Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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UPDATE 5 YEARS LATER. 4/15/2022 Go to last post.
Need to vent. My wife and I have been together a total of 12 years, 7 married. We seemed to be doing fine, taking trips, having intamicy, and talking about our future together. Then something changed. One and a half weeks before Easter she pulls me in the room and tells me she's no longer in love and there's something missing between us and she wants a separation. Of course I was shocked and I did all the wrong things like begging, saying I will do whatever she wants, writing her letters and so on. Well on Easter I logged into the phone bill and see that she has been calling the same number and texting for about a month very frequently and multiple times daily. I asked her and she admits that she has been talking to a boyfriend that she dated 26 years ago when she was 21 and now she has feelings for him. He got her number from a mutual friend. This guy asked her to marry him back then and she said no and then married her ex-husband. During their marriage this guy contacted her. She said she was married and that was that. Her marriage went downhill and her ex-husband cheated and so on and she ended up divorced. I think she had got it in her head that if she would've married this guy she would've had some kind of a perfect life. Me and her met after that and we grew together and had a great relationship and marriage. Her whole basis for falling for this guy now is "He never forgot about me" or "he never stopped looking for me." Sounds like some kind of high school girl when she talks, definitely not the 47-year-old that she is. This scumbag is a divorced father of three and an ex LAPD cop. I think he might've been fired. My wife has always been a little gullible and very easily manipulated and this guy obviously has manipulated her and she allowed it. One of the first things he asked her is "are you 100% happy in your marriage" and she said "not 100%." Of course he immediately started telling her everything she wants to hear and suddenly I mean nothing anymore. We are still in the same house and she acts like she doesn't even know me and it's extremely awkward and hurtful but I'm trying to take care of myself and her kids whom I've raised with her. They are both extremely upset and hurt. They were one and a half years old and six years old when I met them and now they are 13 and 18. She's been trying to manipulate and bribe the 13-year-old by telling him this guy wants to take him fishing and take him to a Bears versus Panthers game to which he replied that he is not going with her and going to move in with his biological father. It's very sad because this is completely out of character for her. She has always been an excellent mom and would've looked down on this behavior anytime before this. Not sure if she's going through some kind of midlife crisis but anyway I know what I have to do at this point. Thanks for reading this.
I'm feeling it right now.
Hopefully she'll look in the mirror and decide to give counseling a try for her own well-being.
Good luck cm
I'm feeling it right now.
Hopefully she'll look in the mirror and decide to give counseling a try for her own well-being.
Good luck cm
What? For her own good?
He's her daddy now?
First of all I don't know what their arrangement is as far as money's concerned. but you can't extort someone into staying, obeying your will or loving you
For her own good? WTF, she's a grown woman.
One of the most outrageous things I've heard here
You deserve a healthy relationship and strife free life
People advised me that he will have a change of heart once I file, that he will regret his actions, that he will see the error of his ways. Nope, he's still plugging away the same way, like I don't exist, still in the same house, post divorce, still feeding the same bs lines, still trying to have it all his way, no compromise. Once I filed, I just knew he would not change, and I saved myself a ton of heartbreak not wishing and hoping that he would. I had heartbreak for years prior to filing for divorce, I'd had enough of it.
People who are so checked out, like my ex and this poster's stbx, don't usually check in without a boatload of work on themselves. And they usually don't do the work. Look at their actions and their inactions. She's done nothing in support of the failing marriage. This is the end. The writing is on the wall. CM71 has a ton of hard work to do for himself, and the complications of figuring how he would like to manage parenting/co-parenting her two children. He's moving on and I commend him for having the courage to do so. I'll tell you this, getting "this show on the road" can take a hell of a lot longer than you want, so get busy now. Don't allow her to delay any longer, as much as it is within your abilities.
really good man. Keep your head up, divorce care
and therapy really do help.
When they are checked out and disconnected they
are done some might not admit it but they are. They
Are in affair fog and have their new partner waiting for
Them giving them courage.
My ex had no remorse or concern for me, it was all
About him and his wants, needs, desires and his new
Life ahead, HUGS