Bipolar Disorder Support Group
Bipolar disorder is not just a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders marked by periods of abnormally high energy and euphoria, often accompanied by bouts of clinical depression. This is the place to talk about your experience with bipolar disorder, learn from others' experiences, and find support.
In 2013 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. About a month ago my psychiatrist put me on an ant-depressant to help with suicidal thoughts. About two weeks ago the medication put me into a manic state. I let my therapist and pdoc know I was shoplifting and displaying manic symptoms. They adjusted my meds. The manic behavior didn't subside and I called my pdoc Wed and Fri telling her my behavior still wan't under control. She said she could see me next Friday.
Yesterday I shoplifted three times at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I went on a rampage out of nowhere. The first time I put a blanket and two pillows in a cart and just walked out with the signals going off. I went back hours later and took two drapes and walked and the signals went off. Reality sets in. I feel ashamed and terrible. I sit in my car and go over what I have done. I can't return the items now I feel. I go back in 30 minutes later and decide to pay for the items myself and discard later what I stole. Somehow in my demented this mind make sense.
I go back to the drape aisle and get some help and then am reaching for drapes when security comes up. She says she has me on video walking out with two drapes. I say it wan't me. Before I went back in I had taken off my long sleeved shirt and just had an undershirt- it was a hot day and I had been in my car stewing with she. She said since I had a different shirt on they couldn't be for sure.
I told her I was mortified at the situation and I would like to pay for the drapes in hand with me. I go to the check out counter and she asks for my name and phone number. I give her my name, but false number. I did pay with a debit card so it won't be difficult to find me. They didn't take me to a back room, have me admit guilt, call the cops, take down my license.
I am so ashamed. All I can think of is the cops bursting down my door. I can't get off the sofa. Thank God I told my husband and he was understanding. I see my pdoc and therapist this week. All I can think of is the cops coming.
Yesterday I shoplifted three times at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I went on a rampage out of nowhere. The first time I put a blanket and two pillows in a cart and just walked out with the signals going off. I went back hours later and took two drapes and walked and the signals went off. Reality sets in. I feel ashamed and terrible. I sit in my car and go over what I have done. I can't return the items now I feel. I go back in 30 minutes later and decide to pay for the items myself and discard later what I stole. Somehow in my demented this mind make sense.
I go back to the drape aisle and get some help and then am reaching for drapes when security comes up. She says she has me on video walking out with two drapes. I say it wan't me. Before I went back in I had taken off my long sleeved shirt and just had an undershirt- it was a hot day and I had been in my car stewing with she. She said since I had a different shirt on they couldn't be for sure.
I told her I was mortified at the situation and I would like to pay for the drapes in hand with me. I go to the check out counter and she asks for my name and phone number. I give her my name, but false number. I did pay with a debit card so it won't be difficult to find me. They didn't take me to a back room, have me admit guilt, call the cops, take down my license.
I am so ashamed. All I can think of is the cops bursting down my door. I can't get off the sofa. Thank God I told my husband and he was understanding. I see my pdoc and therapist this week. All I can think of is the cops coming.
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And I mean just begunAnother night that sleep is being difficult but I'll get thereI hope that you're having sweet dreams followed by a happy hump daySending hugs...xo
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Life has been really hard this past year. I'm really feeling down and alone. I can't talk to my family about my depression and anxiety their not very understanding about it. It's really hitting me since my mother passed a few months ago, plus stress from having to eventually move. Also having my niece coming around who suffers bipolar and refuses to take medication for it. Its been...
in the meantime - stay out of stores. and have safe shopping rules:
1) do not go shopping unescorted (by your husband or a friend)
2) do not carry big purses or bags
3) do not use the self-checkout - always go through a line with a clerk
these are some things that help me stay within the bounds when i'm feeling that urge. again. good luck.
It's not judgment or criticism, this wasn't just some "no big deal thing" she committed a crime, several in fact. That's serious, and she doesn't seem to be taking it as serious as it should be.
Yes we have BiPolar Disorder, and yes when we're manic or hypmanic we have really bad impulse control...but that doesn't mean we can just go out and break the law and that's okay. It doesn't mean we can do whatever we want to whomever we want for whatever purpose and it will all be okay because we're manic.
Once your Diagnosed with this Disease you have a duty to manage it to the best that you can within your daily life. That means when your having a manic or hypo-manic state, you mitigate your damages as much as possible. If you think your going to do something illegal when you go out, then you don't go out. If you know you'll drink all night once you start...then don't start. If your ramped up and want to pound on somebody, then turn on the Wii and don't leave the house.
This Disease is just like any other, you have to do your best to take care of it, if you can't then you get put in a hospital where they take care of it for you.
When your manic especially you have to have plans in place so that you don't do behaviors that you tend to do...and you know what they are after your first Manic Episode...we tend to repeat the same behaviors. I'ts our job to make sure we don't cause harm to ourselves, our family and the public at large....and if you can't go outside your home with that guarantee, then stay home until your Episode is over.
When you start breaking the law, it starts fuc**** up your life big time pretty quick......nobody should want to do anything that does that.
It's not a judgement and it's not criticizing, its about waking up and watching what pattern your starting, stopping it and coming up with a plan that can be put in place at the onset of your next Episode.
For those that are judging me there is nothing you can say that I haven't already thought of or felt. I am ashamed. I'm so ashamed I will take suicidal feelings over mania. Unfortunately, I am not a bper that can take anti depressants without consequences. Realizing this I now know depression is always something I will have to deal with.
Usually when I am manic I am hypersexual and spend a lot of money on frivolous things. In this instance I shoplifted. This behavior was not normal for me and I felt out of control. This situation happened on Saturday and I was in touch with my pdoc Wed and Friday the day before telling her I wasn't ok. Please don't tell me how it is my responsibility to manage my bp.
I know this. I work on this. I struggle with this. I keep trying and I am not perfect. For anyone here who has not made an error or had a bad episode please raise your hand and give me your paypal account info. I will wire you $100 today.
Again, I am saddened by the high mightiness of some of the posters. I really thought this was a place we could come and share the real us and our real lives with support and understanding.
Thank you for not only your kind words, but direct steps to prevent myself to even be in that kind of circumstance when I feel out of control.
Even if you are bipolar you will still go to jail for breaking the law is a sad but true fact.
If your impulse control is this poor this is something you and your tdoc and pdoc need to address ASAP. Poor impulse control is a major symptom of mania. I would suggest that you discuss this problem first thing Monday morning.
Facing the music for things we have done while manic is unpleasant and difficult but necessary to our recovery.
I understand my actions have legal ramifications. I am a 38 year old professional with a degree I worked hard for. Both of my parents have passed away and thank God for my husband to try and help me through this.
There was and still is a lot at stake for me.
I see my pdoc and therapist Tuesday morning. I see my therapist every Saturday.
For anyone to think I don't see the dire consequences of my actions just isn't in my head or personal surroundings to see the pain of this situation.
I am actively seeking help. Being diagnosed with bp and trying to find the right meds have been difficult. I had a breakdown which has triggered an almost two year depressive phase. This has been a struggle, but I am trying hard to not give up.
With all I have I am just asking for compassion and not judgement through this confusing, painful and scary time for me.
Glad to hear you are seeing your therapist and pdoc so soon! I hear you that finding the right medication is not easy to do....sounds like you are doing your best to work on the latest flare up.
I do not feel my reply is judgemental. I found Dilectical behavioral Therapy skills to be a real help for my lack of impulse control perhaps there is a group in your area? Anyway look it up and see if it could be of some use to you and your situation....
When my mania was put in check with the right meds, I stopped with the harmful things. It took a while to get used to the meds but now I feel stable. I have even forgiven myself for the most of the things that happened. You will, too.
I must say I am surprised at the judgmental tone to this thread, too. Especially when I can remember exactly what the judgers themselves have done. Don't worry too much about that, sdgrrl. The majority of us do get it and we will be here to help you.