Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
I'm so suicidal and no one seems to wanna help me? My parents think I'm kidding when I say it. My shrink just gives me more meds that don't work. I started packing things and writing goodbye notes to my parents and family members. I've called the 1-800-suicide line like every day to talk. The only thing keeping me alive is I can't kill myself. My mom has my pills in Topeka and I get tested every week to make sure I'm on them and not stashing them. I don't know what to do because I've lost everyone I care about and the few people I thought cared think it's a joke and I will get over it when the meds actually start kicking in. Any advice?
here is an exerp from my diary when i was suicidal
"... today is the day... maybe i'll just go to sleep and never wake up... no, that won't happen... what if i just drive my car off of a cliff.. that will be fast, but what if i don't die and stay a vegetable for the rest of my life... God please take me, please, please, please, i beg you... i pray that i will be with you in the morning when i wake up and this agony will be over..."
AFTER I GOT WELL... this is a poem that I write...
called "On the other side..."
On the other side of darkness,
i breathe lightness, wind.
And sweet melodies ring blossoms,
through their brightness,
spring.
Here the colors slowly melt,
the blue sky,
sunrise.
Singing sweet old melodies,
that have rang
forever,
love.
And i find you here,
flying,
in the timeless swing.
In the yellows, greens and halos,
playing shadows, dreams.
And I pray to God that this,
sweet old song will last.
And ring true
with brightness,
singing grace,
and bliss.
Please get help and go to the hospital right now... YOU WILL FEEL BETTER>>> just hang in there and get help right now!!!!
I have patients who, when not on the right treatments, have been in and out of the hospital, lived on the streets, multiple suiciadal attemts, promiscuous... AFter they got the right treatment (and sometimes it takes time to get there), they have happy, stable lives with family, children...
DON"T EVER GIVE UP....
Part of the reason I decided to become a family medicine doctor was because of people like yourself, who thought that no one cares about them and there is no hope... THERE IS HOPE--- I HAVE SEEN IT MYSELF. I have had patients who have come in and couldn't thank us enough for literally SAVING THEM...
with love,
Kristina