In 2013 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. About a month ago my psychiatrist put me on an ant-depressant to help with suicidal thoughts. About two weeks ago the medication put me into a manic state. I let my therapist and pdoc know I was shoplifting and displaying manic symptoms. They adjusted my meds. The manic behavior didn't subside and I called my pdoc Wed and Fri telling her my behavior still wan't under control. She said she could see me next Friday.

Yesterday I shoplifted three times at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I went on a rampage out of nowhere. The first time I put a blanket and two pillows in a cart and just walked out with the signals going off. I went back hours later and took two drapes and walked and the signals went off. Reality sets in. I feel ashamed and terrible. I sit in my car and go over what I have done. I can't return the items now I feel. I go back in 30 minutes later and decide to pay for the items myself and discard later what I stole. Somehow in my demented this mind make sense.

I go back to the drape aisle and get some help and then am reaching for drapes when security comes up. She says she has me on video walking out with two drapes. I say it wan't me. Before I went back in I had taken off my long sleeved shirt and just had an undershirt- it was a hot day and I had been in my car stewing with she. She said since I had a different shirt on they couldn't be for sure.

I told her I was mortified at the situation and I would like to pay for the drapes in hand with me. I go to the check out counter and she asks for my name and phone number. I give her my name, but false number. I did pay with a debit card so it won't be difficult to find me. They didn't take me to a back room, have me admit guilt, call the cops, take down my license.

I am so ashamed. All I can think of is the cops bursting down my door. I can't get off the sofa. Thank God I told my husband and he was understanding. I see my pdoc and therapist this week. All I can think of is the cops coming.