Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Week Two...Warning System
Amazing job on expressing your symptoms last week. At one point in my life I had pretty much every single one of them mentioned....really! There is a biological reason that you are experiencing these sensations....believe it or not your body is acting perfectly NORMAL....that's right, normal...there is nothing wrong with you!!! I will explain what I mean and discuss why below, but, for now I want to talk just about these symptoms.
OK, I will agree that these symptoms and the feelings that they cause are horrible. I will also agree that these symptoms can completely scare the heck out of you and make you feel absolutely awful. BUT,....I want you to realize that these symptoms are NOT your enemy. These symptoms will become the closest friend you will ever have. These symptoms will eventually warn you as to when to take action. These symptoms will always be at your side and will always be there to help you to make positive choices. Over the next few weeks I want you to learn to embrace these symptoms and the feelings they create.
OK...Are you rolling your eyes yet? You may be asking yourself.... "How am I suppose embrace these feelings when all they do is bring me to my knees?"
Well, we are going to change the way that we look at these symptoms. We are going to learn what they really are and how to use them to work in our favor....instead of against us.
From here on out when ever you begin to feel these symptoms coming on I want you to look at them as........(drum roll please).....your own personal......
"WARNING SYSTEM"!!!!!!!
Got that....Those first symptoms that you have when in a stressful situation will no longer be called a "symptoms".....they are now to be referred to as, your own personal......."WARNING SYSTEM"!!!
Here's how it works.
Just as you have current warning systems like a fire alarm that makes you quickly move to a safe location, or a timer on your stove that alerts you to check what ever is baking in the oven, or a door buzzer that gets you off the sofa to answer the door,.......this new "Warning System" will also alert you to take action.
This week we will talk about how we can use this new warning system in the event of a Panic Attack. In subsequent weeks we will use it to take appropriate actions to overcome other issues common with folks who think anxiously. I still use this warning system, even now, and I have been over the anxiety habit for five years. So let's finds out how to make this "Warning System" work for us.....instead of hurting us!
First, I need to talk about what causes Panic Attacks. Before we go any further, we all need to be clear on this. Panic attacks are not caused by situations or people in our lives...in other words they are not caused by driving the car, having a fight with our significant other, our tyrant boss, our mean teacher, going to a social gathering, dealing with problematic family members, taking a flight, going to the doctor, leaving your house, being away from your "safe person or place".....etc.
Panic attacks are caused by............. YOU!!!!
They are caused by your thoughts, your actions and reactions! Alright...now that you know what is causing all of this strife...go and change your thoughts, your actions and reactions......problem solved!!! You are now free to live a panic free, non anxious life!
Ahhhhh....Could it be that easy?
Well,......yes and no.
Example:
What if I told you that I was starting up a company and I needed you to accompany me on a business trip to be my translator in Arabic, Mandarin and Japanese. I would pay you $250,000.00 for this two week business trip and we are leaving this coming weekend.
Yikes....if you did not receive the tools in which to learn those languages, no matter what the payout, you could not complete this job!
Overcoming anxiety is the exact same thing. Even if the payout is fantastic, like, living a happy productive, peaceful, positive life....it is still impossible with out some essemblance of tools.
So to answer the question...can overcoming anxiety be that easy? Yes....with tools! No....if you don't even know what anxiety is and why you have it in the first place. So....if your with me so far......let's start understanding anxiety and what causes it! We will learn other tools along the way week by week. This way our brain can really have some time to make the changes needed to overcome this anxiety habit!
Are you ready to kick the habit?
Here we go.....
WHAT CAUSES PANIC ATTACKS?
Please bare with me if you know some of this stuff, but, understanding why our bodies do certain behaviors is imperative to learning how to control them. I promise you....this information all pertains to Panic Attacks. My goal here is to keep this simple...at least that is the way that I learn best.
UNDERSTANDING THE SYMPATHETIC VS THE PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEMS!
OK....these two areas of our central nervous system are very important for us to understand. They are the main reasons that we have body symptoms....the calming and chaotic! Both have very important roles. Let's see what these systems are responsible for:
SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (Aka...Fight or Flight System)
Increased Heart
Increased Respiration
Increased Perspiration
Increase Blood pressure
Decrease Digestion
Adrenaline release
PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. (Aka...Rest and Digest)
Normal Heart Beat
Normal Respiration
Increase Digestion
Calmness
Healing takes place
Which one would you rather have workin for you? I have my hand raised for the Parasympathetic. But, let's not be so hard on the Sympathetic...(even though it is the main reason we have all of our negative symptoms). Let me take you back in time. Without the sympathetic nervous system our caveman ancestors would have never survived. They would never have had the instinct or energy to run away from or fight off the saber tooth tigers. We would not be here because our ancestors would have been a lovely smorgasbord for the tigers dinner. The sympathetic also keeps us safe today. Lets say you step off the curb to cross the street and out of nowhere, a bus comes barreling at you. If you didn't have that sympathetic nervous system your legs would not have the quick energy needed to jump out of the way. The adrenaline that the sympathetic nervous system releases makes us super human, in a way, to get us out of danger. Here's the problem though....all of us here with issues with anxiety have learned to make it a habit to kick on this sympathetic system at times that there is no visible danger. Unfortunately, all of this adrenaline is wasted on nothing and is completely responsible for all of our awful symptoms.
Speaking of symptoms.....it is important to understand why our bodies feel so uncomfortable when we activate our sympathetic nervous system. Knowing what is going on inside our wonderful bodies and realizing that these symptoms are actually POSITIVE...that's right Positive....it can help our brains to process the whole experience correctly.
Here goes....
Think about all of the symptoms you wrote down for Week One. This is your sympathetic nervous system working at its best. Let's see what those symptoms of yours really are. Below I have given a list of most of the symptoms from last week and why you would feel them. Hint...they are not there to make you miserable.
1) Heart beating a bit faster, Heart racing, Palpitations:
The body is preparing to fight or take flight. The blood has to move quickly from where it is currently to those muscles that are going to need a boost. The heart does it best to quicken its delivery to those areas of the body. Hence the heart speeds up to get the job done and keep your fighting or flighting body parts in top condition. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
2) Tingling, cool pale skin, pins and needle sensation:
The body is reducing the blood flow to the skin so that it can send the blood to more important areas like the muscles, certain parts of the brain involved with running or fighting, the eyes, nose and ears. This way you can think faster, smell, hear and see more acutely. Also, pulling blood away from the skin also protects you from bleeding due to the cuts and scrapes you will endure from the fight you may need to face. This will cause your skin to tingle or feel numb absolutely any where on your body....face, head, torso, arms, legs, lips, finger tips...etc. Therefore, these are perfectly normal heathy symptoms!
3) Sweating:
As your body prepares to fight off what ever perceived danger is coming your way....it realizes that you are going to heat up as you prepare to wrestle what ever beast that is about to attack. Sweating cools you down while you are fighting so that you don't over heat. Palms, pits, head, back, chest...anywhere on the body that you have skin you will sweat. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
4) Tunnel Vision, hard to focus, difficulty seeing:
Your pupils actually dilate to let more light in. After all you do need to see what is about to attack...right? This make it hard to focus and see clearly. Some people can only see what is right in front of them. Makes sense focusing on the object that you are about to fight which would be in your arms length only...right? Anything beyond your arms...you would be running like heck to escape...right? Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
5) Dry mouth, unable to swallow, nausea, unable to eat, feeling sick to stomach, diarrhea, needing to urinate, feeling of butterflies or bees in stomach:
Gastric juices and saliva production decreases because blood flow to the digestive system is shut down. Your body will eliminate anything currently in the digestive track in order to help you be a bit lighter on your feet when fleeing the scene. After all it more important to save your life then digest that hot dog and fries you had for lunch! Haha! Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
6) Confusion, feeling of not being in reality, unable to think, feeling lightheaded, derealization, unable to concentrate:
Again the blood flow is all about the muscles at this point and will take away from other areas that do nothing to help you run or fight. This temporary blood rush to muscles will decrease flow to the brain a bit. When you are under attack...you definitely do not need to think...you just need to survive...bloods not so important in our grey matter at this time. Therefore these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
7) Shakiness, weakness, jelly legs:
This is just a reaction of adrenaline sitting in your cells not being used up by running or fighting. Get up, walk around, go out for a run, clean the house, hop, dance the funky chicken...use up the adrenaline and those sensations will go away! Again, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
8) Fatigue, tiredness, exhaustion, depression:
Well after experiencing all of the above your body has to have a break!!! These symptoms are there to allow your body a much needed rest!!!
Does this make sense as to why you feel these awful feelings...do you now understand why these feelings really are not that awful? They are there...and only there, to HELP you!!! Granted they don't feel the greatest when you don't know what they are but they really are your friend...believe me, the sympathetic nervous system does not want to turn on.....it gives you those early "warning system" feelings so that it doesn't have to. Therefore, all you need to do now is to learn how to turn this fight or flight system off before it goes into panic.
Here is the question that we have all been waiting for....
So...how do we turn the sympathetic nervous system off???
Answer:
By noticing your "Warning System" and turning on the Parasympathetic Nervous System. OK, this may sound totally easy but the way to turn this parasympathetic system on is by:
1) Taking some slow deep breaths.
2) Talking compassionately, positively and logically to yourself.
3) THATS IT!!!!
(***see note below)
Let's walk through an example of an panic attack/anxiety attack. The first example is NOT using the warning system. The second example is using the warning system. Which one works out better?
PANIC ATTACK EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Adrenaline is released. Heart starts to beat faster)
You put on your coat and grab your keys and think....oh no, what if I get in a traffic jam. What if I begin to not feel well.
(More adrenaline released. Heart begins to beat a lot faster, you also begin to sweat a bit)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....what if I really get sick while driving and loose control of the car, what if I get in an accident.
(More adrenaline. Heart is going a mile a minute, your arms and legs feel weak, it feels like you may not be getting enough air into your lungs)
Now you are thinking...oh no...am I having a heart attack. What is wrong with me. I can't catch my breath.
(The effect of the adrenaline are now being felt. You are light headed, feeling a little dizzy, you are having a hard time focusing)
You decide to get out of the car and go back in the house to lay down. You make it to your bed.
(Now your heart rate is slower but you are so scared about what just happened. You now lay there exhausted, scared and depressed. On top of that....you are now afraid to go back into the car!!!....(this is a "Trigger" now, we will talk about this next weeks))
HERE IS HOW TO STOP THE PANIC ATTACK HABIT USING YOUR... "WARNING SYSTEM"
SAME EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Heart begins to beat faster)
Whoa what was that?....why is my heart beating faster? When my heart is beating faster then usual this is my "Warning System"
(You now have a choice....either choose to ignore your warning system and end up like above in a full fledge panic attack OR begin to activate that parasympathetic system that everyone of us has access to)
Alright, my "Warning System" has been activated! OK....what do I need to do?...oh yeah, there were two steps....step 1...take some slow deep breaths. In through my nose counting up to five. One, two, three, four five. Now out through pursed lips. Five, four, three, two, one. I think I will do this a few more times. In...one, two, three, four, five. Out....five, four, three, two, one. In....one, two, three, four, five. Out...five, four, three, two, one.
(Heart rate slows a bit because of slow deep breathing)
Alright, I did some slow breaths, now step 2....I need to talk compassionately and logically to myself. OK...I have to drive into the city and yes, there may be some traffic...so.....maybe I can listen to that book on tape while I drive today, or turn on my favorite radio talk show. I could stop by the coffee shop and grab a decaf mocha coffee or I could even make a green tea here at home to go.
(Breathing is back to normal)
You put on your coat and grab your keys....oh no, what if I get sick while driving?
(Heart rate picks up again)
There's my warning system again. Take some more slow deep breaths and talk compassionately. OK....I have made this a habit to be scared when I drive. I won't get sick....that's just a scary thought and those feelings were my sympathetic nervous system wanting to turn on. It was just a little adrenaline and adrenaline can never hurt me. Nothing to worry about. I can change this habit by talking compassionately, positively and logically to myself. You are going to be OK.....you have driven downtown before and you can do it again and again. You are going to give yourself some time to overcome this negative thought habit. It took you a long time to develop this fear it will take a little bit of time till it no longer bothers you. It will go away if I keep facing it and retrain my brain to a more positive outlook on driving.
(Heart rate returns to normal)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....I can do this. I just have to keep an eye out for my warning system and if it turns on then activate my parasympathetic system. Take a few breaths and talk logically and compassionately to myself.....I CAN DO THIS!
(Calm, Still have all of your energy, and a bit more confidence)
You drive to get your hot beverage for your ride into the city!
HOMEWORK
1) Watch for your "Warning System"
2) If it is activated......Turn on your Parasympathetic Nervous System
a) Take Slow Deep Breaths. (***see note below)
b) Talk Compassionately, Positively, and Logically
3) Still keep it slow
4) Purchase or find a little notebook that you can carry with you at all times. We will need it starting next week.
Let me know during the week of you have any examples of your warning system turning on and how you manage working through it. Remember you are just starting on this practice...don't expect perfect. It will get easier and easier every time you use it though. We have a lot more to learn over the coming weeks that will help also.
Remember panic attacks did not happen over night. They may have seemed like they did but it took time to create those negative thoughts that scare you. It will take some practice to change those thoughts. We will work next week on those thoughts exclusively.
Until then....
My best to you!
***Note
(from the above homework assignment)
If you are anything like me...my panic attacks, in the beginning, before I really understood what the were...were so fast that step one...the slow deep breaths needed a little booster shot..so to say. Remember...the breaths are the true key here because they are the ultimate reason why your parasympathetic nervous system turns on. This is science...it's a fact....but if you are really in a state where you have gone a bit past your initial warning system and you are heading into panic (which is OK....your new at changing this...right?...as long as you keep working on this...you will eventually get this)....then here is what to do.....
First...definitely do your slow deep breaths...this is the key. While you are doing the slow deep breaths...and talking compassionately to yourself....start adding distraction. I have found the best way to do this is by using your senses. First off senses are always with you...they are free...haha...and they work wonders for helping you to stop the negative thoughts that automatically started the panic to begin with.
You can go in any order you want but go through every sense you have...there are 5 of them...so take your time and really pay attention to each of them. To ahead and try this out right now by asking yourself the below questions....
1) What do I feel right now?
Really allow your fingers to tell you exactly what they are feeling, cold, hot, bumpy, rough, smooth, soft...explore what ever is around you. Close your eyes if this will help you focus....(unless you are driving a car or operating heavy machinery). Enjoy the sensation!
2) What do I hear?
Is it loud, quite, do I hear birds, airplanes, cars, music, talking,...try to hear sounds that are further and further away. Close your eyes and see of you can hear anything else....(again, as long as you are not driving a car or operating any heavy machinery...haha!)
3)What do I smell?
Is it sweet, stinky, pleasant...etc. Does it make you hungry...is the smell familiar, unusual?
4) What do I taste?
Is there something nearby that you can put in your mouth? Is there something you ate recently that you can still savor?
5) What do I see?
Notice what is in front of you...colors, shapes, sizes, beauty, brightness, textures. Look further and further away...what is the furthest thing you can focus on.
Distraction is a powerful tool. Some folks carry worry stones, or prayer cards, or pictures. I know when I was overcoming my fear of driving...I would always have a bottle of water with one of those pop-up squirt tops...the kind they sell at convenience stores. Anyways, if my warning system went off, while I was driving...I would pick up my water bottle and start taking slow sips on the bottle. Not only would this slow my breath but it was a great way to engage my senses. The coolness of the bottle in my hand (touch)...the way the bottle was shaped (see)...the water in my mouth (taste)...the sound the bottle would make as I sipped (hear)...well, there isn't much to smell with water...but, you get my point!
Anyways....give those senses a whirl. Also use them when you are calm for practice. Try deep slow breathing while you are enjoying your senses. I think you will be amazed on what you don't pay attention to....until you begin to pay attention!!!!
As always...my best to you!
Amazing job on expressing your symptoms last week. At one point in my life I had pretty much every single one of them mentioned....really! There is a biological reason that you are experiencing these sensations....believe it or not your body is acting perfectly NORMAL....that's right, normal...there is nothing wrong with you!!! I will explain what I mean and discuss why below, but, for now I want to talk just about these symptoms.
OK, I will agree that these symptoms and the feelings that they cause are horrible. I will also agree that these symptoms can completely scare the heck out of you and make you feel absolutely awful. BUT,....I want you to realize that these symptoms are NOT your enemy. These symptoms will become the closest friend you will ever have. These symptoms will eventually warn you as to when to take action. These symptoms will always be at your side and will always be there to help you to make positive choices. Over the next few weeks I want you to learn to embrace these symptoms and the feelings they create.
OK...Are you rolling your eyes yet? You may be asking yourself.... "How am I suppose embrace these feelings when all they do is bring me to my knees?"
Well, we are going to change the way that we look at these symptoms. We are going to learn what they really are and how to use them to work in our favor....instead of against us.
From here on out when ever you begin to feel these symptoms coming on I want you to look at them as........(drum roll please).....your own personal......
"WARNING SYSTEM"!!!!!!!
Got that....Those first symptoms that you have when in a stressful situation will no longer be called a "symptoms".....they are now to be referred to as, your own personal......."WARNING SYSTEM"!!!
Here's how it works.
Just as you have current warning systems like a fire alarm that makes you quickly move to a safe location, or a timer on your stove that alerts you to check what ever is baking in the oven, or a door buzzer that gets you off the sofa to answer the door,.......this new "Warning System" will also alert you to take action.
This week we will talk about how we can use this new warning system in the event of a Panic Attack. In subsequent weeks we will use it to take appropriate actions to overcome other issues common with folks who think anxiously. I still use this warning system, even now, and I have been over the anxiety habit for five years. So let's finds out how to make this "Warning System" work for us.....instead of hurting us!
First, I need to talk about what causes Panic Attacks. Before we go any further, we all need to be clear on this. Panic attacks are not caused by situations or people in our lives...in other words they are not caused by driving the car, having a fight with our significant other, our tyrant boss, our mean teacher, going to a social gathering, dealing with problematic family members, taking a flight, going to the doctor, leaving your house, being away from your "safe person or place".....etc.
Panic attacks are caused by............. YOU!!!!
They are caused by your thoughts, your actions and reactions! Alright...now that you know what is causing all of this strife...go and change your thoughts, your actions and reactions......problem solved!!! You are now free to live a panic free, non anxious life!
Ahhhhh....Could it be that easy?
Well,......yes and no.
Example:
What if I told you that I was starting up a company and I needed you to accompany me on a business trip to be my translator in Arabic, Mandarin and Japanese. I would pay you $250,000.00 for this two week business trip and we are leaving this coming weekend.
Yikes....if you did not receive the tools in which to learn those languages, no matter what the payout, you could not complete this job!
Overcoming anxiety is the exact same thing. Even if the payout is fantastic, like, living a happy productive, peaceful, positive life....it is still impossible with out some essemblance of tools.
So to answer the question...can overcoming anxiety be that easy? Yes....with tools! No....if you don't even know what anxiety is and why you have it in the first place. So....if your with me so far......let's start understanding anxiety and what causes it! We will learn other tools along the way week by week. This way our brain can really have some time to make the changes needed to overcome this anxiety habit!
Are you ready to kick the habit?
Here we go.....
WHAT CAUSES PANIC ATTACKS?
Please bare with me if you know some of this stuff, but, understanding why our bodies do certain behaviors is imperative to learning how to control them. I promise you....this information all pertains to Panic Attacks. My goal here is to keep this simple...at least that is the way that I learn best.
UNDERSTANDING THE SYMPATHETIC VS THE PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEMS!
OK....these two areas of our central nervous system are very important for us to understand. They are the main reasons that we have body symptoms....the calming and chaotic! Both have very important roles. Let's see what these systems are responsible for:
SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (Aka...Fight or Flight System)
Increased Heart
Increased Respiration
Increased Perspiration
Increase Blood pressure
Decrease Digestion
Adrenaline release
PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. (Aka...Rest and Digest)
Normal Heart Beat
Normal Respiration
Increase Digestion
Calmness
Healing takes place
Which one would you rather have workin for you? I have my hand raised for the Parasympathetic. But, let's not be so hard on the Sympathetic...(even though it is the main reason we have all of our negative symptoms). Let me take you back in time. Without the sympathetic nervous system our caveman ancestors would have never survived. They would never have had the instinct or energy to run away from or fight off the saber tooth tigers. We would not be here because our ancestors would have been a lovely smorgasbord for the tigers dinner. The sympathetic also keeps us safe today. Lets say you step off the curb to cross the street and out of nowhere, a bus comes barreling at you. If you didn't have that sympathetic nervous system your legs would not have the quick energy needed to jump out of the way. The adrenaline that the sympathetic nervous system releases makes us super human, in a way, to get us out of danger. Here's the problem though....all of us here with issues with anxiety have learned to make it a habit to kick on this sympathetic system at times that there is no visible danger. Unfortunately, all of this adrenaline is wasted on nothing and is completely responsible for all of our awful symptoms.
Speaking of symptoms.....it is important to understand why our bodies feel so uncomfortable when we activate our sympathetic nervous system. Knowing what is going on inside our wonderful bodies and realizing that these symptoms are actually POSITIVE...that's right Positive....it can help our brains to process the whole experience correctly.
Here goes....
Think about all of the symptoms you wrote down for Week One. This is your sympathetic nervous system working at its best. Let's see what those symptoms of yours really are. Below I have given a list of most of the symptoms from last week and why you would feel them. Hint...they are not there to make you miserable.
1) Heart beating a bit faster, Heart racing, Palpitations:
The body is preparing to fight or take flight. The blood has to move quickly from where it is currently to those muscles that are going to need a boost. The heart does it best to quicken its delivery to those areas of the body. Hence the heart speeds up to get the job done and keep your fighting or flighting body parts in top condition. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
2) Tingling, cool pale skin, pins and needle sensation:
The body is reducing the blood flow to the skin so that it can send the blood to more important areas like the muscles, certain parts of the brain involved with running or fighting, the eyes, nose and ears. This way you can think faster, smell, hear and see more acutely. Also, pulling blood away from the skin also protects you from bleeding due to the cuts and scrapes you will endure from the fight you may need to face. This will cause your skin to tingle or feel numb absolutely any where on your body....face, head, torso, arms, legs, lips, finger tips...etc. Therefore, these are perfectly normal heathy symptoms!
3) Sweating:
As your body prepares to fight off what ever perceived danger is coming your way....it realizes that you are going to heat up as you prepare to wrestle what ever beast that is about to attack. Sweating cools you down while you are fighting so that you don't over heat. Palms, pits, head, back, chest...anywhere on the body that you have skin you will sweat. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
4) Tunnel Vision, hard to focus, difficulty seeing:
Your pupils actually dilate to let more light in. After all you do need to see what is about to attack...right? This make it hard to focus and see clearly. Some people can only see what is right in front of them. Makes sense focusing on the object that you are about to fight which would be in your arms length only...right? Anything beyond your arms...you would be running like heck to escape...right? Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
5) Dry mouth, unable to swallow, nausea, unable to eat, feeling sick to stomach, diarrhea, needing to urinate, feeling of butterflies or bees in stomach:
Gastric juices and saliva production decreases because blood flow to the digestive system is shut down. Your body will eliminate anything currently in the digestive track in order to help you be a bit lighter on your feet when fleeing the scene. After all it more important to save your life then digest that hot dog and fries you had for lunch! Haha! Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
6) Confusion, feeling of not being in reality, unable to think, feeling lightheaded, derealization, unable to concentrate:
Again the blood flow is all about the muscles at this point and will take away from other areas that do nothing to help you run or fight. This temporary blood rush to muscles will decrease flow to the brain a bit. When you are under attack...you definitely do not need to think...you just need to survive...bloods not so important in our grey matter at this time. Therefore these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
7) Shakiness, weakness, jelly legs:
This is just a reaction of adrenaline sitting in your cells not being used up by running or fighting. Get up, walk around, go out for a run, clean the house, hop, dance the funky chicken...use up the adrenaline and those sensations will go away! Again, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
8) Fatigue, tiredness, exhaustion, depression:
Well after experiencing all of the above your body has to have a break!!! These symptoms are there to allow your body a much needed rest!!!
Does this make sense as to why you feel these awful feelings...do you now understand why these feelings really are not that awful? They are there...and only there, to HELP you!!! Granted they don't feel the greatest when you don't know what they are but they really are your friend...believe me, the sympathetic nervous system does not want to turn on.....it gives you those early "warning system" feelings so that it doesn't have to. Therefore, all you need to do now is to learn how to turn this fight or flight system off before it goes into panic.
Here is the question that we have all been waiting for....
So...how do we turn the sympathetic nervous system off???
Answer:
By noticing your "Warning System" and turning on the Parasympathetic Nervous System. OK, this may sound totally easy but the way to turn this parasympathetic system on is by:
1) Taking some slow deep breaths.
2) Talking compassionately, positively and logically to yourself.
3) THATS IT!!!!
(***see note below)
Let's walk through an example of an panic attack/anxiety attack. The first example is NOT using the warning system. The second example is using the warning system. Which one works out better?
PANIC ATTACK EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Adrenaline is released. Heart starts to beat faster)
You put on your coat and grab your keys and think....oh no, what if I get in a traffic jam. What if I begin to not feel well.
(More adrenaline released. Heart begins to beat a lot faster, you also begin to sweat a bit)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....what if I really get sick while driving and loose control of the car, what if I get in an accident.
(More adrenaline. Heart is going a mile a minute, your arms and legs feel weak, it feels like you may not be getting enough air into your lungs)
Now you are thinking...oh no...am I having a heart attack. What is wrong with me. I can't catch my breath.
(The effect of the adrenaline are now being felt. You are light headed, feeling a little dizzy, you are having a hard time focusing)
You decide to get out of the car and go back in the house to lay down. You make it to your bed.
(Now your heart rate is slower but you are so scared about what just happened. You now lay there exhausted, scared and depressed. On top of that....you are now afraid to go back into the car!!!....(this is a "Trigger" now, we will talk about this next weeks))
HERE IS HOW TO STOP THE PANIC ATTACK HABIT USING YOUR... "WARNING SYSTEM"
SAME EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Heart begins to beat faster)
Whoa what was that?....why is my heart beating faster? When my heart is beating faster then usual this is my "Warning System"
(You now have a choice....either choose to ignore your warning system and end up like above in a full fledge panic attack OR begin to activate that parasympathetic system that everyone of us has access to)
Alright, my "Warning System" has been activated! OK....what do I need to do?...oh yeah, there were two steps....step 1...take some slow deep breaths. In through my nose counting up to five. One, two, three, four five. Now out through pursed lips. Five, four, three, two, one. I think I will do this a few more times. In...one, two, three, four, five. Out....five, four, three, two, one. In....one, two, three, four, five. Out...five, four, three, two, one.
(Heart rate slows a bit because of slow deep breathing)
Alright, I did some slow breaths, now step 2....I need to talk compassionately and logically to myself. OK...I have to drive into the city and yes, there may be some traffic...so.....maybe I can listen to that book on tape while I drive today, or turn on my favorite radio talk show. I could stop by the coffee shop and grab a decaf mocha coffee or I could even make a green tea here at home to go.
(Breathing is back to normal)
You put on your coat and grab your keys....oh no, what if I get sick while driving?
(Heart rate picks up again)
There's my warning system again. Take some more slow deep breaths and talk compassionately. OK....I have made this a habit to be scared when I drive. I won't get sick....that's just a scary thought and those feelings were my sympathetic nervous system wanting to turn on. It was just a little adrenaline and adrenaline can never hurt me. Nothing to worry about. I can change this habit by talking compassionately, positively and logically to myself. You are going to be OK.....you have driven downtown before and you can do it again and again. You are going to give yourself some time to overcome this negative thought habit. It took you a long time to develop this fear it will take a little bit of time till it no longer bothers you. It will go away if I keep facing it and retrain my brain to a more positive outlook on driving.
(Heart rate returns to normal)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....I can do this. I just have to keep an eye out for my warning system and if it turns on then activate my parasympathetic system. Take a few breaths and talk logically and compassionately to myself.....I CAN DO THIS!
(Calm, Still have all of your energy, and a bit more confidence)
You drive to get your hot beverage for your ride into the city!
HOMEWORK
1) Watch for your "Warning System"
2) If it is activated......Turn on your Parasympathetic Nervous System
a) Take Slow Deep Breaths. (***see note below)
b) Talk Compassionately, Positively, and Logically
3) Still keep it slow
4) Purchase or find a little notebook that you can carry with you at all times. We will need it starting next week.
Let me know during the week of you have any examples of your warning system turning on and how you manage working through it. Remember you are just starting on this practice...don't expect perfect. It will get easier and easier every time you use it though. We have a lot more to learn over the coming weeks that will help also.
Remember panic attacks did not happen over night. They may have seemed like they did but it took time to create those negative thoughts that scare you. It will take some practice to change those thoughts. We will work next week on those thoughts exclusively.
Until then....
My best to you!
***Note
(from the above homework assignment)
If you are anything like me...my panic attacks, in the beginning, before I really understood what the were...were so fast that step one...the slow deep breaths needed a little booster shot..so to say. Remember...the breaths are the true key here because they are the ultimate reason why your parasympathetic nervous system turns on. This is science...it's a fact....but if you are really in a state where you have gone a bit past your initial warning system and you are heading into panic (which is OK....your new at changing this...right?...as long as you keep working on this...you will eventually get this)....then here is what to do.....
First...definitely do your slow deep breaths...this is the key. While you are doing the slow deep breaths...and talking compassionately to yourself....start adding distraction. I have found the best way to do this is by using your senses. First off senses are always with you...they are free...haha...and they work wonders for helping you to stop the negative thoughts that automatically started the panic to begin with.
You can go in any order you want but go through every sense you have...there are 5 of them...so take your time and really pay attention to each of them. To ahead and try this out right now by asking yourself the below questions....
1) What do I feel right now?
Really allow your fingers to tell you exactly what they are feeling, cold, hot, bumpy, rough, smooth, soft...explore what ever is around you. Close your eyes if this will help you focus....(unless you are driving a car or operating heavy machinery). Enjoy the sensation!
2) What do I hear?
Is it loud, quite, do I hear birds, airplanes, cars, music, talking,...try to hear sounds that are further and further away. Close your eyes and see of you can hear anything else....(again, as long as you are not driving a car or operating any heavy machinery...haha!)
3)What do I smell?
Is it sweet, stinky, pleasant...etc. Does it make you hungry...is the smell familiar, unusual?
4) What do I taste?
Is there something nearby that you can put in your mouth? Is there something you ate recently that you can still savor?
5) What do I see?
Notice what is in front of you...colors, shapes, sizes, beauty, brightness, textures. Look further and further away...what is the furthest thing you can focus on.
Distraction is a powerful tool. Some folks carry worry stones, or prayer cards, or pictures. I know when I was overcoming my fear of driving...I would always have a bottle of water with one of those pop-up squirt tops...the kind they sell at convenience stores. Anyways, if my warning system went off, while I was driving...I would pick up my water bottle and start taking slow sips on the bottle. Not only would this slow my breath but it was a great way to engage my senses. The coolness of the bottle in my hand (touch)...the way the bottle was shaped (see)...the water in my mouth (taste)...the sound the bottle would make as I sipped (hear)...well, there isn't much to smell with water...but, you get my point!
Anyways....give those senses a whirl. Also use them when you are calm for practice. Try deep slow breathing while you are enjoying your senses. I think you will be amazed on what you don't pay attention to....until you begin to pay attention!!!!
As always...my best to you!
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
I had a situation just tonight where I used this. I have been off from work this past week because of Spring Break. I am an assistant in a preschool class and it's a fairly new job I only started a month ago. Tonight I started to get anxious thinking about having to go back to work tomorrow even though I love it. I stress myself out worrying about whether or not I am doing things correctly. So I stopped as soon as I noticed that feeling in my chest. I closed my eyes and just started breathing and imagining the beach. Once I felt like I had calmed down a bit I then worked on being compassionate towards myself. I told myself okay you are feeling a little anxious and that's okay. You have been gone for a week and maybe it will feel a little stressful to go back. But, you do know what you are doing. You know what to do, how to do it, and what is expected of you. You do a good job working with the kids and it will feel so natural to you to be back in that classroom. You got this!
And after going through that process I really did feel so much better :) I turned what I felt was going to be a rough night into a pretty good night!
Just so you realize, as Mea stated, she started about 6 weeks ago learning what anxiety is, what perpetuates it and how to overcome it...so she has had a little bit more practice then the rest of you. No worries though...you will catch up to her. I want you to really notice what she did because this is exactly what you will be doing every single time your "warning system" goes off. Let's see....
1) Her warning system went off
2) She took calming deep breaths
3) She took an extra step by imagining herself somewhere peaceful like a calming beach....(brilliant, this only furthered her parasympathetic nervous system helping her out...just brilliant)
4)When she calmed down enough to think straight she immediately began to tell herself calming, compassionate, truthful statements that made her feel GOOD instead of the negative thoughts that were making her kick on her sympathetic nervous system...(you will be learning all about how to do this next week...Week Three....when we start working with changing our negative thoughts)
Mea...thank you, thank you, thank you soooooo much for sharing this example.
Please if anyone has any examples while practicing this week....please share. We are ALL in this together!
Let's recap what Week Two is all about
1) Notice your Warning System
2) Take deep calming breaths to activate your parasympathetic nervous system
3) Talk compassionatly, calmly, kindly and rationally to yourself. You are OK...you are breaking an anxiety habit...that's all it is!
Can't wait till next week.
As I mentioned in Week Two....Be sure to find a little notebook that you can carry around with you...we will be starting to use it next week.
My best to you all!
The other was what % can that happen...If I had my car 10 years and I got stuck once (true), and used my car daily, started it up, to and from work and errands, and it failed once, why do i think of that daily as I go out. Almost impossible to figure out % of if that will happen. Can be applied to almost any situation.
My difficulty comes when I am in a situation where I don't have the knowledge or skills necessary to cope with a situation. Or when a problem actually is quite serious, and beyond my current ability.
In other words, when I am in deep water and don't know how to swim. It does me no good in that situation to breathe slowly or to relax, because if I do, I will drown.
If I find myself trying to drive a car, and I've never driven before, and I find myself on a highway in rush hour, it makes good sense to me to feel intense anxiety and fear! It actually is a dangerous situation.
In other words, trying to minimize or ignore real and actual dangers that I don't know how to handle only makes me feel more anxious and afraid.
I'd appreciate any thoughts on this.
Also Polly that...% idea...that you told us about is also right on the money. Who ever you are getting these ideas from, knows their stuff.
My best to you!
Normal Anxiety
Normal Anxiety...is when your body reacts to a REAL dangerous situation. Such as....a car accident, a fire, as dangerous interaction with another being....whether it be a person, a bear, a lion, a snake...etc. Anything that threatens your safety and well being.
Anxiety Disorder...aka "Anxiety Habit".....is when you have learned through past negative experiences to activate your sympathetic nervous system releasing adrenaline into your body when no true danger exists. Example...going to the store, driving the car (exception... if you are just learning to drive...it would probably be very normal to have anxiety then...haha!), going to a social gathering, going to the doctor, for some folks...like me when I was anxious...just leaving their house sends them into an anxiety attack.
Do you see the difference?
Recap....
Normal Anxiety....is a reaction to a Real danger.
Anxiety Disorder....is a reaction to a negative thought from a previous experience. There is no real danger...let me repeat that....there is no real danger!!!
Thank you for pointing this out so that it is clear for everyone. We will be learning through the weeks what causes these negative thoughts and behaviors that keep us turning on our warning systems. We will also be learning how to change these thoughts and behaviors so that our warning systems no longer need to turn on...unless of course we are being chased by a bear...haha!
Thanks again!
Thanks for clarifying the difference between realistic fear in the face of actual danger, and the habit of responding with anxiety to things that are not immediately dangerous. You explain things in such an easy to understand way!
Can you explain a little more about how the sympathetic system would create the jittery feeling in my stomach? This is my first warning sign, so I want to understand it in a rational way. (It's interesting: I think my stomach has been the first thing to respond since I was a kid. It responds when there is real stress in my life, and when I feel helpless to change the situation. My parents divorced when I was a kid, and afterwards, I had stomach problems that interfered with school.)
I can understand how adrenaline makes the heart rate increase, etc. In fact, my asthma medicine has the same effect. I know it is just the medicine, so I can just wait it out. (I also drink water to dilute the adrenaline in my system after I take my medicine.)
But I don't understand chemically what my body is doing, in my gut, that creates that jittery sensation. (I may research this.)
I've felt myself in a pretty much constant state of anxiety for the past several weeks, after experiencing a real and serious crisis with my house. I feel stuck in fight or flight (or, for me, HIDE AND AVOID) mode for weeks now. It is getting better slowly, as I bring in experts to help with the house.
About distraction as a technique: I was so stressed, that I actually found it a helpful diversion to do my income tax returns this year! I couldn't think about the house worries and also read tax instructions, and do math, at the same time.
Your posts have been so helpful already. I am doing the steps you outlined. I have the feeling that there is actually something I can do to change my habitual anxiety reaction, but it will take time and practice.
Today while I was driving, I really noticed how my vision was being affected by anxiety. My mind was preoccupied with worry about the house, and I completely missed some important things on the road. Not good. Interesting: The same thing happens when I get into perfectionist mode: My focus gets very narrow, and my energy gets very intensely directed toward that thing I'm focuing on, and I can't let it go. So, I'm starting to see the anxiety living under that habit as well. Wow.
I'm starting the habit of carrying my notebook...and water...and worry stone...
My stepmother had a phobia of bridges. She lived outside of New Orleans, where there are plenty of them. Because of her phobia, she didn't go into the city or visit her kids.
You manage to deal with your fear every working day! That shows so much strength and courage.
I was in a similar situation. I was terrified of public speaking. So...I went and got a job teaching, where I encountered my biggest fear day after day after day. People told me it would get better. It didn't. It was as terrifying on the last day I taught as it was on the first day. I think that by expecting too much of myself, I ended up reinforcing my fear, instead of overcoming it.
On the other hand, I had a long time fear of driving that I overcame. I tried over and over to learn to drive, but I was too nervous to learn. That finally changed when I had great enough motivation (I was living miles from anything, and my mother in law moved in for a year.) I finally became determined to learn to drive. I succeeded. I overcame my fear. I now enjoy driving.
The difference for me, I think, between not overcoming my fear of teaching, and overcoming my fear of driving:
- I realized that my fear wasn't of operating a car. My fear was what other drivers were thinking about me while I was learning. I didn't want to be seen making mistakes or not having skill.
- I started out really, really slow. I spent a day just learning to use the controls in the car. Another day driving up and down the driveway. Another day or two or three driving to the end of my street. In each case, doing something challenging, but not so difficult that I was overwhelmed.
If you've tried several times, and it hasn't worked, that just means the approaches weren't the right ones for you at the time. I was absolutely convinced that I was the one person on the planet without the ability to drive. Now, getting into the car feels relaxing and soothing and freeing. I could not imagine that would ever be possible.
I encourage you: If you want to overcome this fear, keep trying.
Best wishes.