Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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Therapist

Alexa987
Alexa987

I recently started to see a therapist which I never done in my life, I don't know how it's supposed to be but I feel all that she does(my therapist) is: well if I was you  I wouldn't do this or that instead of giving me tips or ideas of how to strength myself and overcome the situation. I've seen her 3 times and just feel like I'm talking to my friend instead of a professional.


How's your therapist? 

GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I'm glad that you are talking to a therapist. I talk to one for my anxiety.

Each therapist has a different "style". Has she said anything that has been helpful for you, insightful?

I usually start my therapy session telling the therapist that - this is what I would like to talk about today -.
Alexa987
Alexa987
Out of these 3 sessions maybe one or two things and they're more like confirmations, I don't know I'll probably give her a couple more sessions see what happens.
livenlearn
livenlearn
I have done a ton of counseling! Therapists are like any other profession...there are some really good ones and some, well, not so good ones. I am a male and feel that, for me, female therapists have been more helpful. I think it is important to get a perspective thats rooted in a different way of thinking than how I think (like a man, duh!). But, I had a therapist who I went to two appts with and I knew I was going to backwards with that person. So, you have to find a therapist you like. Don't keep going to someone who is wasting your time. And I like the input of GirlinCalif that you need to go into the appointment with a good plan as to what you want to get off your chest. A good therapist will ask leading questions and let you kind of figure it out for yourself. But, the proper leading questions can make all the difference! Stick with it, but maybe with a different therapist.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Adding to what I wrote above, do you go in and start talking right away or do you wait for her to lead the session?

For me, I have certain things that are currently bugging me and I want to discuss, so I prioritize beforehand, which things I would really like my therapist's input on. I figure out how many things we can cover in a 50 minute session. Then I start with my most important thing that is bugging me.

This is what works for me. There is no right or wrong way to do therapy. Like @livenlearn said, I also went through 3 therapists before finding the right one.

Keep it up, you're doing great!
Alexa987
Alexa987
Thank you both, yeah I think I'll try to get a different therapist just to see if maybe I'm wrong for expecting someone else to fix my problems with a magic wand, also she's the only one doing in-person sessions which for me is a big deal.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
Therapists don't fix your problems. They guide you with questions and statements to thinking of the way you can fix yourself.

One idea is you could see her one last time and express your concerns, like you're telling us. That you expected this this and this from therapy and is that going to be possible with her. Maybe she doesn't even know that is what you are looking for. It's up to you though, if you want to give her a chance.

Or sure, you can go to another therapist and see the difference in the new one, compared to this one. I have found every therapist I had to be so different. Maybe one style works better for you than another one.

I hope either way, you find the right therapist for you. Don't give up.
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