Be careful. In my area, the judge will look at the precedent. The precedent meaning how much have you been giving her prior to coming to court. It will show you agree with that amount and can afford it. Her attorney probably told her to try to get more money. On the other hand, if you think she may really be having trouble living on $6000, ask for a list of expenses and a copy of credit card and bank statements. Evaluate it yourself.

There is a rate sheet from the lawyers... go get one. It gives you a pretty good idea what is coming. It takes your annual income, her annual income, and then minus the lesser, and comes up with a number based on the answer. Ifyou could follow that... your' pretty smart.. lol

Depends on a few things I suppose, but without knowing the details of the situation - all I can say is my STBX has NOTHING TO BITCH ABOUT when I ask for $1500 a month.

How did this thread get moved up again. it makes me bitter! $6000/month would go a long way here in Podunk. I'd sell a kidney for $6000 a month. Well, maybe not a kidney, but, you get my point!

My suggestion would be that you ask her for a list of her expenses...then add a little because things always come up (birthday parties, unexpected bills, incidentals that aren't purchased often). Tell her to try to include any entertainment, etc. I have two teenagers who are always on the go with friends, play sports, and am trying to maintain THEIR lifestyle. My son still attends his private school (I pay), both still have clothes like their friends, still have their gadgets. As for myself...I cut back...I had to. I bought a MUCH smaller/not as nice home though I drive the same car with a HUGE car payment (it wasn't in my (or the kids) best interest to sell it..upside down loan at the time). My instinct tells me that $6000 should be plenty to support a household with one adult & 3 kids but you also want to make sure that there is enough money so your kids aren't affected...but I'd probably just tell her that I'd pay for this activity or that one when she doesn't have the money...I'd also suggest that she make a budget...she's spending too much money somewhere likely.

Unfortunately, most people are highly in-debt. I bet your ex is too and has a lot of credit accounts to pay for. I hope you do not have to pay all her debt. Time to get her on a credit management program and make sure the lawyer's don't make you pay all her debt off.

6000$ a month is enough for a family to live on... That is 72k a year. My best year was 28k... to date. The best year that my ex-wife and I had together was about 60k, but did not have a lot of debt, so we could do about whatever we wanted.

My stbx doesn't keep any debt especially credit card debt. She pays everything off. The only loan we have is the mortgage, which is not that much.

My lawyer told me not to give her any more money.

She must justify why she can't live on $6,000.

wish I had that to live on and raise four kids on

You need to tell her to sit down with a financial advisor and see why she can't live on 6000 a month. That should be enough for anyone unless the mortgage is more than half that. Even then if she is having a hard time she needs to look at what needs to be done to correct it. Her finances are no longer your problem.

I'll tell you the reason I couldn't live on that. College bills: $52,000.00 a year. Mortage: $3,500.00 a month. Utilities: $1,200.00 a month. Food: $1,000.00 a month. Gasoline: $1,000.00 a month for my car and 3 kids cars. Property taxes: $650.00 a month. Plus flights for kids, books for college, entertainment, house repairs, and all of the misc. things that are life. As soon as I get this huge house sold that I don't need or want anymore, prices will go down but college costs are there for the next four years.

My stbx insisted we have this house and our kids go to all of these colleges. Now he his crying poor. Too bad so sad. He makes great money. If you heard what the judge gave me in alimony, you would have a heart attack. We own a company so that's why he is able to make great money. Problem for him is that it is half mine.

She has to grow up.... she has to get on with her life and start to support herself.

This thread is making me laugh out loud and cry at the same time.

yes...I will repeat what I said about that slipperly slope and forking over too much money...so good man...listen to your lawyer.

as for the laughing and crying moment...how I would love to get even 1/2 of that money.
It is a struggle for me...and I am making it do on little in the most expensive city in Canada...so I think your STBEX can manage.

Do the right thing and take care of your children and their needs.

We all have to understand ...we need to comprehend the difference between OUR NEEDS versus OUR WANTS.

PS: I bet his girl friend is crying now.

I agree with ZXJ. What kind of lifestyle did the two of you have during the marriage. I know that it has been difficult for me because I was accustom to living a certain lifestyle.

we didn't have an extravagant lifestyle at all, I thought. I always felt guilty spending any money because my stbx kept track of all the money.

We spent what we wanted and as long as we can pay it off at the end of the month.

well SLD.. I am very happy for you...and you deserve what you got.

Just not all of us live that lifestyle or could afford to. Not everyone owns a family company and gets half.

I have a mortgage, utilities, taxes to pay...I choose to keep the house.
Most of us here have to make the best of what we have. I could of sold the house and paid for the full blown messy court divorce...and paid out the lawyers 80K....gotten 70% of everything and 20 years of spousal support and 1/2 of his pension...Canadian law here.

I choose to take 1/2 ...and mediate...I have a house now..my mortgage.. a home for my children...we live within our means...and he pays out child support. I bartered the pension, spousal and a bag of cash for the house.

I am taking control of my life....and I am aware of how much my Ex is worth...there was no point in trying to bleed a rock.

I do not fault people who get good sums of spousal support..I think the priority for some of us is child support. Thank goodness it is legislated law here, based on ones income.