Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Good morning people. It's a beautiful day. It's my only day off. I want to have a nice day. I want to enjoy it with my partner but she's being a jerk and argumentative as usual. I am considering looking at "married but looking" groups. I really don't like all the trouble I go through. I am actually kind of tired and I just wanted to go out to eat breakfast. Instead it turned into a blaming argument. It's always a blaming argument. I apologize in good faith for the sake of ending arguments but it doesn't do any good. I feel like I am putting a lot of effort into something somebody doesn't want. It's complicated because we work together. I own a business. I look at her as a partner with equal ownership although I hold the qualifying licensure. She was a jerk to my brother who has cancer and goes to radiation 5 days a week and still works. I called her an asshole because she was berating him in a group chat and now she's threatening to quit my business. I really need to get rid of her in it. She gets like this. She handles the office and I handle the field. I have two other daughters in the office. I need to train one of them to take her place so we are not stranded when she starts her "I quit" business and refuses to do any work, transferring the phones to my phone during the day. I have a hearing impairment and it's very hard for me to talk on the phone. I use a caption phone. Maybe I am here to just vent. I am very frustrated. I am just tired of the Bullcrap I have to deal with her all of the time. We've been married for 21 rough years. I just need to get her out of the house this time and keep her out. I left last time. She moved into my apartment and left the grown kids in the house. Somebody got crazy in the apartment complex and shot up my neighbors apartment so I left the apartment and moved back home with her. I know it's up to me to make changes. I try to do what I feel is the right thing. I try to make things work because it is easier than the unknown, but when I was out late Friday working and my feet were wet and I was tired and hungry I got a text from her telling me she is going to divorce me and take everything I own. She said she was going to make my life hell. It was already hell at that point. I made it home at 10:30, ate a cold dinner and went to bed without talking to anyone. I am just tired of this but I am scared, lazy and unsure of how to change things.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
What happens is we get reactive. Angry, argue back. Instead of staying in wise mind, not taking it personally and seeing it as their issue. But the stress on us is terrible. From what you have written in the past, your spouse is frequently using substances (weed). This means she is not in her calm, wise mind. She may also have a mental health disorder or be paranoid from high THC weed. If either or both, it’s beyond being able to make her happy.
I just found a book at the public library that gave me new perspective and I’m going to suggest you read it first and do some thinking. Focus on how you can’t change her, but you can change how you think, react, etc. “Healing the Stormy Marriage” by R. Christian Bohlen. Written from a Christian perspective but the support and honesty really gave me something to think about. He gets how we feel and verbalized it so we’ll. His mentally ill wife puts in her take which opened my eyes to why it’s so irrational at times dealing with a spouse who difficult. Her take helped me see why my reactions don’t work.
And I want to say that yes, you must cross train your entire office staff. Tell them it’s cross training because it’s a better business practice, you just read about it. During the pandemic, whole offices were out sick you’ve read. Be ready for daughters to side with mom if you fire the wife. All staff should have skills at handling incoming phone calls. All staff should understand at least a little bit of what the others do and what you do. I think wife is not helping the business grow. My husband called our normal plumber and got this surly woman and he was pissed and didn’t want to use them again. Its real. Be self protective after you think this out.
I suspect there is something going on with wife that is not fixable by you. Your job is to observe and pay attention so you gain understanding. What is driving her unhappiness and severe mood swings. Make a written plan that you keep secret.
I know you said there is infidelity going on by you, and also by your wife. I don't believe looking outside the marriage is any long term fix, and could cause more problems (legal problems, unwanted STDs and pregnancies, etc).
I'll suggest again about marriage counseling. If you think she would go to that?
The only person we can control is ourselves. if she is acting a certain way or doing certain things.... you can talk to her, but you can't stop her. Take care of you first and foremost, and your actions. I do hope things will improve for you soon.