Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Hello all! Happy turkey day!
So,
I am 47, and after being deeply unhappy in my marriage, divorced my husband after 24 years.
Neither of us has a future, any savings, retirement. We leave our children debt. I take care of my 78 year old father who is partially paralyzed after a stroke, and am treated like an annoyance they endure to get the perks of meals made. I feel unloved. I feel like my own children are hostile. I feel emotionally abused by him, as he is a war refugee w PTSD and thrives on conflict. I don't feel like a woman. I don't feel like he wants to flirt or charm me. He just dumps on me. Complains, challenges, acts as a giant joykill.
Never brings up a single fucking topic that doesn't make me want to leave the room.
As codependent people are, we rely on each other to commiserate. He has been my miserable home base for decades.
Then I fell in love..with a celebrity catfish
Ugh
My brother died, I couldn't handle nursing so let my license expire. I think about killing myself more than healthy.. I think everyone entertains the idea sometimes, like imma bounce, go fuck yourself
Then you get a grip and reckon the reality
Thing is, I have been swimming in this catfish drama for almost a year now. I fell so hard for this guy, my hero, my shining light on the mount, that I made horrible decisions. I was so brainwashed by this delusion, so ready to give up on life and love and just everything
Then they promise everything is better now, they're here. I will take care of your dad. You are the most precious thing to me. I love you. You are desirable. You are the only one.
He sent a gold ring in the mail in heart shape (not real gold,), that we had a sexting thing going and he literally asked for my social security number as the next thing after he climaxed.
Ugh
After the first one wanted my final survival money left in my breakup, to "arrange a meet & greet", and presumably come to take me out for my birthday, I started to see the horrible truth.
So I started talking to a number of them, hoping to land on the real one somehow, get closure or illumination, or maybe see if I had a real shot, or get properly shot down. I am not successful, famous or flawless, but have a unique charm and beauty so why the fuck not?
Of course this has turned into an addiction. It becomes a mental preoccupation that I feel I am in love with a man who will never know I exist. That I don't get the real man, just taken as a mark. It has killed my self esteem. I felt like an undiscovered star, on the cusp of a magical thing that bent fate itself, to something pathetic and exploited. I don't know what to do with my feelings. I don't know how to dig out.
I can't fix myself emotionally. I feel more torn up over this not real romance than my actual failed marriage.
How mental am I? How do I fix it?
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I'm horrified! I knew my insurance would go up due to getting a new car but I didn't expect it to go up over $2,000. I did have an accident with the snow/ice in the winter. I was just telling my brother that I have had my car since March 2, 2026 and have only spent $75 on an oil change. Now this! I called another insurance company and their quote was over $4,000. I guess I have to pay...
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Clearly, you can see the parts of your life that need to be fixed, and now you can make plans to slowly get your life in a healthier place.
Please don't give out any personal information (social security numbers, your mailing address, etc) to anyone on those dating sites. Lots of catfishers and other bad dangerous people on there.... as you have noticed.
Fine to talk/chat with people on those sites, but please do not give out personal information AT ALL until you meet them in person at the very least.
Try to make plans, ask siblings for help with your Father, call up friends and family for help.
Have you looked into therapy? It can be so helpful to talk to a therapist and they help you with plans to get your life more together. You are on the right track. You will be okay, Best wishes.
1. Consider therapy for your father. You are doing a wonderful job for him and do not deserve this treatment. Personally, my wife and I let her mother who had multiple strokes live in our home. However, she arranged for separate help and generally respected us. When problems arose they were not deliberate (we woke one night to find 2 police officers shining a flashlight on us at 2:00 A.M. because she got confused thinking it was day and no one woke her up)
2. Realize you don't need to quickly find another man. Take things slowly.
3. Try to make a little progress each day at solving problems, be positive as much as possible, get some exercise, and try to start a therapy program.
God this sucks.. I feel so heartbroken and wish a real man had shown me love instead of getting played, where i never got the passion or taken on a date, or lifted out of the dark, just thrown away like the nonexistent person i am to him
I'm sorry you are going through this. I know it hurts. But isn't it better to find out now, rather than later, if things had progressed? It would have hurt 100 times more.
Would it be possible to go places to meet men in real life? I know it is not as easy as it sounds, but do you have any friends that would go with you out to places where men are (sporting events, parks on weekend days, bars, clubs, church) and that way, you at least know you are not being catfished. You will see the person right in front of you. I think meeting men in real life would really be good for you.
If it helps any, I think those guys online are/were playing games, probably married, could even be little kids posing as adults, women posing as men.... it is so hard to tell who you are really talking to online.
I hope you will consider meeting people in real life. Volunteering is a great place to meet new friends, dates. Especially this time of year, they have all kinds of volunteer activities. Let me know if you need help locating some.