thanks all for your support as always!!! for some reason i'm not getting the notices about responses to the thread but its really nice and heartwarming to open it up and find comments of support!

i just spent the morning looking different hairstyle options for the big day, in preparation with my consultation in a few more days with the hairstylist.
there are a few styles i liked but i know that i wont be able to do them because of how short some of my hair will be

now this moment when i have to address trich with regards to my wedding, and feeling beautiful even though trich makes me feel very unattractive is finally approaching.
i will have to tell the hairstylist about trich in just a few more days... i have no doubt that she will be compassionate yet still its a hurdle that needs to be overcome

on the extremely bright side i have made major progress fighting trich the last month - yes i have pulled here and there but the damage was relatively minor compared to the past, and i have less urges than ever. i feel that the support from this group and the promises i made myself have spurred along the success so thank you to you all!!!

hugs to everyone hope today is a positive day!

Glad to hear that you have made major progress, and great attitude. I have recently decided to adopt the same attitude, to think more about the overall progress, instead of the slips. You are doing great ! I can understand about how nervous you must be about telling your hairdresser you have trich. But as a professional hairdresser I would expect she will be understanding. Keep us posted.

I met with the hairdresser yesterday
It was a bit hard to actually tell her but she was totally fine as we all expected - very professional and said you know i've seen it all and we will make you beautiful and you dont have to worry


thank you all for your constant support and encouragement you have no idea how much your words are creating so much progress!!!! thank you!!

Yay! Glad it went so well ! Bet that's a big relief for you.

I'm glad that telling your hairdresser went well! Hopefully that can help make you feel more confident on your big day.

yesterday i had a spot that i was sooooo tempted to pick. i did a little, but it was in such a noticeable place that i just somehow FORCED myself to stop and said to myself "you'll regret it so much if you create a new spot. just dont do it" and i didnt.

you all helped me without even knowing it. thank you.

Good for you!! You WILL conquer this thing, because you have the will to do so. The mere act of coming here and writing is a huge part of the process. It is a promise to yourself. I have learned a lot about myself and my relationship with touch by being here. I will bump a post that I wrote as part of my discovery. It is my ABC's. Hugs!!

thanks so much phoebe for the warm words of encouragement!

That is great that you were able to stop yourself from continuing to pull. A huge accomplishment. Keep up the good work !

whoo! You are doing wonderful! Keep it up!

haven't written in a while.
the wedding is in 6 weeks and sadly i pulled out quite a few spots of hair - compared to the past they are not very big but they are in strategic places so im' really concerned about how the hairstylist will be able to hide them
i'm pretty upset about it because i got so far and made so much progress and i know that progress is still there - compared to the past i'm ten thousand times in a better place. but i'm not sure i'll be able to reach the goal i had set out for myself. i'm continuing to do my best to "heal" those spots and remind myself how much i dont want to be pickign and the reward will be so much greater than if i do.

sending hugs and support out there to all!!!

That must be frustrating. I'm sure your hairstylist will find a way to conceal most of the damage. Maybe you could buy a concealing product like Toppik or something similar to fill in those spots. It can make quite a bit of difference. Don't beat yourself up over the slip - goals are great, but just do your best and focus on the excitement of your wedding, not your hair!

yes youre right focusing on this is only going to make me feel bad about it but not actually make me stop.
its sooooo hard to want something soooooo badly and struggle so much with achieving it. especially when it seems like such a simple thing - i dotn want this, i dont want to pick, i dont want to do this to myself. its just so damn crazy, addictions.

Hi! You're so strong, you can focus on the celebration of your wedding and not your hair! You are loved by your family and friends who will attend, you will look beautiful! Hope you feel confident and peaceful as the wedding approaches.

thank you so much panthera that was such a beautiful message and i have taken it to heart!!! words cannot express the amount of gratitude i have for the people in this group