Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So, my ex broke up with me 4 months ago. If you've seen my other posts, you'll see I cried, begged, looked pathetic, etc. Well, after 4 months of me being the only one to initiate any type of contact (other than a like on instagram), he texted me on Tuesday. It wasn't a romantic text, rather it was just about "The Voice" and what I thought of the season. What could him suddenly initiating contact mean? A few weeks ago I told him I love him, and he told me that he's seeing someone else and he became pretty cold honestly, so I stopped initiating contact and left him alone (not even a like on insta). But now I'm confused. I didn't reply to his text message until the next day and I just said I havent had a moment to watch. He replied and said that he's pleased with how it ended. Now, I know this is small, but what could this mean? Why is he suddenly trying to reopen the lines of communication after being SO cold and telling me he's seeing someone? He literally said in our last call that he was going to give me space to heal from this. The crazy thing is I went on my FIRST date since the breakup on the same day he texted me. It's like he knew I was close to moving on, and now I'm back to sitting here wondering what all of this means. Ugh. It drives me nuts because I do truly think he's the one for me...and he's freaking perfect. He's literally like a blonde Pete Buttigieg. But it seems like he's trying to keep me in his back pocket, and I'm nobody's second choice. My therapist and literally everyone else tells me I need to completely delete him from my life (social media, phone number, etc), but I'm scared to do that because I opened up to him in ways that I've never opened up to anyone, and I don't want to burn that bridge and lose him completely. But, this does seem a tiny bit manipulative on his part (especially when he sends smiley faces in his messages *rolls my eyes*). At this moment, I've gotten to the point where I will not initiate any contact with him, so that ball is in his court. But, what do you all think I should do? I honestly can't believe I even freaking replied to his message...
And sorry everyone - I feel like I've been posting a lot, but you all have really been helping me. Thank you all so much for taking the time to leave a comment. I appreciate it more than you know.
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My best friend ruined my day with her immature, bitchy self. If she doesn't get her way, she has a tizzy fit. I told her weeks ago that I couildn't go to yard sales with her on 9/12 because i have a hair appointment. She wasn't happy. I also told her that I don't have any money to go to yard sales. She tried to talk me into going to more yard sales by saying that if I don't go, there...
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The Friday before Labor Day just before we left, the options given to me basically were either quit of be fired, and if I were to stay on I were to be put on an improvement plan, which is pretty much synonymous with getting fired. I was going to do the improvement plan and just ride it out until I found another job due to money and due to the fact that I did not want to quit without another job....
I guess he just wants to be friends. But that might be hard on you, seeing as you have strong romantic feelings for him. The text about The Voice did NOT mean he is now interested in a relationship, wants to date you, etc. Sorry for being harsh, but the text meant nothing really. He probably was just excited about the finale and wanted to talk about it with several people.
The problem with breakups is we tend to "read" into every little thing. Things that are nothing. I have done that too. I think it's best for your mental health to keep moving on with your life. If he ever wants to pursue something with you, he will let you know. In the meanwhile, don't wait around.
That’s what we girls / females tend to do we like to make things up in our minds about scenarios it could and might be, but really guys are pretty simple creatures.
He might have been bored or lonely ‘at that very moment’ he wanted to chat to someone and knew you’d reply. But moments like that are just moments, and they come and go.
You sounded like you were doing well. You were working on you and staring to love you again and not him if that makes sense, even if I’m baby steps but making a date is a great step.
Continue to do that. Get yourself meeting new and interesting people. Some will be great some won’t be that’s all part of the process, and it will be exactly what you need!
Time heals it truly does and there will come a time that all those things you thought were perfect about him, that you thought made him the one not seem so strong because your meeting new potentials that your clicking with and intriguing you.