Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
So going thru the beginning of the Divorce process - and in a tight spot - I am stuck in the basement - Financially speaking I can't leave - we have 3 kids and she does not work - I don't want to abandon my kids or them see daddy leave. It is so hard, each week gets harder. I try to be nice and keep to myself and do the NCNC - but it almost impossible. I just want her to get a job and get on with this so I can heal..
Back story - 10 years of marriage - never fought, best of friends and everybody thought we where a perfect fit, even me!!!
3 kids - after the birth of our youngest 2 years ago, we decided as a family since her company was downsizing that it was probably best for her to stay at home and save from Day Care and raise the 3rd, we missed out on a lot by both of us working - From that moment on she changed slowly, we all asked her what she needed or where we could help. She responded that I go out to work and she stays home and works. it was a tough transition for all, the baby was difficult - but we got thru it, but it definitely changed her.
Then out of the blue in December she said that se wanted a Divorce and that she felt left behind and unsupported. I asked if we could go to Marriage Counseling and I would realign my work schedule to help and or do Part Time day care. I was in shock. She wanted out, get her own place, split the kids and get a job - had everything laid out.
Well, the next day I find out about her "Emotional Friend" - then the wheels fall off - secret phones, text message, gatherings so forth. I again asked to go to marriage counseling - she said no.
Well weeks of this all while leaving under the same roof - This "boyfriend" is a winner - herion addict, arrest/rehab 2 over the last 6 months. But she still goes back to him, hell she even had major surgery and he show up to her pre-exam while I was home with kids, to the point after surgery before she saw me, waited 4 hours she was calling him, and upset that he never to the call, why - cause he was in jail...
So much bullshit, sorry - but I tried to keep peace and better everything around her to see what an amazing family we have and how I would work on the marriage at all cost - I love her and value the marriage and vows - od school I guess. What I have found out over the months is that she is on her own path, will use my weakness to her advantage and has no feelings - she is not what I though she was .
I knew what I had to do - get a lawyer - I am afraid of this guy around my kids - hell, he has no job, criminal record, herion addict, going thru his own sticky divorce and can't see his own kids - real winner
But, I am stuck in the basement, the county I live in says if I leave for an extended time then it is abandonment, I don't want to leave my kids, don't want this guy at my house. She has not found a job, stated alimony and child support will keep her set up. Found a shady lawyer, I have to deal with all this pain all while leaving under the same roof, I been there for the kids and will fight if necessary. I know that she is shellfish and literally destroying a family right in front of her face. But the pain comes so hard, I try to be tough but I am getting screwed left and right. Just need some support. Sorry for the long story
Back story - 10 years of marriage - never fought, best of friends and everybody thought we where a perfect fit, even me!!!
3 kids - after the birth of our youngest 2 years ago, we decided as a family since her company was downsizing that it was probably best for her to stay at home and save from Day Care and raise the 3rd, we missed out on a lot by both of us working - From that moment on she changed slowly, we all asked her what she needed or where we could help. She responded that I go out to work and she stays home and works. it was a tough transition for all, the baby was difficult - but we got thru it, but it definitely changed her.
Then out of the blue in December she said that se wanted a Divorce and that she felt left behind and unsupported. I asked if we could go to Marriage Counseling and I would realign my work schedule to help and or do Part Time day care. I was in shock. She wanted out, get her own place, split the kids and get a job - had everything laid out.
Well, the next day I find out about her "Emotional Friend" - then the wheels fall off - secret phones, text message, gatherings so forth. I again asked to go to marriage counseling - she said no.
Well weeks of this all while leaving under the same roof - This "boyfriend" is a winner - herion addict, arrest/rehab 2 over the last 6 months. But she still goes back to him, hell she even had major surgery and he show up to her pre-exam while I was home with kids, to the point after surgery before she saw me, waited 4 hours she was calling him, and upset that he never to the call, why - cause he was in jail...
So much bullshit, sorry - but I tried to keep peace and better everything around her to see what an amazing family we have and how I would work on the marriage at all cost - I love her and value the marriage and vows - od school I guess. What I have found out over the months is that she is on her own path, will use my weakness to her advantage and has no feelings - she is not what I though she was .
I knew what I had to do - get a lawyer - I am afraid of this guy around my kids - hell, he has no job, criminal record, herion addict, going thru his own sticky divorce and can't see his own kids - real winner
But, I am stuck in the basement, the county I live in says if I leave for an extended time then it is abandonment, I don't want to leave my kids, don't want this guy at my house. She has not found a job, stated alimony and child support will keep her set up. Found a shady lawyer, I have to deal with all this pain all while leaving under the same roof, I been there for the kids and will fight if necessary. I know that she is shellfish and literally destroying a family right in front of her face. But the pain comes so hard, I try to be tough but I am getting screwed left and right. Just need some support. Sorry for the long story
Anyhow I wanted to share what an old co-worker went through. Although he and his wife both worked, neither could afford the home on their own and both daughters were in high school and they didn't want to uproot them. They divorced but lived in separate areas of the house for quite a few years, I think until both girls graduated. They quite literally lived separate lives, each dating others, and the ex-wife would still cook for him. It was the strangest set up I had ever heard of, and eventually he relocated for a new job, but would come down to see his girls on his days off.
I guess where I was going with this is, people come up with creative solutions for their situations and to do what's best for their kids. Hang in there and take care of yourself and your kids first.