there's another factor....like, when scammers come looking for targets- they don't hit on the private profiles, in my experience- so that's nice

what dillytime said. I never got an offer from a scammer x

Point taken

BUT i still havnt heard from any of the NEW folk???

Hiding from? Same boat? No we aren't all in the same boat. I have my reasons for now being on private and it's not about hiding - it's about protecting myself from certain DS - bullshit.

I get to know people on the boards- profiles don't offer much more than a small peek at the who? The what? Whys? That led them to DS.

It's all about the boards...... private or not. I have to say if I was a new member and read this- not sure it would make me want to be more "open" . Just saying.............

whatever, your new OR not, you request a friendship, BUT you profile is private so why in the hell would i or anyone say yes??????

After re-considering...I guess like everything else on DS, it's a matter of personal opinion and needs .

BACON anyone ?

All I know is, one day I came on DS and everyone I tried to hug had a private profile. WTF?? Blew my mind. All of my friends were not my friends anymore.

If that happens to anyone else, logging on helps.

Well, once again a member makes a great point.
I have received Hugs or a comment on a Topic, where I would have liked to send a HUG reply...but the person has a Private profile...I'm stuck, and can't HUG back

I hear you, Dee. When I came back last week or whenever, I thought about setting it to private, but A) I knew I'd be known by some people pretty quick, and B) I knew I would want to send out some friend requests and how could I do so if my profile were set to private...I felt like, how could the other person read about me and know who I was, etc. BUT, the reason I wanted to set it to private is because of the people who go out of their way to read other people's hugbooks. I know that such people are out there. They've told me flat out that they do it. I know they've done it to me. It's not a paranoia thing. So go on and say what you will, some of you, but that's a lot of it right there. Some of you out there read hugbooks and snoop, and some of us don't like it.

Nevertheless, I chose to keep my profile open.

I agree with you!!! 100%

There is a sub-culture behind the board drama, blows my mind, feels creepy - but I also leave mine open, for all the same reasons you mentioned!

old joke, if they're talking about me, they are giving someone else a break! LOL

Richard you can set your journal entry to DS Friends Only if you are afraid of the eavesdroppers.

I don't know what sub culture you are on about Gina??

This place is the funnest, warmest, friendliest place on Earth!!!!!

AND it's a vile cesspool full of backstabbers and two-faced liars!!!!
(Sometimes, THREE-faced liars!!!!)

I don't accept friendships anywhere near as easily as I used to (as CarlaBent, I mean.)
I've only gotten fucked over a few times.
But a few times is more than enough.

Eulenspiegel will have no truck with plots!!! (Sheldon Cooper reference.) So, no 'official' friends.
But lots of 'regular' friends!!

I'm considering killing CarlaBent off.

But in the old days, I'd accept them all, private or not!!!

Some of them were my friends for a good 2 minutes!!!!
Long enough for me to accept, look at their profile, see that it was a man with 500 friends, all female, and then poke the 'Remove as Friend' button.

Others turned out to be perfectly lovely people!!

Ehh, it's just a personal choice and there are plenty of good reasons for going either way!!

I don't PM private people very often, as I assume they probably don't want to be bothered, but if they dare to Hug me, then they run the risk of me PM-ing them in order to thank them!!!!

LOL!!!! That would be funny if they hugged me and then got mad because I PMed them and then they put me on Ignore, LOL!!!!!

I prefer it to be private because im sneaky. ;)

We have some pretty huge ego's taking the lead here, people. Why would you think anyone cares what is in your hugs? Much less waste their time 'snooping'? Strange that one. Your hugs are only interesting to YOU - nobody else cares.

Also, if anyone says they have never read another person's hugs, they are not being honest. How can you help seeing the one under yours?

I do understand why some feel the need to have a private profile. It's a personal choice.

I am a good lurker. For the record I am NEW here. My profile is NOT set private or friends only and even if it were set for one of those two settings I wouldn't think it was anyone's business here, nor would I give a crap as to who it may or may not hurt. There are days, weeks and times LIKE NOW when I have enough of my own crap to handle. Therefore your disapproval or approval of my choice in settings would be the least of my concern. I am disgusted that some people would accuse others of having over inflated egos. That was wrong and judgmental. Everyone has their own reasons for doing so and no one HAD to answer this post. Instead of basically making someone feel bad or attacked for their honesty, when they owed no explanation, perhaps you could have tried just accepting their explanation. This thread started out okay but I now wish one of the Community leaders would close it.