Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So going thru the beginning of the Divorce process - and in a tight spot - I am stuck in the basement - Financially speaking I can't leave - we have 3 kids and she does not work - I don't want to abandon my kids or them see daddy leave. It is so hard, each week gets harder. I try to be nice and keep to myself and do the NCNC - but it almost impossible. I just want her to get a job and get on with this so I can heal..
Back story - 10 years of marriage - never fought, best of friends and everybody thought we where a perfect fit, even me!!!
3 kids - after the birth of our youngest 2 years ago, we decided as a family since her company was downsizing that it was probably best for her to stay at home and save from Day Care and raise the 3rd, we missed out on a lot by both of us working - From that moment on she changed slowly, we all asked her what she needed or where we could help. She responded that I go out to work and she stays home and works. it was a tough transition for all, the baby was difficult - but we got thru it, but it definitely changed her.
Then out of the blue in December she said that se wanted a Divorce and that she felt left behind and unsupported. I asked if we could go to Marriage Counseling and I would realign my work schedule to help and or do Part Time day care. I was in shock. She wanted out, get her own place, split the kids and get a job - had everything laid out.
Well, the next day I find out about her "Emotional Friend" - then the wheels fall off - secret phones, text message, gatherings so forth. I again asked to go to marriage counseling - she said no.
Well weeks of this all while leaving under the same roof - This "boyfriend" is a winner - herion addict, arrest/rehab 2 over the last 6 months. But she still goes back to him, hell she even had major surgery and he show up to her pre-exam while I was home with kids, to the point after surgery before she saw me, waited 4 hours she was calling him, and upset that he never to the call, why - cause he was in jail...
So much bullshit, sorry - but I tried to keep peace and better everything around her to see what an amazing family we have and how I would work on the marriage at all cost - I love her and value the marriage and vows - od school I guess. What I have found out over the months is that she is on her own path, will use my weakness to her advantage and has no feelings - she is not what I though she was .
I knew what I had to do - get a lawyer - I am afraid of this guy around my kids - hell, he has no job, criminal record, herion addict, going thru his own sticky divorce and can't see his own kids - real winner
But, I am stuck in the basement, the county I live in says if I leave for an extended time then it is abandonment, I don't want to leave my kids, don't want this guy at my house. She has not found a job, stated alimony and child support will keep her set up. Found a shady lawyer, I have to deal with all this pain all while leaving under the same roof, I been there for the kids and will fight if necessary. I know that she is shellfish and literally destroying a family right in front of her face. But the pain comes so hard, I try to be tough but I am getting screwed left and right. Just need some support. Sorry for the long story
Back story - 10 years of marriage - never fought, best of friends and everybody thought we where a perfect fit, even me!!!
3 kids - after the birth of our youngest 2 years ago, we decided as a family since her company was downsizing that it was probably best for her to stay at home and save from Day Care and raise the 3rd, we missed out on a lot by both of us working - From that moment on she changed slowly, we all asked her what she needed or where we could help. She responded that I go out to work and she stays home and works. it was a tough transition for all, the baby was difficult - but we got thru it, but it definitely changed her.
Then out of the blue in December she said that se wanted a Divorce and that she felt left behind and unsupported. I asked if we could go to Marriage Counseling and I would realign my work schedule to help and or do Part Time day care. I was in shock. She wanted out, get her own place, split the kids and get a job - had everything laid out.
Well, the next day I find out about her "Emotional Friend" - then the wheels fall off - secret phones, text message, gatherings so forth. I again asked to go to marriage counseling - she said no.
Well weeks of this all while leaving under the same roof - This "boyfriend" is a winner - herion addict, arrest/rehab 2 over the last 6 months. But she still goes back to him, hell she even had major surgery and he show up to her pre-exam while I was home with kids, to the point after surgery before she saw me, waited 4 hours she was calling him, and upset that he never to the call, why - cause he was in jail...
So much bullshit, sorry - but I tried to keep peace and better everything around her to see what an amazing family we have and how I would work on the marriage at all cost - I love her and value the marriage and vows - od school I guess. What I have found out over the months is that she is on her own path, will use my weakness to her advantage and has no feelings - she is not what I though she was .
I knew what I had to do - get a lawyer - I am afraid of this guy around my kids - hell, he has no job, criminal record, herion addict, going thru his own sticky divorce and can't see his own kids - real winner
But, I am stuck in the basement, the county I live in says if I leave for an extended time then it is abandonment, I don't want to leave my kids, don't want this guy at my house. She has not found a job, stated alimony and child support will keep her set up. Found a shady lawyer, I have to deal with all this pain all while leaving under the same roof, I been there for the kids and will fight if necessary. I know that she is shellfish and literally destroying a family right in front of her face. But the pain comes so hard, I try to be tough but I am getting screwed left and right. Just need some support. Sorry for the long story
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
HOLY CRAP!! You're much more tolerant than I would be. In hindsight it would've been prudent to call the police to get that documented and her arrested for domestic violence. I would've used that to gain full custody of the children and get her into anger management and supervised visitation only. That's beyond acceptable, it's criminal and a horrible example for the kids to see the aftermath of that. I wouldn't spend another second with her she sounds totally unstable and probably capable of additional violence.
Blood is thicker than water and they will ALWAYS side with daughter my ex MIL told me the same shit I cut her off too eventually as I realized she helped facilitate my ex wife's cheating and she's just as disordered as her daughter. She actually slept with my ex's first husband when they were engaged so really I'm happy to be out of crazyville. Once you get this broad out of your life you'll see how your stress will diminish and happiness is really possible Believe Me!
Your are right - they are not going to throw there daughter in the River - just thought I had a better relationship with her Mom. I have caught off all contact with her side the past month. I did love them, but my family been my rock and that is where I need to be.
I would agree that it sounds like you may be better off with less crazy in your life which includes her family as well.
I lived in my basement and relatives for a year and a half...should have made it happen sooner. Fortunate for me my former started working on herself to become financially independent.