Hope..your opening line is in itself a contradiction:

#52..........it is very upsetting to me when someone gets banned. unless of course they are a troll.

ONLY a "troll" is banned. In the eyes of DS members, once they ban someone that someone becomes a Troll......so if DS hadn't "banned" them in the first place , they wouldn't be a Troll:(

They would just be a person posting.......like the rest of us...not always agreeing with what everyone says and sometimes expressing those feelings.

Ignore them, like everyone says........but once ya ban them, they become a troll if they come back...........and now they are angry.....its not a winning situation:(

Vet......Post #51................I feel for you and so should everyone here. It has got to be a tough job being a CL..wearing that big CL on your avi all the time.:(

I was both a Founder and and Admin of a few groups.. Its a royal pain in the butt!!!! All the members want, expect YOU to fix any and everything that ails them. They don't like what Suzy or Joe says and you as Founder/Admin should fix that..........BS, I say..............Fix it yourself.....IGNORE it.....go to another group for a day or two........go walk in the park.

Don't expect the CL to "fix" it for you. What if 10 members want it fixed one way and 10 other members want it fixed a different way?? Which way do ya go??

No thanks!! I got GREAT admiration for CL's................for an unpaid job on DS they must certainly have their hands full:(:( A "job" most of us wouldn't even want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Vet is worth his weight in gold in that respect and I am not even a member of any of his groups.........but I know he is always there to help........and he is always here to lend a hand.

My hat goes off to him:):):)

I think it hurts the 'jerks' more to be ignored than to be banned. There is no 'fix' for being ignored. Getting banned just means a new email address. IGNORE .. the action and the button is pretty powerful.

thank you for the kind words. thank you very much.

I was reading this thread last night and I had an idea. Since DS has a new owner and the people who bought DS, Doctor Oz and Oprah are caring people. People who believe in second chances. Why doesn't DS declare amnesty to all the BFL's? { Banned For Lifer's } Give them a chance to show that people can change.

I think debbear said it best, truer words were never spoken on DS.

"Imagine going to a NA or AA meeting and falling off the wagon and being told you can NEVER come back??? Ya had a drink of Hat's Hooch............and now you are banned for any kind of support here for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!"

Locking someone in need of help out of DS, does that sound like the behavior of a support group? Why would anyone come here unless they need help?

So DS tries my idea and some of the BFL's come back and are good members and get the support they need. Isn't that what DS is about. Even if one of the BFL's changed and received the support they needed and became a good member, isn't that what DS is about?

The BFL system here at DS is broke and needs to be fixed. That's my opinion. "Change we must or die we will".

Somewhere along the line, we have forgotten about taking responsibility for our own actions. People are not banned just because DS scans the boards and picks and chooses. Someone is obviously being abused or offended by the offender and reports them just as they are told to. Hence, action is taken. This isnt DS's fault that the person is banned, it is the person commiting the violation.

I agree it is difficult in some cases where the banned is not told why. It is difficult to learn what NOT to do. However, many times, the banned is fully aware of what they have done, especially if they read the TOS and ROR. It is pretty clear what the reasons are for being banned.

I think it is very important to share and express your views about the procedures for banning and make sure that DS is aware that maybe things could be done differently.

It is very clear when we sign on what we are agreeing to. If we do our best to abide by that, we would not have to even discuss changing anything. Again, I realize the system isnt perfect as some innocent people get caught in the cross fire, but no system is perfect.

That can be a problem Kid, I have seen people do just that and it starts the whole group in. It is hard to control that approach completely as new members are coming in all the time. This is also stated, I believe, in the ROR if not in the "welcome" sub groups. However, I dont expect all will read it as many dont read the TOS or ROR.

meant to add....I still believe it is the only sound way to defuse a troll.

How dare you.....Shelly is giving her spare time freely to help keep this place safe and sound. You call yourself a troll....well, you could be any number of trolls from the bp group, which it sounds like you are from.
Please look down and see that you are promising to be nice....this post you wrote was definitely NOT NICE!

Thanks Bobbi.....Meet one of my friends that would never ignore me Focus, nor would I ignore her.

I do get where you are coming from about the fact that you did not feel you could control your behavior because of a medical issue, so you feel it is not fair that you were banned. While that may seem true for you, what about the many people you were hurting with your behavior? Should DS ignore those people being hurt?

If I put myself in both places, I get it, I understand. But I think the part DS plays is to protect the majority of members. I do not believe someone should be banned because they are manic, but if several people are being hurt and are reporting such, then what other option would you suggest?

Maybe I am just missing something here, but it seems to me that people are missing the whole point of being a support group. I am in many groups, because of multiple interests and illnesses. Anyone who has a clue about bipolar disorder, realizes that sometimes some of the posts are when people are not in their right mind. So we are banning people who make posts because of their illness? So how does that support them?

I believe in positive reinforcement, and in discipline. But as a teacher, I don't see DS as a school of any sort, with part of it's goal to teach people to be "nice". In one of my interest groups we had severe conflict. I finally realized that really the bipolar group was a lot nicer. It took a lot to work it out, and some people were hurt, ignored, left, and then came back. But we did work it out, without any leadership to lay down laws. (There was some leadership, but they preferred not to ban or close/ delete posts). I think I was most upset that Fionapip was banned, and not told why. I believe Lou2 was also banned. It was pretty obvious to me, that Lou did lose it slightly, but she was under a lot of stress at the time, being stranded in Paris (I know, no pity from me either!). At least Marion was able to get a message out, and I have contacted her on FB. Lou has never answered my messages. I don't know if she is banned, or just gave up or committed suicide.

I think we need bipolar CL's because I would hope the understand that bipolar is not NICE! In fact, I don't know of any diseases that are. We are all imperfect people living in a fallen world. Banning trolls, not that I have ever seen more than one might be acceptable. But not banning people who are dedicated members of the group, and contributors. We are all in this together. Who decided who is a troll? Usually they are gone before they can be identified? Long time members should not be banned because they have an "episode". Is anyone listening, or is this just about personalities?

I hear you Angela and I agree.....Lou or plukk are not banned, they are temporarily suspended and I am sure they both know why. I understand about stress and how that can set us off but how do we choose the abusive person over the person being abused? Do we tell the abused to leave or take a break? The damage had been done so putting on ignore wasnt possible. Actually it would not have been possible anyway for other reasons.

Fiona is not banned, she is taking a break on her own at this time. Prior to this, she knew why she was banned but obviously chose not to disclose it. This is also a problem as I believe many people know why they are banned but choose not to disclose which is their choice.

I believe this is a very viable and constructive support site. I also believe that we have to stop blaming everyone else for things that you said we can solve ourselves.

I think the most important part of a support site is that the majority feels safe and to do that we have to be willing to protect each other but also protect each other from the abuse of one or two for whatever reason.

backtracking...deadbear, u said my opening line was a contradiction. regarding trolls? i beleive this is me possibly misunderstanding the defintion of a troll. so please forgive me.

i thought a troll was someone who has created an account for the shear purpose of disruption. not someone who has been a contributing member that has then had a confrontation or upset someone.

and ironcially i reposted what i said from elsewhere at the request of another because they liked what i said. shows its all in the eye of the beholder, and often just a misunderstanding.

this is making me tired.

Geesh, it throws everything off when posts are deleted because then some others dont make sense and might be taken the wrong way. Just want people to know that some posts are gone in between.

Angela, you gave me an idea....(just in case DS is listening). The CL's in any group know everyone well and maybe DS should ask THEM before banning someone. In our case, the CL would recognize a manic situation and be able to advise DS that this was part of the disorder and will stop soon.
And I just have to say (one more time) that I got two warning notices because of the now permanently banned person that kept reporting me for anything and everything. After 2 warning letters, I was soooooo on top of every word I said. And there was absolutely zero reason to suspend me.
Finally, I hate discord as much as the next person, but if there is any possibility that DS might listen and take appropriate measures, then it's well worth the aggravation.

Geez, this sucks. The posts I was replying to earlier are totally gone now. And everyone referring to post # whatever are wrong.
Not helpful DS.