Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
im one month into a separation and so lost, one day my wife of 9 years came home and asked me to decide what we should go do, i was a lil tired and couldnt decide, and that was it, he had it, she texted my step-daughter and her boyfriend to come help get all her stuff and she moved out nd in with them. one week or so later she texts me and says she has to leave the state and back to her old home to stay with a friend, she had to go because even with a good job, i put her in a bad debt and she couldnt afford to live here anymore, she was living with me in my folks home while i took care of my dad everyday. for years off and on she would catch me talking to women online and each time i told her id never again, and things were fine for a few months maybe even almost a year untill it happened again, she also doesnt like how id text and ask where she was or whats she was doing all the time, and theres more, but im not even sure about posting all this here. i posted this because today she texted me saying i texted her too much and she needs more space. before then ive told her how much i truely changed since she left, ill admit, i never once thought she would ever leave me, and having that done to me has changed my outlook so much, my focus and my 110% self inwanting her back, loving her completely and no phoning it in everyday of her life and that im ready to be everything she needs. she tells me that maybe in a few months we can talk, our anniversry is in march and im a total reck, ive never loved another woman do much
does anyone have anything constructive and helpful? i dont know what more i can do, my wife and i text, but not much and when we do its nothing really meaningful, she says shes not ready.
But maybe I'm wrong.
Best of luck to you and your wife.
But you do need to settle. Just stop actions. You have to let what has happened settle before you choose a new action. Right now you've got a huge pressure to do the magical thing that will fix it all.
And you can't. Anything you do will be the wrong thing, and the moment you do it, the pressure will build again and it will be another thing to obsess over.
So really: zombie movies. going out with your mates. A holiday somewhere. Anything to distract you while your body winds down and brings you to some level of rest.
You're VERY codependent. :) join the codependent group.
And anyone who you feel is just out to get you, put them on ignore. There's a little down arrow beside their name when they post. Click on it and choose ignore. We are all here but we are all damaged ourselves. People will want you to be this, they will want you to be that. We are all coming from our own space. I put people on ignore till I cool off, then I go remove them and it dose help in a short space of time. We all fixate. It's just a thing.
you two have had an unhealthy relationship. You've built your sense of normal around it. But now you have to break that normal and make a new one in a stronger location on better foundations.
Fight. :p Distract yourself, go places, do things. Fix that leaky guttering, dig that garden over. Do stuff that is productive and physical. Get your body moving, walking up mountains, swimming in the river.
Physically move yourself into spaces that are not familiar. Get your body out of its rut and your mind will be able to follow.