well... that's complicated... have your kids allways done these activities?

Where I live is very expensive....

School: $2053 a month
House: over $3000 a month
gas: $4.67 a gallon
health Ins. mine is paid by company for but I pay $890.00 a month for 3 ( 1 stbx and 2 kids)
then there food, water, eletric, etc...etc,... etc....

It's all relative to the place.

I wish you th best and your kids as well... I do not know what is best for your situation, but do it with love for your kids.

My advice...don't give her more than she is asking for at this point. Continue giving her $2,000/month and wait for instructions from your lawyer.

Yes..divorces cost a lot..and I paid for mine.
I do not receive alimony..but the children do get the minimum court ordered support as per Canadian law. It is based on their father's income...his declared income on his tax return.

there will be more demand from your STBEX if you continue to fork out money.. you will be sending out a bad precedent if you give in to every one of her calls for assistance.

what happens if your transmission gives out or you have a set back and need quick funds?... will you call her?

I do not know if she is working or able to work...or the ages of your children. I do think if they are in Hebrew school and you want them to continue their religious education then you should consider making concessions on that.

do as your lawyer suggests..within reason.

bottomline here.. well.. WHAT THE HELL DOES SHE NEED $6k FOR?...and what the hell do you do for a living that makes her think that is reasonable?

I live on 1/3 of that and I have 3 kids in tow. I am working part time..is there something preventing your STBEX from stepping up and pulling her own weight?...she made her bed...now let her boyfriend support her.
You can support your children.

here is a link for you:
http://www.njlawnet.com/njlawreview/divorceoverview.html#25

I would love to know what you and SLD do to make so much money. My goodness....$6000 is more than we make and I thought we were pretty well off! While I agree that each area dictates how much the cost of living is...what I want to know is how do people who make a "normal" salary survive in those places?

You've got to be kidding - I must have really gotten shafted - I was married 29 years and all I get is $650 from my ex...

Only you know the situation and what your state laws say about alimony, child support, etc. If you are being realistic, then, yes, she needs to be realistic also. It may not be as much as "she" had when you were married, but well, who says divorce is supposed to be easy??? We all have to give and take a little.

Well I would say that $130. a day bring home Is sufficient no matter the life style. 75% of America dream of having a mostly disposable income like that. I would say she is typically spoiled and has her head deeply stuck up in some dark spot.

I think you are not looking at the whole picture. The kind of lifestyle your ex and kids are used to play a major role in the outcome. When my husband and I separated I asked him for $1600 a month and he thought I was nuts. Well his kids are used to buying whatever they see in a store, they enjoy sports and activities in a weekly basis that require, of course, alot of money. It is very hard on a family, especially on a mother to start all over again and keep the children at the financial level they were previously priviledged to have.
I don't agree with you giving her more money for the time being. But if you really want this resolved prior to the divorse to avoid over paying or paying too little, you should talk to an attorney and file a support document that is approved by a judge in the meantime.

I asked for $600 a month and I am apparantly a money hungry, greedy, b$tch!?!?! So I think $6000 is more than fair.

Nobody said divorce is easy - she cannot expect for YOU to maintain HER lifestyle on the same status as it was when you were married. You can pay for the kids needs - take them shopping for school, enroll them in sports, etc. I agree with the tape recorder and write everything down. Is there any chance you could get primary residency of the kids since it appears you are the breadwinner?

And, as far as the restraining order goes, I dont think her parents are allowed to call you - it goes both ways - that would be indirect contact. Not allowed.

In my opinion life after/during divorce involves change for everyone. The expectation that your lifestyle will be the same is completely unrealistic. Your kids are young if I am not mistaken so the education costs should not be expensive unless they are in private school. With both of you working I am kind of surprised you have to pay anything but child support.
$72K a year is more than enough to live on given the median household income is probably $50K. If those are after tax dollars than there are certainly no complaints to be made.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Personal_Household_Income_U.png

I am trying to look at this from both sides. As a woman who was abruptly left with no warning...a week after moving into a brand new house with a huge mortgage payment...I feel my stbx made his bed and should have to sleep in it. I shouldn't have to move my daughter and myself into a tiny apartment (which is about all I could afford) and completely change our lifestyle just because he found a 23 year old to sleep with. On the other hand, there is only so much money to go around and since my daughter spends alternate weekends with him I want him to be able to live someplace decent.

Well it sounds like it is alot of money. But it would depend on the lifestyle she is use to living in. Also the number of children she is supporting. After a divorce I do not believe one person should have to suffer a big change in their lifestyle.

I agree that it is NOT fair for one party to maitain their lifestyle while the other party's lifestyle takes a hit. My stbx quit his job and maintains that he can't work because he has headaches. He wants me to pay him alimony so he can maintain his lifestyle. If that happens his lifestyle is maintain while mine is not. I would have to live in this rathole rental and drive the beater car the rest of my life while he and the ow live off my salary. Something is not right if you ask me.

I thought after a divorce both parties would be equal, but that isn't so. Even though I was used to living at a certain level, at a certain income, once we were divorced I was pretty much on my own income. The judge awarded me a very small amount of alimony - but my entire life has changed and his hasn't. By the way- he doesn't pay tax on the alimony but I will have to.

How many children do you have? How many people is $6000 supporting? .. and how much are you living on for one person?

We have three kids and they 10, 8, and 4 years old.