Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Okay, I have seen a lot of different posts from women on this community and some others, where there husband/boyfriend doesn't want sex, I have also, recently had my sister and sister-in-law ask about this. I do not understand this at all, whenever I hear of it, my first two thoughts are:
1) they are gay
2) they are cheating
I am no model, but have never been turned down by a man when I initiate sex. I actually questioned my fiance about what was going on one time after we had sex, because it took him a minute longer than usual to get it up and lasted longer (not that that's bad, just wasn't the normal time range), I was correct in thinking something was a little off, but it only turned out to be that he had "taken care of himself," earlier that morning.
I guess what I am wondering is what else would it be? I would be extremely nervous if my fiance started saying no and/or stopped trying. Any straight guys, who are not cheating, said no? Any woman ever found an answer other than the two I listed? I have been told that men too, need to be in the right mind-set, but I have always found it to be alot easier for them to get in that mind- set than women. I just don't understand why there are apparently, so many men not having sex with their wives/girlfriends?? Any thoughts??
1) they are gay
2) they are cheating
I am no model, but have never been turned down by a man when I initiate sex. I actually questioned my fiance about what was going on one time after we had sex, because it took him a minute longer than usual to get it up and lasted longer (not that that's bad, just wasn't the normal time range), I was correct in thinking something was a little off, but it only turned out to be that he had "taken care of himself," earlier that morning.
I guess what I am wondering is what else would it be? I would be extremely nervous if my fiance started saying no and/or stopped trying. Any straight guys, who are not cheating, said no? Any woman ever found an answer other than the two I listed? I have been told that men too, need to be in the right mind-set, but I have always found it to be alot easier for them to get in that mind- set than women. I just don't understand why there are apparently, so many men not having sex with their wives/girlfriends?? Any thoughts??
You answered your own question-
It is a lot easier for men to get in that mind- set than women.
2. He may be cheating
3. You may have put on weight or some other physical thing he might not be attracted to.
4. He may have deep seeded anger or hurt towards you.
5. He may be too tired.
Let me tell you, sometimes even when a man feels hurt or offended or distant from his wife. Even if she has the body of a swimsuit model, he may not be sexually interested in the least, which may make it difficult for him to even get an erection. Men can also come to a place where sex becomes a chore for them.
when we first met he couldn't keep his hands off of me, he had little experience but I helpped him out there and he became a gREAT lover -
then after the wedding - including the wedding night - nothing......????
we were together for 3 years before marriage and it was GREAT - then nothing. went on the honeymoon (4weeks) and it was was terrible, like he was so upset all the time.
it got a bit better and I was very busy in business and nursing a child with cancer - so when we had sex , it was GREAT - but I always felt like I was pressuring him into it.
turns out he was GAY and didn't want to let his family down and his MOM down.
after our divorce, he still did not come out and ended up with another woman to "HIDE" behind. I feel sorry for her.
it was hard on me as I gave him too many years - thinking it was depression, health, etc............................but all the time it was just him being GAY
now, I am very gun-shy with men, they notice me and make eye-contact but I am very untrustful right now.
and I will never remarry. period. when I find the right men, I think I will just keep them in my stable for "rides" LOL (sorry you men out there, but women can take this route too). smile, jump each other, pat on the ass after and go on with your day!
I never even go to wedding anymore. think they are a all a joke now.
Ladies, what was your yes/no ratio?
Let's flip this over, shall we?
You condemn men for saying "no".
What about you? How often did you say "no"? How many hundreds or thousands did you hand out before you heard one? How long did it take you to notice that he wasn't asking anymore? How long did you wait after that before you approached him?
If a player's batting average falls to .100 or lower, pretty soon they stop going to the plate. After that, even if they get asked to bat, they decline because they remember all the times they struck out.
Play nice if you want to keep playing.
I've always had a big sex drive before and after my marriage. Don't take much to get me in the mood as long as I feel the connection.
so, a guy substitutes her with something else.
I look back and I only told him NO once and that was after I had passed 4 good-sized kidney stones...The rest of the time he told me no because he found something better, like child porn or writing erotic stories.