Well, I'm not even going to try to figure out who needs the support!

I think each individual does, and could benefit from it! So no disagreement there.

I, personally, don't like "quiet", if you need to speak up, you should. Cuz too much "Quiet" is no good! Sometimes being quiet and placating your partner, friend, relative, whomever, is what got us in trouble in the first place. I've always been a "peace keeper", but sometimes it backfires too!

Now I'd rather be a "truth-seeker" and a "truth-speaker". I promise to try to be as nice as possible when I do it. If I mess us, not to worry, I usually have a gnawing pain which alerts me far quicker than any person can. Conscience can go a long way.

Cuz the few times, I bellowed back to someone, "FU", one it was my sister, and she got the point, and we did argue, made peace, and I'll bet she'll think twice before giving me bs.

The only other time, a friend, who said some crap, and it felt good, and I realized it was time to depart, time to quit being emotionally and verbally abused, and that I wouldn't stand for the same old tactics. Why allow a relationship to continue if it is so lopsided??? Doesn't make sense at my age anymore. So now I like diplomacy, tact, but direct honesty peppered in there too. That's working for me!

@ Misred, they were always there and giving lots of time, covering many issues on the board, other members, and I don't blame them simply can't put much time into it.
Also my comments were many times said over, but that because many don't even read misspelled comments, so that makes perfect sense.

RE: Misred, I completely agree with you. Nobody is a God. Except maybe (Steven Spielberg). However, do you not agree that no one on here should play god and have others removed when they don't agree with them?

DOH! I totally forgot about Spielberg so I digress. And yes no one should play God on DS, but as I said that the banned are not here to fill us in on what happened so I will not make judgment as to who's fault it is that so many were banned. The point I was trying to make is that this board is not going to die away because llmt's friends are not here right now. That and and that there were a lot of strong personalities that kept away a lot of good people too.

And I agree I didn't like how the closed thread you refer to in your reply #101 went down either.

Well DM,

"Depends on which side of the fence you are on"

I refuse to adopt that mentality. I don't have a fence, and if I did, I 'd sit perched very high, and watch the ping pong ball go over each side, soon get bored, and get off the fence.

I hate taking sides. I may like one person, personally, take Z for example, due to personal contact, but not like some of "her favorites", cuz I'm not Z, nor a clone of her, and she wouldn't insist or require me to take a side.

I might like a few others on the other continuum, or "clique". I may pick and choose, which individuals I prefer, based on my own personal experience to them. If they have ignored me, well...guess they choose not to know me.

If they have responded favorably, I may like them a tad bit better. But no matter which friend I choose, it's my business, my choice, and I think the clique thing is so passe, so junior high. I mean I get it at some level, as it exists everywhere, in life, in jobs, here, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I am captive and forced to play! I hold people responsible for what they say and do, and if they offend me, or are rude or disrepectful....bub-eye....

No one forces us on here, to waste hours (as many of us do).
We really aren't going to change much, certainly not an individual, so t ends up counter-productive and fruitless anyways!

@ Misred

You have a very strong, valid point! Some people come, some go, for various reasons and seasons.

The board probably will not dry up, and discontinue to function. There are thousands and thousands of people here, and the remaining group will continue to reach out, as others have, and it will propagate new growth, and continue.

Will it be the same?? Probably not!! Will very tight knit groups develop friendships again, probably so! Will they continue to create "sides" and factions? Probably so! This whole thing is not so unique to social groups of people. Always been there, always will be! It's a matter of time, and a matter of who can sling how much mud the furthest! And so it goes....

There is no clique, left only in G's mind from the past. It's what you have said. I like Z, for example, support her. That's all.

@ DML
I do like your avi, and y ou sound awfully familiar to me, lol, as well as your writing style!

But instead of disguising you concern about GCSH or whatever the combo of his avi is.......

You don't have to attempt to tell me about his "FU Bitches" post!
That is just a very angry person, someone failing miserably at attempting "humour", or a disturbed person who is disturbed for many reason.

@ GSCH

I recognize that you mentioned about "bullies" etc, earlier today, might have been on a nother post. And I have seen many gang up on you!

I've read interchanges, and just shook my head, and thought: This is entertainment???? Not to me, got bored with both sides, shut down the room , and went elsewhere.

So, no matter who it is, I don't have to gang up on him/her, even if most say how rude or ignorant. It's still my choice. Just don't spend that much time with folks who "trigger" you, rub you the wrong way, or whatever.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and guess that some of GSCH's anger, and out of line-ness may have also been encouraged, as well as reciprocated. I think, I have seen both sides at play, whether or not he's a misogynist or not,.....

It takes two to tango, two to love, two to fight, ......

So I still don't take sides. I can see where some folks just self-perpetuate this syndrome, some take a break and harbor resentment, and let that little angry monster come out to play a new day, on a new post!

Nothing wrong with using the ignore button.
We all know the more reinforcement we give an action or behavior, the more likely it is to occur. Negative reinforcement counts too, as some people prefer that over no attention at all.

I miss all those people; I guess that's my DS generation. Probably most of the people on here now don't know me. Some of us old-timers are hiding out in our journals writing and reading our friends' journals and reading comments on ours. To some, that is a natural next step as we move along our journey; for others, their exit from the boards seems to have been a bit less gentle. I am very, very grateful for how supportive DS was to me when I really needed it as a newbie. Warm wishes to all who are still here, and wishing the best to all as we reinvent our lives.

@

Oh yeah, Family woman, there is still a huge clique, don't fool yourself. And I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that. I've had over 20 emails today alone, from other friends who frequent several rooms, and said they felt unwelcome here, disregarded, and invisible too.

Some were shocked that I wasn't in the "clique", cuz perhaps in other rooms, I get a decent set of responses. I say to each his own, many rooms, no fret, and just focus on the positive.

And dont' forget, jsut cuz llmt said she misses her friends in this post, there are quite a few others who are also her friend, so she says. She tells them she misses us independently or on a hug, or email, too. So not all of her friends are banned for sure!

People are people, and I don't get why or how, some get so bent out of shape, when they probably won't have much to do with them in personal lives, other than maybe a meet-n-greet! Lotsa unresolved issues deep down, and then it comes out here.

Okay, hoping this is my last comment, as I was out watering the grass a minute ago, I thought:

It's a dang shame. You take some of these individuals by themselves, ya got a wonderful group of people. Some very intelligent, some very witty, some very insightful, some very hospitable, some very kind, some with unique perspectives, and each indiviual, alone, has a lot to offer, and creates a beautiful mosaic here, really. And when/if that occurs again, this room will be successful.

A picture was not meant to be broken down, by each brushstroke, but to be looked at from afar! When individuals start tearing down individuals (for whatever puposes, mainly alliances, I believe), some of those individuals lose all their creativity, their good points, and they start to turn. We start to see ugly behavior, and not their very potential good side.

We can't get into a mob mentality, or continue to have huge factions, who insist on newcomers joining either side. It's not necessary. Let newcomers be, let newbies talk, give newbies support, and take the "I" out of the formula.

If factions love each other so much, and perform less than exemplary, and change their positive to negative, then those factions suffer within as well. So this helps absolutely no one.

I would say, contact all your friends, plan a get together. Enjoy each other, be with each other in real life. Get on the phone, skype each other, text, and live your lives with your friends, and you don't necessarily have to prove to anyone on this board who your friend is, how close you are. Just enjoy, and get back to the positive selves you each can be! I've seen it! It can be so lively, so fun, just nice!!!!!

But of course, that is each individual's prerogative!
And don't forget Facebook, cuz that is really the social networking site, and what it's all about!

@ DML

Don't remind us of corporate takeovers!!!! lol
We can't seem to get away from it, no matter which way we turn!
But that could also be a contributing factor:
This frickin economy isn't makin it easier for folks to relax, let alone survive with the basis necessities. So this, in essence is a form of entertainment for many!

Let's face it! It's free! You don'thave to leave the house! No shower or makeup or aftershave required. YOu can talk any hour of the day! YOu can drink at home while partaking, along with who knows what else people are taking/doing????

Funny think is, we think we know someone so well, when in reality we really don't! All we know is what that individual is projecting out there as a public individual, or private individual.
Heck, many of us didn't know our own spouses after years of marriage! We thought we did, cuz we lived with them. So, that is a cautionary tale for here. We can't protend to know every one at the level we think we do. You can't know a "closed book" or a book with a "book jacket". You will only know what someone wants you to know, and not a whole lot of people are "open books".

Just a little something to ponder, I'm pretty sure, you'll have a comment!

I would like to clear up something. What some of you may believe I dont have anger problems. To be truthful you people make me laugh. Not because you are in pain but because the way you are acting. This is better then " Housewives of NJ ".

sorry typos:
basis for basics
protend for portend
think for thing

Maybe you should tell some of your friends that too. By the way where is BADJAKEN? Hmmmmmm

At least we know that beating around the bush, as Joy does, while looking for resolution, not going anywhere. Mambers waiting and see what have seen from her before, beating around the bush. That would resolve all, but no. Play has to be made by some idioting rules( examle google resolution), HERS. I just can't anymore, all was said before, year ago,still talking about it.