I'm in the same predicament. I don't know how to get myself to move on even though I know it's for the best. It doesn't help that my partner continues to get in my head

That's really incredible that you can come to that mature understanding and move forward. Many of us spend years trying to change ourselves or our partners and we just end up wasting time.

My best friend is on her second marriage. He didn't turn out to be someone who "got" her. She did have a child with him and is staying to have the 2 parent home she wanted for her son.

However, this comes at a price. She realizes she is emotionally neglected - and as a sensitive, thinking person not being able to share that aspect of yourself with the closest human you chose to spend the rest of your life with is very empty feeling.

Never abandon yourself.

Sending you light and love!

lavender80 thank you for your kind and supportive words—the very reason I searched for this group and joined. I was definitely wanting my partner to be someone he wasn’t and in the process I didn’t realize that I was not being my authentic self. I’m beginning to learn now how to handle loneliness in heathy ways that serve and strengthen me and I think that will help in the future to listen and trust my gut feeling that tells me when something or someone is right or not for me. It feels good to be growing from the experience and finally moving forward. Being with the wrong partner just felt like being stuck to me. Not dealing well with loneliness wasn’t being addressed so I was stuck there too. I’m grateful for the support here. Thank you

Hi Joyous---

It is always so difficult to make a change and a bold move but you should be proud of yourself for making it happen. I always advocate for those that are married to figure out a way to make it work, but it does not sound like you are so it is easier in some ways to move forward and on. I hope that you can both stay friends and find much happiness in the future. God Bless.

So, get this...I just realized (again) that I am a textbook love addict and my former partner is a textbook love avoidant. This is the typical combination in relationship or 'love' addiction. Even though I have studied this subject before, quite extensively, I guess it all went out the window when I got back with my now ex-significant other. We have had so many break-ups I lost count a few years ago. We re-united back in January of this year after 6 months apart, during which I was very relieved that the relationship was over. I truly thought I had moved on and although it was difficult, I was making it through one day at a time. I can't say I was happy overall, because I still had a big problem being alone. Now I can look back and see that in fact, we were both in a class together, held online on Zoom and during the last class in December, he shared that he had spent every Christmas and holiday alone for the last 8 years. When I heard him say that, it activated guilt in me, because I had been the one to end things with him each time we broke up and it frequently seemed to happen right at the beginning of fall and right before holiday season. I remember that feeling of sadness as I heard him speak (he had no emotion as he spoke) and how my heart directed me to reach out to him. I thought that I just had a need to let him know that I too suffered from loneliness and sadness, especially at holiday time. My compassion centers were wide open and I wanted him to know that I understood how he felt (more accurately, how I thought he felt). Now that I am reacquainting myself with how love addiction works, I can so clearly see, that had I been aware, I would have recognized that having an urge or feeling compelled to contact him, was simply the love addiction, sort of like a sober recovering alcoholic, finding himself thinking about having a drink, then actually taking that drink. With us, one conversation of course led to another and within weeks we were back together in the relationship or better stated -- the addiction. The euphoria was right there at the beginning as always. We had such high hopes and again, this is typical of love addiction. Then the pattern begins of one partner moving closer and the other, moving away, distancing himself and ultimately, the pain of disconnection, driving me to end it again. So, this is not only a break up, it is a break through for me. I still have the grieving process to go through but I also have withdrawal to go through and I am. I have no doubt that I will get through this and be the healthiest I have ever been. It will take time and I am eternally grateful for this forum. I would love to find a support group for love addiction. I have searched online but so far, haven't found any. Again, I want to say thank you. I appreciate this group and the support more than I can express in words.

That's great! You are really making healthy choices, and most importantly, taking care of YOU.

As far as Love Addiction support groups. I don't know if any such thing exists in person. However, go on YouTube and type in "Love addiction" in the search bar, and you will see many free videos that you can start watching right away. There are also podcasts on this subject too, that you can listen to on your phone.

Also, type in those same words on Amazon, and I am sure they will have hundreds of books on this subject. Read some of the reviews for each book that looks interesting to you, and I am sure something good will catch your eye.

Good for you, and keep up the self awareness work! It will all be worth it in the end :-)

I too am in the same situation. I love her but it just seems there are too many obstacles to overcome to rekindle or to move ahead. You should be proud you made this tough decision, as so many people remain in unfulfilling relationships with people not suitable for them. It is tough though...no doubt dealing with the anxiety of not knowing if you will meet someone with better compatability. It is also tough being alone...we are social creatures and not meant to be isolated. Get out there as much as you can...after healing, grieving and self reflection leads you to being in a good position in your life to begin dating again. Tough decisions are not meant to be easy, but you will be rewarded in the long run with a more fulfilling connection with the right person. My best wishes to you

Thank you jojoe23 and everyone in this group discussion. It is a tough time because as a "love" addict, not only is there grieving, there is withdrawal. It's a double whammy and so far I haven't found a support group for the recovery from this addiction. Having had a lot of experience with 12 step recovery in the past, I know the power of joining with others who are on the path of recovery. I see my experience leading me to a place of working with others who suffer from this affliction. I haven't felt a sense of purpose in a long time even though I was asking Spirit to show me what my purpose was. I think I know now and I am grateful. Many thanks to you all.