My name is Brooke, I’m 23. And Chris is 41z we’ve been together 3 years and during the first year he cheated on me twice. I caught him on his phone. And when we started getting really addicted to heroin/fetanyl our sex drive went away. But now we’re clean and it’s coming back slowly. Now we don’t have to have sex but lately I’ve been feeling like he’s not even attracted to me anymore. He never tells me he finds me beautiful or pretty. Even though I tell him all the time. And honestly he basically treats me like a teenager who does everything for him instead of an equal partner. All I wanted was to be noticed and know he still finds me attractive. Especially when I bought new clothes and modeled them. His responses were “looks fine” or “nah don’t like it” he keeps saying I’m getting fat from eating junk when I’ve got a normal body and he’s bigger than me.
When we’ve talked about past relationships we both admitted we used to cheat all the time and being with each other was different the. Our old relationships. He told me his girls were always bringing up marriage and how he’s lie to them to make them happy. But for the first time he said he wanted to marry me first a while ago. And now it feels like Since he seems so serious now I do want to get married and he’s acting like he’s not interested in me at all anymore and it kills me.... so I made a huge mistake and texted one of my ex’s and we were exchanging nudes and talking about hooking up again which hasn’t happened but the texts are still there. He read them and is pissed. He’s claiming he wants to break up and have me leave but once I start packing he gets me to stop (that’s happened before lol) so idk what to do. I’ve brought up how I’ve been feeling and how I never left when he psychically cheated.
also what you need to know about Chris is he’s not the best at talking or expressing himself. It’s almost like he’s got the few emotions or tones of anger, regular talking, or tasing his voice, or just being a dick. And when I call him out on it he’ll say he’s not that’s just how he talks. I do everything for him. His needs always come first but he buys me a lot of stuff too, but honestly all I really want right now to feel like he’s not lying like how he lied to his ex’s about marriage and truly loving me and finding me beautiful. I’m bi so when we see a hot girl on the street we both say something and I just want him to say those things about me when I show off a new outfit or ask how I look. Or even randomly to just show he still loves me and is not gonna get bored with me. 3 years is a long relationship for me but he was with someone so lied to and didn’t like for 12!!! So you can hopefully see my concern. I just don’t know what to do. When it’s great it’s great. I just can’t lose him. :/ so... any advice or help?
I dont know what it is but I always have really bad anxiety at night. I feel like someone is out to get me and kill me in my sleep. every little movement scares me, it might just be my mom moving around going to the bathroom but i still get so scared. Its bad that i made a plan. So i have a knife in my room, i wish i could sleep with it to have it closer to me. but im a crazy sleeper and i might...
83 and 80 years old!