Relationship or marriage?

That's a tough decision to make. Any of them could work I guess

Rman, did you meet with your parents? Do you have help?

What part of "how to get out" do you need help with?

Can one of you just leave? Then you file... Right?

I suggest using a magical keyboard like the one they found on the cartoon "regular show" episode "the power" and send her to the soon.....

Let me know how that goes.... if it doesn't work we'll go to "plan B"

You need to leave, Rman. It's hard, but you need to do it. She is abusing you and I hate to keeps seeing that happen. Louie asked best, what help do you need?

@ Louie: In our state, we have to wait a year and a day after separation to file.

Rman I do feel sorry for your problem.
There is a old saying " It is cheaper to keep her " It is so true.

If you don't try to save your marriage then it will come to divorce. I don't know the whole story but some things you have mentioned. Maybe you should try to go to conceling and think about some of the things she wanted you to do.

If you divorce you need to think about alamony, child support, insurance for the kids and maybe her. Plus you living on your own and seeing the kids part time.

Alot to think about.

Sorry did not do spell check.

well, don't think murder is a good idea. have to say, you haven't been happy since I've been on this site for almost 2 months. Need to start taking steps. Good luck, but will say it makes a person feel better when they take action vs doing nothing.

and splitting the assumed debt, even if you weren't the shopaholic


I've seen you get tons of advice over the year I have been here, loads of good stuff.

So it seems you are looking for something else. What though? a way to get yourself unstuck? a way to feel the pain and/or fear and survive it, rather than numbing out? a way to act even if you feel guilty? or something else?

do you know where you need support?

I know I am always confused between things I hear about missing her, longing for her, having a heart that wants love to be reciprocated, hungering for intimacy -- and wanting out from the mountain of debt, no life but for work, a chance at love again, a full and satisfying life without her.

So I imagine if I am confused listening, you might be finding it difficult to reconcile all the contradictory feelings you have going through this.

I would be happy to offer some advice, but need more info. Such as who this person is in relation to you. Some of the posters are assuming it is your wife, but it doesn't seem to me that is who you are talking about here. That would make a big difference as to how I would advise you to getting out of this relationship.

So could you please give more info about this female? Is it a DS member, the mail carrier, co-worker, baby sitter?

Rman! Murder is not the answer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDT6FT3xWuo

wow MisRed, I hadn't thought of that, but you make sense.

I apologize for having assumed it was your wife you were talking about.

Rman - it is time to move on and have a life you can enjoy, not simply an existence. Big hugs to you.

Lynne

Be COMPLETELY honest but compassionate. Take it easy on her feelings. In other words, take it easy on her feelings. ;) Good luck! Sorry about the mess!

@Joy LOL, with Rman you gotta be miss marple sometimes since he's a jokester. He may be talking about Mrs. Butterworth for all I know.