FILE! ASAP.

I don't know your families income or any of the particulars, but file on his adulterous a** and get support for your kids and yourself.

Don't let him run the show or you will end up royally screwed.

Yes lawyers cost money. Trust me, you need one and down the road you'll thank God you had one.

YOUR STBX IS NOT YOUR FRIEND NOW. Don't listen to a single word he says. He is looking out for number one now- himself.

Don't allow him to manipulate you. You will kick yourself if you do.

I was working as a teacher, was tired of it. He said to quit and he would support me. That was not the truth. He lied. I quit and now can't support myself. My son is a junior in high school. I don't have the money to get a lawyer.

Do you own a home? His assets are MARITAL assets that a judge will decide what to with.

A lawyer can take your case based on your marital assets

My lawyer had me sign a agreement that when our marital home was sold, he got paid off the top. And my ex was ordered to pay half of my fees out of his share

You have a child still in high school. His salary is marital income.

You're not helpless here. Don't let him brainwash you. You have rights.

No, we rented. I don't own anything. He bought a house and is now trying to make it a bed and breakfast. People have said if I file then I will have to pay for the lawyer. I don't want this year to past without him giving me what he wants especially since he has introduced the kids to his girlfriend which means he's financially taking care of her now.

Make an appointment with a lawyer asap. Many give free consultations and will tell you exactly how to get this done in your state.

PLEASE fight for yourself and what you're entitled to, which is HALF of everything accumulated during your marriage.

And for heaven's sake don't speak to him of your actions until you're lawyer serves him. And after that, refer him to your lawyer.

Remember, HE IS NOT ACTING IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS. DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAYS.

Ok, we were married for 23 years. He doesn't communicate with me other than maybe once every 2 months.

Ok, we were married for 23 years. He doesn't communicate with me other than maybe once every 2 months. I can't believe this

You're entitled to at least half. The court can order him to sell the B&B unless he wants to buy you out because by law half of it is yours. Your child is also entitled to support.

He may not be communicating now, but once he realizes you've filed and are serious about getting what you deserve, he's going to be PISSED. When that doesn't work he'll try a different tactic. He'll run the gamut of being sweet, calling you every name in the book, then sweet talking, then threatening... ugh

All in an effort to keep you in line and keep you from ruining his little love nest with the new woman.

Don't fall for it. The folks here will help you and so will your lawyer.

You need to get at least a part time job, now, to help support yourself & pay bills. He is still ethically responsible to help you financially, and legally responsible, but until something gets written down there's no way to enforce anything. You need a lawyer. That B&B he bought, if he did it with marital funds, then it's just as much yours as it is his. And just because he has a gf and they live together, doesn't mean he has to pay her way, meaning he has no funds left to help support you and your children. That's total BS, if that's what he's saying. She's part of "discretionary income", like going out to dinner. He's not obligated to support her or her kids, he IS obligated to support you and your children. Divorcing couples are to maintain financial status quo, meaning paychecks don't all of the sudden disappear, bank accounts don't drain to $0, credit cards don't get left unpaid, etc. Children are supposed to have near the same standard of living during and post-divorce as they did before divorce.

You can put your lawyer's retainer fee on a credit card. If you don't have one in your own name, now is the time to get one. While you're still married, you can include his income on your application, but only put the card in your name. Do this asap, as in before you do anything else.

Then, put together a list of questions to ask attorneys, and call a few and schedule an initial consultation. Most last an hour and are free of charge. You can get some decent answers this way and find one who seems to suit you. Read up on everything you can on the web regarding divorce laws in your state. The more informed you are, the better decisions you will make, now and in the future. FYI, if your husband has already consulted with an attorney, or a number of them, then they will not speak with you, due to conflict of issue rules. This is another reason not to wait to file.

You can do this.

Every state has different rules and regulations
On divorce. Many states are no fault, after so many
Years its 50-50 split, some get alimony some don't,

Many now share custody 50-50 so things can get
Tight financially. The financials are a very important
part Of the whole process.

Some can use mediators/lawyers combo to help
Expediate the process. Traditionally with regular
lawyers Involved it takes on an average of 10 months
start To finish.

Some People do a "do it yourself divorce" That
good For mature and honest couple that just want to
Split up. My ex wanted that i did not trust him one
Bit and hired my own atttorney. I Had already spoken
to her a year earlier. He served me within the week
With his own attorney he had hired.

When they are checked out and cheating, they are
Out for number one and that is not you. They want
Their lifestyle to stay the same and if you suffer no
Big deal not their problem they have moved on.
HUGS

I didn't have the money for the B&B, I am pretty sure he got the money from her. I have one credit card, but it's only $1,500. I will call to see if they will up the limit. I know I found out that he will have to give me support for half the time we were married so at least for 10 years. But do those laws apply to him since he has moved out of state? I don't even know what to ask a lawyer.

I was researching the do it yourself divorce but he makes a lot of money and doesn't want me to have it. I am entitled to it, aren't I?

If it's in his name, it's half yours.

Just make some appointments and tell them your situation and explain that you want to know your rights and what you're entitled to