Wow, this is heated. Disarm, I take some offense at what you're saying; I am bi and going by what other people on here say to judge me is wrong. I don't appreciate being called immoral or a slut. I have never even had a boy or girlfriend, hardly anyone knows I'm bi, and I'm in no hurry to tell anyone. I think you're focusing on how bisexual has become trendy and any girl can do it for attention. For me, it's just who I am. I restate; the subject was do gays hate bis? No ones saying all gays hate bis and no ones saying just gays hate bis. I think hlks was just confused that a group of people who are discriminated against can be discrimintory. That's all.

I've tried to read each and every post in this discussion, and I honestly think that this particular thread should come to an end if we can't get along. Remember the promise "In adding this Comment, I Brenda9 (or whomever), do promise to be nice"? There are a lot of hackles standing up in this discussion. Calm down, people.

Can we not all agree that morality is to be found within the individual person, regardless of their sexuality? (This can also be said of an accepting nature.) A promiscuous person is a promiscuous person, gay, bi or straight. Can we not also all agree that the younger people who post on here, the teenagers just trying to figure themselves out, may not yet even understand morality, AND also make up a large part of the postings? As adults, all we can do is help guide them.

If you take only the comments made by bisexual adults who are in committed relationships, I think you will find that the majority have just as high moral standards as anyone else in this world, again regardless of their sexuality.

Being bisexual doesn't automatically mean you want to "have your cake and eat it too". Some do, so do some straight people, so do some gay people. I am bisexual, and for me, and many others whom I've met on here, it simply means that I could have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, or someone of the same sex. I'm married to a man. He knows and accepts my bisexuality, but I am monogamous, and so is he. I would never THINK of stepping out on him with anyone. Not because I'm a good bisexual, but because I am a good PERSON.

As for gays hating bis... well, again... that just has to do with the individual character of the person. Hate is an awful thing, no matter who you are. I don't "hate" anyone for simply being who there are. It's a ridiculous notion, and one I find that is more easily adopted by people who are unhappy with themselves more than anything.

If someone is taking offense to what I've said then that is their problem because I haven't made any personal attacks...I've made generalizations....I've questioned one persons actions and she's explained and that was the end of that and I do apologize to HLKS. Other than that, I have NOT named anyone's names, although if they have read this post, they know who they are. I'm not focusing on how its become "trendy" I don't give a shit on the trendiness of bisexuality. Do you know how old I am? Do you know WHERE I go to school? There is NO trendiness in bisexuality where I am....NONE whatsoever. I am not stuck in highschool-land like you are shalynn so that is not the case with me.

I think it is GROSSLY irresponsibly to be offering support to people who want to experiment with bisexuality when they are in committed relationships and I see that over and over again on this board. Yeah, so you attack me and say that is just my own version of morality. But nobody stops to think about what the partner of the bisexual person is feeling....they just had this new situation thrown upon them. What about them? Nobody stops to consider their feelings. Everyone just tells the bisexual person to "go for it"....and has no consideration for the larger ramifications of things....but all I am trying to say is THINK about what you do before you do it......do you know who you may be hurting if you are already in a relationship? Yeah, if you're free, of course, go for it! No problems there....So I know I am going to be attacked yet again for this post....whatever...I am the minority here....most of you are younger than me....and haven't been through what I've been through...

Well, I was unhappy about the generalizations. Those usually do not turn out to be true.

As for morals and partners, again, you're making a generalization. Why do you assume the partner does not know? People make compromises, marriages go on... Especially with same-sex affairs, especially women... they get a pass much more easily than others.

You are obviously involved in a situation you find morally objectinable. I feel for you, and I support you in standing up for your morals.

disarm, as heated as this has become, i think you're the only one who is really angry or upset here. generalizations can in fact be hurtful and offensive. In fact, most generalizations are.

i've seen many of the posts you're talking about where someone who is bisexual and in a relationship wants to see someone else.. and while yes, there is a lot of support.. i've never seen anybody disregard the partner's feelings. many of the posts do specifically say that the partner is okay with it.. ones that say otherwise, i see many many replies saying no, you can't do that if your partner says no. so I don 't think that people are just being apathetic towards the feelings of the partners... but if the partner is OKAY with it and even encourages it, then where's the harm or the problem?

i'm not attacking you, but I think you're misunderstanding and making assumptions that just aren't true. i'm sorry that you've been through something that's caused you pain.. if a partner cheated on you with a sam sex partner... mine has too.. but cheating is without permission and when the partner isn't comfortable. and that is always ALWAYS wrong. you've read my journal (since you knew i was involved with poly) so you know what i went through and how horrible it was... and i could never let my husband see someone else again.. but for someone who IS okay with it and who isn't hurt by it, then that's a different story.

I don't think that gays hate bisexuals but i think that many people, both gay and straight need to be educated that many people fall in between the extreme ends of the Kinsey Scale. If you define bisexuality as describing anyone who falls ANYWHERE between exclusively gay or straight, then bisexuals are VERY common If, on the other hand, you define bisexuals as being EQUALLY attracted to both genders, as many people see it, such people ARE rare. Most bisexuals are somewhat to one end or the other. For example, i self-identify as bisexual, but i tend to be more likely to be attracted to women then men. My close friend, on the other hand, self-identifies as bisexual, too, but he is more likely to be attracted to a man than a woman. So most bisexuals tend to look toward one gender or another for partners, but not exclusively.

rich, you're right in that i think bisexuality is extremely common. I'm not even sure if I believe in exclusively gay or exclusively straight as studies have shown that straight men and women can be aroused by homosexual porn and the opposite is also true for those who identify as gay. i think gay or straight just means that you mostly like one gender or the other. i've heard so many people, both gay and straight, say.. well, i thought i was _______ but then I met this person!

hlks - now we start talking about 'lifestyles', like people who are 'straight by default'. That would be all the people who have the potential to be bi-, but are cultured to be hetero-, never had an experience that would challenge that (sufficiently), and for whom it would be a hardship to come out as bi- anyway. I think those are legions. And - nothing wrong with it, either.

cb, yes, precisely.

Amen to that

Okaaaay...I am in high school and I wasn't attacking you and I've just talked it over at school with friends about it being a trend. Sorry. I wasn't trying to start anything.

hlks, I apologize if I offended you or anyone else or attributed to the anger on here. I honestly wasn't trying to. I think I'll just take myself out of this discussion altogether. i hope your question was answered, hlks.

I think what upset me most about the movie Chasing Amy, (Though I love the flick) is that the concept of Bi-sexual never entered into it.
I've been shunned by both the straight and gay communities, I suppose for not "deciding" on which side of the fence to live. I'm gay to the straight crowd, and not gay enough to the gay community.
The gay community, for all it's "accept-us-for-who-we-are" slogans, is damnably negative on the topic of being bi. However, I've found that it's a matter of familiarity. The more involved I am in the community (i am ordained & perform gay weddings) the more accepted bi's are in the community.

I have personally experienced quite a bit of biphobia since I came out. I think its facilitated by the invisibiity of bi people. As a woman if you are with a man you are assumed to be straight, or gay if you are with a woman. Earlier in the year when I was with my ex and we were asked not to stay somewhere because we were a same sex couple friends described it as the 'homeless lesbian saga'. I was clear that I was bi and not gay but nonetheless they found it easier to describe it in those terms.

I think the most venomous biphobia comes from the gay community itself, and I think part of it comes down to people believing that bisexual people make it look like people can choose their orientation.

I am starting to think that identifing as bisexual has been a transition for me. I think I may be gay. I am OK with that. I also believe that for some people its their (at least somewhat permanent) orientation. However I end up identifying I am a person that wants a relationship with only one other person (be they a man or a woman) and would expect that commitment in return. I don't believe that bisexual people are less capable of that commitment than straight or gay people.

I think that the LGBTQ community needs to realise that hateful sentiments aimed at someone on grounds of their sexual orientation are always wrong. Whether they are aimed at straight, gay, lesbian, queer, questioning or bisexual people. There are just no two ways about it. There is no place for hate in our movement, and biphobia is as unacceptable as homophobia. What we are fighting for is a world in which people are not judged, hated or oppressed for who they love. That applies to all of us.

Well stated, Chick

Yes I have noticed that too...Though I do know a bi sexual lady who has been in a relationship with a lesbian lady for 14 yrs...

My friend had to choose between staying with her lesbian partner or her man friend...Of course she had been with her partner for 14 yrs & the man 3 yrs...He feels he was the casualty...