cause depression. These depressions are natural, understood and therefore empathised with . . . as long as it goes away after a short while.
I am not referring to this kind of reactive depression, but to those who suffer endogenous depression, the kind that descends for no apparent reason, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, anxiety, panic attics and other forms of mental illness that don't go away after what's considered to be a healthy amount of time. For many, it does not go away at all.
'Snap out of it,' the sufferer is told.
'Get a hobby,' is a very popular suggestion.
'Have a nice cup of tea, that will make you feel better.'
'Take a walk.'
'You need to get busy.'
'Get over it.'
'There are plenty of people worse off than you, so pull yourself out of it.'
Again, another endless list of suggestions to get you off your bum and into the real world. All the above ought to take your mind off your problems, right? Not right. If one is depressed, one cannot do these things and is lucky to be able to simply get out of bed, often for days, let alone put the kettle on to make a cup of tea.
I feel qualified to say these things having suffered severe and chronic depression for some 40 years. It's a lonely, frightening, isolating and alienating world.
Something rather wonderful happened to me four years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. A life threatening illness people understand! The support was overwhelming and miraculous. When I would have a depressive episode, those around me put it down to my having cancer. I kept this little joke to myself as selfishly, I drank in the sympathy and support I had never received when depressed. I was so happy to be given the loving attention and get-well wishes.
Nobody suggested I 'snap out of it,' or 'find a hobby.' Nobody would even consider me 'taking a walk.' I was not well enough, and certainly the expectation, indeed, requirement to get in the least bit busy, or think about other people who are worse off than myself in order to 'get over it [the cancer],' was suggested. There were plenty of offers to 'have a nice cup of tea' to make me feel better, but I wasn't expected to make it myself. It was the offer of someone making me that cup of tea that had me feeling very much better, not the tea itself.
"Why did I get breast cancer"? "I don't know, I just did."
Why do I get depressed? "I don't know, I just do."
- January 2006
thank you so much for sharing this
i too have suffered depression for 12 years now
and in latter years anxiety too...this came after i started to pretend i was depressed and bury it and FIGHT ON
i have never had any support
or sympathy
i have been ignored and ridiculed
by my own fucking family
who seem to actually BLAME me for it
most of the time i do not tell them or ask for their support because they use this as an excuse to shout at me
last episode things where that bad and fantasised about hanging myself for 6 months
i called the samaratins every night
i literally rocked in pain
my sister chose this moment as i hit rock bottom to bring the crescendo of her games to a head
resulting in more emotional pain for me
when my dad came to my house after this 6 month period
i had not vacuumed the carpet
he actually called me bone fucking idle
that is just how fucking thick they are
i am sorry for the language in this post
but i am very angry for all i have been through and the total lack of care and support from others
in particular my own goddam family
who treat me horribly everytime i get depressed
on many levels i hate those people for everything they ever put me through
Just want to point something out.
Person A suffers from clinical depression. Person A sits in the dark, alone, and spirals downward. Person A does this because they do not feel like doing anything else and is therefor convinced that is all they can do.
Person B suffers from clinical depression. Person B feels like sitting in the dark, alone. Person B gets up, gets dressed, straightens up their living quarters, has a nourishing breakfast, and goes out and performs their job as an auctioneer. Person B does not feel like doing these things, but they do it anyway.
Conclusion: Person A spends more time in a depressed state of mind than Person B. Person B has a better life than Person A.
Comment: That one has clinical depression is in charge of of their life is a truth. No one can fix one's depression except the depressed one. No medication or other treatment will succeed until the person insists on living .. and does so. You get out what you put in .. applies to everyone .. including the depressed.
What does bother me is the recent "trend" in ascribing the lable of mental illness to every person who happens to have a bad personality or acts irresponsibly or to every child who gets antsy in school. This really does nothing to help the cause.
Okay. trying again.
(((Hugs))), genebh, this is a much better post than the title led me to believe it would be.
For WV: My depression has lightened A LOT over the past three years. With medication, dedication, and hard work, I've come around to having much better days and nights.
Those are so good to feel. I love it when I have energy, any energy!, and my brain works almost as well as it used to; it's super-motivating, and I can push myself to do even more.
But there ARE still days and nights where the horrible, horrifying, leaden sensation creeps over me again, and I know I'm down for the count. It happens after tragic personal events, mostly, and sometimes just plain exhaustion. (And sometimes, for no plausible reason at all.)
I am basically on auto-pilot on those days...and the nights are usually hell. And GOD HELP the person who suggests I should get up and "get going", in spite of how I feel. They WILL get a hurtin'. I push myself, always to do the absolute best that I can. If I'm not moving, it's because I CAN'T.
Then, there are always the in-between days---where I get a little greyness, fog, and listlessness...but later, I may be able to push myself and find that strength to get three more loads of laundry done, do the dishes, go for groceries, make dinner, and plan the next day.
Something I always try to remember: I'll NEVER forget what the first experiences of this happening to me felt like. How frightening and paralyzing it was. How terribly alone it made me feel. How terrified I was, before I was diagnosed. Hopefully, remembering will continue to guide my humanity, and make me a better person. (If I forget what those harrowing sensations were, what that abject aloneness was like, how can I ever expect support from someone who's never gone through it?)
Volumes have been written trying to express exactly how depression makes a person feel. I know the world is not apt to flock to read things like this---unless they sense a loved one needs help (which would still make them extraordinary for wanting to do so). But I still do think there is no substitute for having gone through it yourself....
....And even THAT might not inform us (completely) of everybody's different experience with this monster.
I have stopped trying to get my family to understand what I endure. They are generally kind and intelligent people, and even they DO NOT get it. They do not want to get it. They cannot understand---it is literally beyond their sphere. They may never get it. These days, after a long time examining it from all sides, I don't blame them anymore. (I just figure life will someday hand them their own heavy burdens, and maybe then the light will break through the clouds over their tiny, pointy heads.)
And just a teensy bit more:
One encouraging aspect to all of this, is I see more and more discussion taking place all the time. Talk shows, the internet, people's general openness to new concepts...all are contributing to more widespread understanding,and hopefully, compassion. This dialogue was not possible a generation ago; let's hope it continues, and grows.
"If one is depressed, one cannot do these things and is lucky to be able to simply get out of bed, often for days, let alone put the kettle on to make a cup of tea. "
I suffer from (mostly) situational depression like you, and often get anhedonic for no reason -- and my sister does not. She'll listen for a short time, then hint I'm "wallowing in it", then tell me "why don't you get some sunlight and DO something about it?" not in a caring tone, but a "okay, this is getting annoying and tiresome" tone Sometimes I really wish I could project on her just for 10 seconds what the leadness, heaviness, lethargy, and how "getting sunlight" actually is a painful experience for me when I'm depressed. It'll get to the point where I will just end the conversation quickly because i don't want to put up with her patronizing tone. She's a bioscientist manager, and yes one could explain to her what and how my endocrine system is off-balance, but that says "how" I'm feeling the depressed feelings, not "why".
Heretic: "I have so often wished I would have an illness that would bring me sympathy, instead of one that gets me shunned." That's why i had that post about what to do when I *have* to be "on" . It's career suicide to show depressive symptoms in my line of work -- unless I write a song about it AFTER I've gone through it.
Another thing I remember about mental facility is they use to make them with high towers and change the patient to the wall at night so the moon could heal them. That is were the word lunatic came from.
And, of course all of the electric treatments, lobotomy and other horrid ways that they treated mental illness. Did I say I was glad for the medical advancement of mental illness? Yes, I am glad all I have to do today is take a few pills and life goes on.
Although, it was not all concern for the patient that brought it about. States got tired of paying for the care of bi polar, schizophrenics, depressed people and cut the budget. Mental patients were put out on the street to fin for themselves. Today, the homeless population is filled with mental patients with no way of getting help.
And, even today, if the budgets get cut, where do they start? Mental illness and social services is were they start.
Again, I am glad all I have to do today is take a few pills and work on myself. Else, I am pretty sure I would have joined the millions of homeless with mental illness or joined my grandmothers legacy to die in a mental ward. I will do what I have to do in order to avoid that.
I know what you mean about the concern. I remember once having to have a test on my heart....beginning of clot. Anyway, seemed the whole family was there. I really thought I was dying and they didn't want to tell me. lol But, my thought was, I go through physical and mental pain everyday...why is this so different. It was something they can put their finger on and blame, something they can fight.
ok, I will get off my soap box. I just enjoy learning the history of mental illness.
i have never really been on medication although i have had quite severe depression (and dont say oh God your depression cant have been that bad because you have no idea what hell I have been through for years)
but like the wandering vet has said
i got up went to work
ate good foods
went to the gym
and just generally did it all in pain
so it hasnt actually held me back it all
but man it has been so tough
now i finally am on medication
and i am still living but it just hurts a little less
why do I get depressed?
i have no idea
good comment wondering vet
love it x
Suddenly everyone thinks you have a reaon to be depressed. Its ok to feel like that, after all look at what your going through. what they fail to see is that i have been going through depression nearly the whole of my life, and the same support was allways needed.
But thanks for bringing attentin to this
Beem
Now I dont want to get involved in a heated debate about the industry that makes billions from either prescribing drugs or countless types of therapy etc... I dont for one minute doubt meds and therapy has helped countless people on here.. But for people who just have depression for no obvious reason I think therapy can be a dangerous thing...I have spent lots of money on therapy over the years and been analyzed to hell and back. Looking back now I honestly think it messed me up even more.. *This is only my own personal opinion btw*
Now getting onto the stigma debate around depression or any other mental illness for that matter.. Yes I agree media and society have shaped how we view people living with any type of mental illness..I think the same could be said about a person living with a disability. Our son is Autistic and the amount of times I've been out with him and had odd looks or nasty comments from ignorant people is unbelievable..Thankfully people are out there who understand and I've had many positive outcomes.. Sorry kind of got side tracked there...lol.
Depression runs through many generations of my family and I've come to accept it's just how it is for me..I will always have to work extra hard to manage it. I've been down the meds and therapy route for teh best part of 20 years. Didn't work for me personally and in some cases it made things a whole lot worse.
Great post gene ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))
Peace,love and understanding x