Breakups & Divorce Support Group
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Okay, I have seen a lot of different posts from women on this community and some others, where there husband/boyfriend doesn't want sex, I have also, recently had my sister and sister-in-law ask about this. I do not understand this at all, whenever I hear of it, my first two thoughts are:
1) they are gay
2) they are cheating
I am no model, but have never been turned down by a man when I initiate sex. I actually questioned my fiance about what was going on one time after we had sex, because it took him a minute longer than usual to get it up and lasted longer (not that that's bad, just wasn't the normal time range), I was correct in thinking something was a little off, but it only turned out to be that he had "taken care of himself," earlier that morning.
I guess what I am wondering is what else would it be? I would be extremely nervous if my fiance started saying no and/or stopped trying. Any straight guys, who are not cheating, said no? Any woman ever found an answer other than the two I listed? I have been told that men too, need to be in the right mind-set, but I have always found it to be alot easier for them to get in that mind- set than women. I just don't understand why there are apparently, so many men not having sex with their wives/girlfriends?? Any thoughts??
1) they are gay
2) they are cheating
I am no model, but have never been turned down by a man when I initiate sex. I actually questioned my fiance about what was going on one time after we had sex, because it took him a minute longer than usual to get it up and lasted longer (not that that's bad, just wasn't the normal time range), I was correct in thinking something was a little off, but it only turned out to be that he had "taken care of himself," earlier that morning.
I guess what I am wondering is what else would it be? I would be extremely nervous if my fiance started saying no and/or stopped trying. Any straight guys, who are not cheating, said no? Any woman ever found an answer other than the two I listed? I have been told that men too, need to be in the right mind-set, but I have always found it to be alot easier for them to get in that mind- set than women. I just don't understand why there are apparently, so many men not having sex with their wives/girlfriends?? Any thoughts??
Z used to want it everyday until his last heart attack... then it was very tiring for him to even try... but it is getting better for him. We are long distance so thank god for phone sex LOL ;)
I'm surprised to see that some of the ladies don't think it's ok to say no, ever. Wow.
My ex and I had a very satisfying sexual relationship but I went through phases of little interest in sex largely based on where we were emotionally. My ex went through phases of ED that sometimes were based in his having prostate issues, and then becoming anxious, and once, as it came out in when we were in counseling, when we were trying to conceive our 2nd child, and he wasn't really on board with wanting to do that (but didn't tell me at the time).
I think rule # 1 in marriage--maybe it should be required for a license: if there is something wrong sexually, there is something wrong with the relationship. DO SOMETHING NOW.
The experiances go from one extreme to the next. I think that lack of sex. Our egos lack of comunication and precoceeved ideas about how we relate to eachother makes deicisions for us on how to be with a partner in life.
Some how we need to learn how to comunicate aour wants and needs without fear of being rejected.
She's always had thyroid problems and been tired, needs lots of sleep and rest, but every year became less interaction between us of any kind. Sex, no point in asking except the mornings she has off from work. For a while the rule was wait, don't wake her up before nine, then don't wake her up at all, wait till ten or so when she gets up. I sometimes call what's left for us an "appointment" because it's so predictable, so much the same every time.
She's refused to go to weekend seminars on restoring romance
If I ever finally find someone willing to have a relationship with a married man, if I ever manage to cheat and she finds out - it will be totally my fault, she'll have no role in our relationship getting to that point. Isn't that how it works?
Will this thread be closed also?
Good thread though!!
First, he was a verbal/emotional abuser and "withholding" sex was a way to exert control over me.
Second, he never loved me when he married me. I would imagine that after so long a time, that love is needed in order to be intimate. It was never there.
Third, he had affairs and looked at porn.