Oh shoot, I just realized that I looked it up for Alabama, not Georgia...

Please forgive this northern girl...

;(

Brother....I feel your pain. I found out my wife cheated 3 months ago and when it was discovered, it chattered my world. I thought we were doing fine. I was working 2 jobs to provide a better future for her and my son and found out while I was busting my rear working at nights, she was talking with another guy. Out of stupidity, she took pictures of herself with the other guy on her phone and didn;t realize that her phone was connected, via icloud, to the house ipad. Sadly, our 10 year old son found the pictures on the ipad and showed them to me. I was crushed and really hurt. We were working on our relationship before the pics were discovered. This was a big set back. I forgave her because I love her. She admitted she made a big mistake and said tha it was a one time only affair. She honestly wishes that it never happened. And was truly sorry for the hurt that it caused. I can tell that she really meant that much. Three weeks into rebuilding trust and a better relationship, she asked for a separation. That killed me. I thought we were moving in the right direction. She said that she wants her freedom. She has some new friends in her life and wants the freedom to come and go and hang out with them. She wants to move out of the house but our finances will not allow for 2 households. She is disabled and is battling 4th stage lung cancer. She has refused treatment and wants to live out the rest of her life on her terms. For the time being, we are under the same roof and get along. For our sons sake. She takes off on the weekends and I promised to give her the space she needs to find what it is that she feels she needs in her life. it has been rough emotionally. But I am hoping and praying that she realizes that she has a family at home that really loves her and understand that she is going through alot at this time. My depression has gotten worse and I dont like all of the meds that the doctors are giving me. I am meeting with a therapist on the 25th to help me learn how to cope and deal with the depression.

Robert that is awful. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that. I think you're a good man for giving her the space she wants. Who knows what knowing your life is near the end does to ones pysche. Personally I would probably want to spend it with those that matter the most, but obviously she is handling it her own way.

Patti, she is a horrible person. If she was truly sorry, and begging there may be a 1% chance I would try again, but she agrees we can never rebuild the relationship at this point. She's not sorry. Even when confronted she denied it for an hour. Had she hid her valtrex a little better who knows how long I would of been clueless. In hindsight she left the marriage a longtime ago. We've agreed pretty much on how property should be divided and I think it's fair. She does make more than twice what I do, I gave up my career in IT of 14 yrs so she could take her career to the next level, and that required extensive travel. I started working part time so I could take my son to school, and pick him up at 2:30 everyday. So maybe I should pursue alimony since I did make sacrifices that will hurt my earning potential now. All she cares about at this point is no one knowing about what she did. I feel like people deserve to know the truth, but I'll respect her wishes if she doesn't play games with me seeing my son. I can't afford this house on my own but she could no problem. So it makes sense for her to keep it,mand me move on. I did not know about abandonment. I don't want to give up my custody rights. If I see a lawyer so it can be an at fault divorce do I need any kind of evidence? I mean she admitted it finally, but her lawyer could always tell her to deny that. I don't have pictures, texts, or a private detectives testimony.

I don't know about evidence.

And a lawyer is the person to ask about alimony. If you qualify, absolutely go for it.

It's not about "getting even", Karma, or anything else like that. And it's all about having parents that are approximately on equal footing.

Divorce laws very greatly by state, and somewhat by area. That's why it really helps to get local help. You might also look into going to DivorceCare. It's Biblically based but not oppressive (I'm atheist, they had no issues with me.) It's a good way to get into contact with some local people going through the same thing.

Local support groups are nice too. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house in the company of others without having to: 1) explain yourself, 2) be with a date, 3) explain why you don't want to be with a date...

Sorry for what you are experiencing. You need to speak with a mental health provider about the hat you are feeling and thinking. She doesn't deserve you. Focus in what you need to do to survive the lies and betrayals.

You are not alone and I cant speak for others but I know when I first found out about my ex's affair I felt the same way, wanted to crawl under a rock and die. But I can tell you it takes time but things will get better. No one else is worth hurting yourself over. Be there for your son, he needs you in his life. My old counselor said it is so embarrassing, like there is a giant hole in your chest and it feels like everyone can see it! Like others have said suing a counselor would be a great choice, it helped me a lot when I felt I couldn't talk to anyone else.
And as you can see we here are dailystrength are here for ya too.

I hope you have searched for Divorce in Ga. I did a quick search and you do need to talk to an atty. I don't know how old your children are but Ga. allows a 14 year old to choose which parent he wants to live with. You can possibly file a fault divorce and Ga is also an equitable distribution state. Since your wife is the higher wage earner you might very well be entitled to alimony. If you wait you might not be able to have grounds to file fault.

If it's truly over than get to a lawyer! Pronto! And yes you need to go after everything you can, child support, alimony etc if you guys both decided she would further her career during the marriage. Do not try to be the "nice" guy. You will regret that choice later and your child deserves financially secure parents, not one that has to lose everything over cheating.

It's definitely for herpes and not for cold sores?

Onmymind2000, yes she admitted she has herpes.

I am so sorry. You deserve better than this. You have to know this! This behavior is unacceptable. Please find the strength. She does not have the right take your health. You should not live with this and accept this. Not ok. I may be in the minority here. You deserve better. I am so sorry

Thanks Pickingup! I've already made up my mind. She can't be trusted at all, and she's not asking me to stay anyway. Even if she was begging there's NO way I could do it. I'll try to look at the bright side. Being angry helps make it easier in a way. There's so many on here that were caught completely off guard, and are still in love with their spouse's.

sad that she would cheat, risk her family, get caught,
then come down with herpes
and hide that from you

that is one sick cold creature

what did you do to deserve this,
deserve have nada to do with what one "gets" in this world
you just were / are a good guy that trusted a a self centered chameleon

i am a sorry for your son and you

i didn't talk to anyone for a very long time ability my spouses infidelity, until long after she announced divorce ----- for other "fake" reasons, keeping it in did not help me at all, keeping that stuff bottled up is not good, find someone that you can let it all out with

Refurb, I agree. She is one sick woman. She even thinks she is the victim in all of this. "She's the one who has to live with this disease for the rest of her life". When I mentioned what she is doing to our son, she had the nerve to say "he'll be fine, he's getting older and will be doing his own things soon and wouldn't be spending so much time with you anyway" Now if he was 15 maybe that is partially true, but HE IS FIVE!!!

I hope deep inside she has some ounce of guilt, but all I've seen from her so far is trying to justify everything that's happening.

Lamar I was told similar things about our kids and that is just selfish!.
I can tell you , for me , time does heal you . After being apart since 2011 , I am in a much better place mentally. Support , friends , family , my church family and dreams of my own have helped so much ! Keep your chin up , go through your grief process , you'll make it .
New beginnings can be good .