Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Backstory for those that do not remember. I found out my wife cheated 3 months ago, and she insisted it was over and wanted to work it out for our sons sake, She's been so cold and distant I knew she was hiding SOMETHING. Today while cleaning the bathroom I find a bottle of Valtrex with half the prescription taken already, and it has 12 refills!!! Even when confronted she tried to deny it for an hour. After insisting I know it's only for 2 things (shingles and herpes). She finally admitted it. What did I do to deserve this? How could she be so wreckless, and do this to our son? our family? How long did she really intend to hide this?worst part is she doesn't even feel bad about it. She just says "what's done is done, I can't change it". I just want to kill myself. I never in a million years thought this would happen. How could i have spent half of my life with someone capable of this? I'm embarassed for her, and for me. I want to talk to someone so bad but I'm afraid to tell anyone. I don't want everyone to know. I thought about calling my best friend but what if he tells our other friends?
One thing I have been trying to wrap my head around - stbx just doesn't make any sense anymore!! She has become a bizarrely irrational person! Not sure if your situation is the same. But there just isn't much good explanation for most of what she does. So you just have to try to block her out and go on with your own life. So difficult.
Wishing you the best.
Take care, I know how bad it sucks but time really does help. The sooner you can really detach the better.
http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
Something to think about if or when you do start dating again.
As for your son, his risks are minimal. The greatest risk is being pregnant when first infected, that can cause devastating problems with the baby. Next is having an active infection when about to give birth, but that only means a c-section..
Please, please, please don't feel embarrassed. Call your own doctor, and/or your son's pediatrician. With one in six Americans infected...this isn't something that they don't deal with daily. For all you know, your best friend could have it, and just not want to talk about it themselves.
Sexually transmitted infections have to reported state boards of health, so if you're in the US, it will be reported. If she gave names of possible contacts, then they can notify you. It doesn't always happen. Also, in some states having intercourse when you know you have an STI and you don't inform your partner is considered a criminal offense.
So sorry you're having to go through this.
Divorce is a negotiation, where you start at counts.
If the house has to be sold, your son may end up in a different school, why shouldn't you try to be close to him or have custody, if that's what you want? Many states consider moving out as "abandonment". It's a BIG deal.
And give yourself time to deal with the thoughts about the herpes. It doesn't have to be a deal breaker for getting back together; and, like you said, probably explains her distance.