I would say my dear girl that he has a lot more explaining to do. If he still is certain that he wants a divorce or trial separation I would not make it so easy for him to do so. Get yourself a lawyer and take care of your finances along with the well being of your son whether he's a good father or not. I think things will work out for you even after a divorce, but I just want you to talk to a lawyer in order to protect yourself in every way possible. It could very well be that you married to young, etc. I don't know all of the details, but talking for only an hour or so and then moving out is absurd. I hope you have family to lean on or a close friend. If not I am here for you. Take good care.

Thank you so much! I am forty years old and we were together since we were 24. I decided to make him easy. I m a proud person and I won’t beg or ask for explanation if he doesn’t want to. I feel so sad... my family and good friends are far away...

My son is in shock as well because he thought we were in love... never experienced any fight...

You wrote - " I m a proud person and I won’t beg or ask for explanation if he doesn’t want to"

Why the heck not?? This is YOUR marriage and you two have a son together and you and your son are owed a real explanation. Not this "he needs to find himself" stuff. He can "find himself" while he is married. I do think you should insist on the REAL reason. Tell him it is for your son's sake, and also for your own closure.

Did you notice anything different 2 months ago?

I know you are right... but after I was believing that he was in love with me until summer I cant stand to hear any other cruel words from him for the moment. I try to take a breath and go and finish it... but you are so right.. thank you...

Nothing different happened 2 months ago. I just asked him how he was and he told me that he couldn’t find himself at home and it’s better to live home... the next day I had arranged everything... How to tell the child etc and told him to go. But with no arguments...

After being together 17 years, coupled with having a child together, this is a hard thing to go through. I can only imagine the range of emotions you are experiencing right now. I suggest reaching out to a trusted person or professional for wisdom and guidance, if needed. This might help trigger important and needed conversations. It’s perfectly normal to feel the way you are right now. I know it’s not easy right now but STAY strong. I will be praying or your comfort and strength…and wisdom in this situation. Love and hugs.

He owes you, and you guys' son, an explanation. Tell him that.

See if he is open to going to marriage counseling.

While he does owe his wife an explanation for why he is leaving, chances are it won't do any good if Xrisa gets one.

Most people who leave long term relationships are already seeing someone else. Or at the very least strongly interested in someone. But usually it seems there is full cheating going on.

The explanation he gave is that he needs to "find himself". That's a common one! If you keep pushing, maybe he'll say that you've just "grown apart"; another good one. You have different goals, etc. I doubt he is going to come right out and say "I'm cheating on you."

So IMO, yes he owes you an explanation but I doubt you are going to get the whole truth, and I doubt the explanation is going to make you feel better.

Best wishes to you. It's brutal but you will get through it. My marriage (after 19 years together) ended in a similar way when my ex-wife had just "grown apart". Of course she was cheating. They almost always are.

Wow... you sound like me 4 years ago. I was devastated, and the only advice I can give is when they walk out, they have emotionally left along time before. My husband swore at the time of separation that there was no-one else, but that turned out to not be true. We were together for 20 years. If the conversation is not about your son, give yourself 90 days to get yourself together. It does get better...... I promise.I met a wonderful man after I moved on from my husband. But they will try to play on your feelings, I know mine did.

Thank you all for the support!! The “other” person was the first rhat came to my mind.. but he refused it. The truth is that had no signs for that. He never went out by himself. We did everything together until the day he left. He went to see a psychiatrist which I never thought he would. He was against them.., and this made me think that indeed is sth wrong with him. The feelings I have are so strong. I know I ll get better but I have so many chances to do that I see a wall in front of me. I will probably have to change city, work and everything I have build all these years... and I don’t know where to start.. thank you all

I've heard that relationships without any fights are actually bad because it means the two parties involved are not comfortable enough to bring up disagreements, and that people aren't as close as other couples who sometimes fight... I would say maybe give him some space as clearly that's what he literally wants by getting another house, but focus on yourself because that's the only thing that you can do at this time, and can't control him. It's gonna suck real bad and hurt and first instinct is to bother and pull him back.... but the way to possibly get him back is give him his space.

foundlove: Interesting, my marriage had very few fights. And yes, not bringing up disagreements did eventually lead to resentment. Sometimes fights get all the "crap" out and reset the environment, so to speak. I'm still not good at it though.

Xrisa, good if there are no signs of a (physical) affair. He could be having an emotional affair online. Do you have access to his phone, email, computer? If not, has that changed at all recently? Best wishes.

I’m a guy and I’ve felt this way before. It’s just that my wife and I got into the same dull routine.

So, instead of separation, we double date with some of our friends that also have kids like us.

Also, I go out with the guys a couple times a month to get away from everything.

Every so often, we’ll go on an expensive date.

But overall, sex is good so who cares. :)