Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Week Two...Warning System
Amazing job on expressing your symptoms last week. At one point in my life I had pretty much every single one of them mentioned....really! There is a biological reason that you are experiencing these sensations....believe it or not your body is acting perfectly NORMAL....that's right, normal...there is nothing wrong with you!!! I will explain what I mean and discuss why below, but, for now I want to talk just about these symptoms.
OK, I will agree that these symptoms and the feelings that they cause are horrible. I will also agree that these symptoms can completely scare the heck out of you and make you feel absolutely awful. BUT,....I want you to realize that these symptoms are NOT your enemy. These symptoms will become the closest friend you will ever have. These symptoms will eventually warn you as to when to take action. These symptoms will always be at your side and will always be there to help you to make positive choices. Over the next few weeks I want you to learn to embrace these symptoms and the feelings they create.
OK...Are you rolling your eyes yet? You may be asking yourself.... "How am I suppose embrace these feelings when all they do is bring me to my knees?"
Well, we are going to change the way that we look at these symptoms. We are going to learn what they really are and how to use them to work in our favor....instead of against us.
From here on out when ever you begin to feel these symptoms coming on I want you to look at them as........(drum roll please).....your own personal......
"WARNING SYSTEM"!!!!!!!
Got that....Those first symptoms that you have when in a stressful situation will no longer be called a "symptoms".....they are now to be referred to as, your own personal......."WARNING SYSTEM"!!!
Here's how it works.
Just as you have current warning systems like a fire alarm that makes you quickly move to a safe location, or a timer on your stove that alerts you to check what ever is baking in the oven, or a door buzzer that gets you off the sofa to answer the door,.......this new "Warning System" will also alert you to take action.
This week we will talk about how we can use this new warning system in the event of a Panic Attack. In subsequent weeks we will use it to take appropriate actions to overcome other issues common with folks who think anxiously. I still use this warning system, even now, and I have been over the anxiety habit for five years. So let's finds out how to make this "Warning System" work for us.....instead of hurting us!
First, I need to talk about what causes Panic Attacks. Before we go any further, we all need to be clear on this. Panic attacks are not caused by situations or people in our lives...in other words they are not caused by driving the car, having a fight with our significant other, our tyrant boss, our mean teacher, going to a social gathering, dealing with problematic family members, taking a flight, going to the doctor, leaving your house, being away from your "safe person or place".....etc.
Panic attacks are caused by............. YOU!!!!
They are caused by your thoughts, your actions and reactions! Alright...now that you know what is causing all of this strife...go and change your thoughts, your actions and reactions......problem solved!!! You are now free to live a panic free, non anxious life!
Ahhhhh....Could it be that easy?
Well,......yes and no.
Example:
What if I told you that I was starting up a company and I needed you to accompany me on a business trip to be my translator in Arabic, Mandarin and Japanese. I would pay you $250,000.00 for this two week business trip and we are leaving this coming weekend.
Yikes....if you did not receive the tools in which to learn those languages, no matter what the payout, you could not complete this job!
Overcoming anxiety is the exact same thing. Even if the payout is fantastic, like, living a happy productive, peaceful, positive life....it is still impossible with out some essemblance of tools.
So to answer the question...can overcoming anxiety be that easy? Yes....with tools! No....if you don't even know what anxiety is and why you have it in the first place. So....if your with me so far......let's start understanding anxiety and what causes it! We will learn other tools along the way week by week. This way our brain can really have some time to make the changes needed to overcome this anxiety habit!
Are you ready to kick the habit?
Here we go.....
WHAT CAUSES PANIC ATTACKS?
Please bare with me if you know some of this stuff, but, understanding why our bodies do certain behaviors is imperative to learning how to control them. I promise you....this information all pertains to Panic Attacks. My goal here is to keep this simple...at least that is the way that I learn best.
UNDERSTANDING THE SYMPATHETIC VS THE PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEMS!
OK....these two areas of our central nervous system are very important for us to understand. They are the main reasons that we have body symptoms....the calming and chaotic! Both have very important roles. Let's see what these systems are responsible for:
SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (Aka...Fight or Flight System)
Increased Heart
Increased Respiration
Increased Perspiration
Increase Blood pressure
Decrease Digestion
Adrenaline release
PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. (Aka...Rest and Digest)
Normal Heart Beat
Normal Respiration
Increase Digestion
Calmness
Healing takes place
Which one would you rather have workin for you? I have my hand raised for the Parasympathetic. But, let's not be so hard on the Sympathetic...(even though it is the main reason we have all of our negative symptoms). Let me take you back in time. Without the sympathetic nervous system our caveman ancestors would have never survived. They would never have had the instinct or energy to run away from or fight off the saber tooth tigers. We would not be here because our ancestors would have been a lovely smorgasbord for the tigers dinner. The sympathetic also keeps us safe today. Lets say you step off the curb to cross the street and out of nowhere, a bus comes barreling at you. If you didn't have that sympathetic nervous system your legs would not have the quick energy needed to jump out of the way. The adrenaline that the sympathetic nervous system releases makes us super human, in a way, to get us out of danger. Here's the problem though....all of us here with issues with anxiety have learned to make it a habit to kick on this sympathetic system at times that there is no visible danger. Unfortunately, all of this adrenaline is wasted on nothing and is completely responsible for all of our awful symptoms.
Speaking of symptoms.....it is important to understand why our bodies feel so uncomfortable when we activate our sympathetic nervous system. Knowing what is going on inside our wonderful bodies and realizing that these symptoms are actually POSITIVE...that's right Positive....it can help our brains to process the whole experience correctly.
Here goes....
Think about all of the symptoms you wrote down for Week One. This is your sympathetic nervous system working at its best. Let's see what those symptoms of yours really are. Below I have given a list of most of the symptoms from last week and why you would feel them. Hint...they are not there to make you miserable.
1) Heart beating a bit faster, Heart racing, Palpitations:
The body is preparing to fight or take flight. The blood has to move quickly from where it is currently to those muscles that are going to need a boost. The heart does it best to quicken its delivery to those areas of the body. Hence the heart speeds up to get the job done and keep your fighting or flighting body parts in top condition. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
2) Tingling, cool pale skin, pins and needle sensation:
The body is reducing the blood flow to the skin so that it can send the blood to more important areas like the muscles, certain parts of the brain involved with running or fighting, the eyes, nose and ears. This way you can think faster, smell, hear and see more acutely. Also, pulling blood away from the skin also protects you from bleeding due to the cuts and scrapes you will endure from the fight you may need to face. This will cause your skin to tingle or feel numb absolutely any where on your body....face, head, torso, arms, legs, lips, finger tips...etc. Therefore, these are perfectly normal heathy symptoms!
3) Sweating:
As your body prepares to fight off what ever perceived danger is coming your way....it realizes that you are going to heat up as you prepare to wrestle what ever beast that is about to attack. Sweating cools you down while you are fighting so that you don't over heat. Palms, pits, head, back, chest...anywhere on the body that you have skin you will sweat. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
4) Tunnel Vision, hard to focus, difficulty seeing:
Your pupils actually dilate to let more light in. After all you do need to see what is about to attack...right? This make it hard to focus and see clearly. Some people can only see what is right in front of them. Makes sense focusing on the object that you are about to fight which would be in your arms length only...right? Anything beyond your arms...you would be running like heck to escape...right? Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
5) Dry mouth, unable to swallow, nausea, unable to eat, feeling sick to stomach, diarrhea, needing to urinate, feeling of butterflies or bees in stomach:
Gastric juices and saliva production decreases because blood flow to the digestive system is shut down. Your body will eliminate anything currently in the digestive track in order to help you be a bit lighter on your feet when fleeing the scene. After all it more important to save your life then digest that hot dog and fries you had for lunch! Haha! Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
6) Confusion, feeling of not being in reality, unable to think, feeling lightheaded, derealization, unable to concentrate:
Again the blood flow is all about the muscles at this point and will take away from other areas that do nothing to help you run or fight. This temporary blood rush to muscles will decrease flow to the brain a bit. When you are under attack...you definitely do not need to think...you just need to survive...bloods not so important in our grey matter at this time. Therefore these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
7) Shakiness, weakness, jelly legs:
This is just a reaction of adrenaline sitting in your cells not being used up by running or fighting. Get up, walk around, go out for a run, clean the house, hop, dance the funky chicken...use up the adrenaline and those sensations will go away! Again, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
8) Fatigue, tiredness, exhaustion, depression:
Well after experiencing all of the above your body has to have a break!!! These symptoms are there to allow your body a much needed rest!!!
Does this make sense as to why you feel these awful feelings...do you now understand why these feelings really are not that awful? They are there...and only there, to HELP you!!! Granted they don't feel the greatest when you don't know what they are but they really are your friend...believe me, the sympathetic nervous system does not want to turn on.....it gives you those early "warning system" feelings so that it doesn't have to. Therefore, all you need to do now is to learn how to turn this fight or flight system off before it goes into panic.
Here is the question that we have all been waiting for....
So...how do we turn the sympathetic nervous system off???
Answer:
By noticing your "Warning System" and turning on the Parasympathetic Nervous System. OK, this may sound totally easy but the way to turn this parasympathetic system on is by:
1) Taking some slow deep breaths.
2) Talking compassionately, positively and logically to yourself.
3) THATS IT!!!!
(***see note below)
Let's walk through an example of an panic attack/anxiety attack. The first example is NOT using the warning system. The second example is using the warning system. Which one works out better?
PANIC ATTACK EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Adrenaline is released. Heart starts to beat faster)
You put on your coat and grab your keys and think....oh no, what if I get in a traffic jam. What if I begin to not feel well.
(More adrenaline released. Heart begins to beat a lot faster, you also begin to sweat a bit)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....what if I really get sick while driving and loose control of the car, what if I get in an accident.
(More adrenaline. Heart is going a mile a minute, your arms and legs feel weak, it feels like you may not be getting enough air into your lungs)
Now you are thinking...oh no...am I having a heart attack. What is wrong with me. I can't catch my breath.
(The effect of the adrenaline are now being felt. You are light headed, feeling a little dizzy, you are having a hard time focusing)
You decide to get out of the car and go back in the house to lay down. You make it to your bed.
(Now your heart rate is slower but you are so scared about what just happened. You now lay there exhausted, scared and depressed. On top of that....you are now afraid to go back into the car!!!....(this is a "Trigger" now, we will talk about this next weeks))
HERE IS HOW TO STOP THE PANIC ATTACK HABIT USING YOUR... "WARNING SYSTEM"
SAME EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Heart begins to beat faster)
Whoa what was that?....why is my heart beating faster? When my heart is beating faster then usual this is my "Warning System"
(You now have a choice....either choose to ignore your warning system and end up like above in a full fledge panic attack OR begin to activate that parasympathetic system that everyone of us has access to)
Alright, my "Warning System" has been activated! OK....what do I need to do?...oh yeah, there were two steps....step 1...take some slow deep breaths. In through my nose counting up to five. One, two, three, four five. Now out through pursed lips. Five, four, three, two, one. I think I will do this a few more times. In...one, two, three, four, five. Out....five, four, three, two, one. In....one, two, three, four, five. Out...five, four, three, two, one.
(Heart rate slows a bit because of slow deep breathing)
Alright, I did some slow breaths, now step 2....I need to talk compassionately and logically to myself. OK...I have to drive into the city and yes, there may be some traffic...so.....maybe I can listen to that book on tape while I drive today, or turn on my favorite radio talk show. I could stop by the coffee shop and grab a decaf mocha coffee or I could even make a green tea here at home to go.
(Breathing is back to normal)
You put on your coat and grab your keys....oh no, what if I get sick while driving?
(Heart rate picks up again)
There's my warning system again. Take some more slow deep breaths and talk compassionately. OK....I have made this a habit to be scared when I drive. I won't get sick....that's just a scary thought and those feelings were my sympathetic nervous system wanting to turn on. It was just a little adrenaline and adrenaline can never hurt me. Nothing to worry about. I can change this habit by talking compassionately, positively and logically to myself. You are going to be OK.....you have driven downtown before and you can do it again and again. You are going to give yourself some time to overcome this negative thought habit. It took you a long time to develop this fear it will take a little bit of time till it no longer bothers you. It will go away if I keep facing it and retrain my brain to a more positive outlook on driving.
(Heart rate returns to normal)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....I can do this. I just have to keep an eye out for my warning system and if it turns on then activate my parasympathetic system. Take a few breaths and talk logically and compassionately to myself.....I CAN DO THIS!
(Calm, Still have all of your energy, and a bit more confidence)
You drive to get your hot beverage for your ride into the city!
HOMEWORK
1) Watch for your "Warning System"
2) If it is activated......Turn on your Parasympathetic Nervous System
a) Take Slow Deep Breaths. (***see note below)
b) Talk Compassionately, Positively, and Logically
3) Still keep it slow
4) Purchase or find a little notebook that you can carry with you at all times. We will need it starting next week.
Let me know during the week of you have any examples of your warning system turning on and how you manage working through it. Remember you are just starting on this practice...don't expect perfect. It will get easier and easier every time you use it though. We have a lot more to learn over the coming weeks that will help also.
Remember panic attacks did not happen over night. They may have seemed like they did but it took time to create those negative thoughts that scare you. It will take some practice to change those thoughts. We will work next week on those thoughts exclusively.
Until then....
My best to you!
***Note
(from the above homework assignment)
If you are anything like me...my panic attacks, in the beginning, before I really understood what the were...were so fast that step one...the slow deep breaths needed a little booster shot..so to say. Remember...the breaths are the true key here because they are the ultimate reason why your parasympathetic nervous system turns on. This is science...it's a fact....but if you are really in a state where you have gone a bit past your initial warning system and you are heading into panic (which is OK....your new at changing this...right?...as long as you keep working on this...you will eventually get this)....then here is what to do.....
First...definitely do your slow deep breaths...this is the key. While you are doing the slow deep breaths...and talking compassionately to yourself....start adding distraction. I have found the best way to do this is by using your senses. First off senses are always with you...they are free...haha...and they work wonders for helping you to stop the negative thoughts that automatically started the panic to begin with.
You can go in any order you want but go through every sense you have...there are 5 of them...so take your time and really pay attention to each of them. To ahead and try this out right now by asking yourself the below questions....
1) What do I feel right now?
Really allow your fingers to tell you exactly what they are feeling, cold, hot, bumpy, rough, smooth, soft...explore what ever is around you. Close your eyes if this will help you focus....(unless you are driving a car or operating heavy machinery). Enjoy the sensation!
2) What do I hear?
Is it loud, quite, do I hear birds, airplanes, cars, music, talking,...try to hear sounds that are further and further away. Close your eyes and see of you can hear anything else....(again, as long as you are not driving a car or operating any heavy machinery...haha!)
3)What do I smell?
Is it sweet, stinky, pleasant...etc. Does it make you hungry...is the smell familiar, unusual?
4) What do I taste?
Is there something nearby that you can put in your mouth? Is there something you ate recently that you can still savor?
5) What do I see?
Notice what is in front of you...colors, shapes, sizes, beauty, brightness, textures. Look further and further away...what is the furthest thing you can focus on.
Distraction is a powerful tool. Some folks carry worry stones, or prayer cards, or pictures. I know when I was overcoming my fear of driving...I would always have a bottle of water with one of those pop-up squirt tops...the kind they sell at convenience stores. Anyways, if my warning system went off, while I was driving...I would pick up my water bottle and start taking slow sips on the bottle. Not only would this slow my breath but it was a great way to engage my senses. The coolness of the bottle in my hand (touch)...the way the bottle was shaped (see)...the water in my mouth (taste)...the sound the bottle would make as I sipped (hear)...well, there isn't much to smell with water...but, you get my point!
Anyways....give those senses a whirl. Also use them when you are calm for practice. Try deep slow breathing while you are enjoying your senses. I think you will be amazed on what you don't pay attention to....until you begin to pay attention!!!!
As always...my best to you!
Amazing job on expressing your symptoms last week. At one point in my life I had pretty much every single one of them mentioned....really! There is a biological reason that you are experiencing these sensations....believe it or not your body is acting perfectly NORMAL....that's right, normal...there is nothing wrong with you!!! I will explain what I mean and discuss why below, but, for now I want to talk just about these symptoms.
OK, I will agree that these symptoms and the feelings that they cause are horrible. I will also agree that these symptoms can completely scare the heck out of you and make you feel absolutely awful. BUT,....I want you to realize that these symptoms are NOT your enemy. These symptoms will become the closest friend you will ever have. These symptoms will eventually warn you as to when to take action. These symptoms will always be at your side and will always be there to help you to make positive choices. Over the next few weeks I want you to learn to embrace these symptoms and the feelings they create.
OK...Are you rolling your eyes yet? You may be asking yourself.... "How am I suppose embrace these feelings when all they do is bring me to my knees?"
Well, we are going to change the way that we look at these symptoms. We are going to learn what they really are and how to use them to work in our favor....instead of against us.
From here on out when ever you begin to feel these symptoms coming on I want you to look at them as........(drum roll please).....your own personal......
"WARNING SYSTEM"!!!!!!!
Got that....Those first symptoms that you have when in a stressful situation will no longer be called a "symptoms".....they are now to be referred to as, your own personal......."WARNING SYSTEM"!!!
Here's how it works.
Just as you have current warning systems like a fire alarm that makes you quickly move to a safe location, or a timer on your stove that alerts you to check what ever is baking in the oven, or a door buzzer that gets you off the sofa to answer the door,.......this new "Warning System" will also alert you to take action.
This week we will talk about how we can use this new warning system in the event of a Panic Attack. In subsequent weeks we will use it to take appropriate actions to overcome other issues common with folks who think anxiously. I still use this warning system, even now, and I have been over the anxiety habit for five years. So let's finds out how to make this "Warning System" work for us.....instead of hurting us!
First, I need to talk about what causes Panic Attacks. Before we go any further, we all need to be clear on this. Panic attacks are not caused by situations or people in our lives...in other words they are not caused by driving the car, having a fight with our significant other, our tyrant boss, our mean teacher, going to a social gathering, dealing with problematic family members, taking a flight, going to the doctor, leaving your house, being away from your "safe person or place".....etc.
Panic attacks are caused by............. YOU!!!!
They are caused by your thoughts, your actions and reactions! Alright...now that you know what is causing all of this strife...go and change your thoughts, your actions and reactions......problem solved!!! You are now free to live a panic free, non anxious life!
Ahhhhh....Could it be that easy?
Well,......yes and no.
Example:
What if I told you that I was starting up a company and I needed you to accompany me on a business trip to be my translator in Arabic, Mandarin and Japanese. I would pay you $250,000.00 for this two week business trip and we are leaving this coming weekend.
Yikes....if you did not receive the tools in which to learn those languages, no matter what the payout, you could not complete this job!
Overcoming anxiety is the exact same thing. Even if the payout is fantastic, like, living a happy productive, peaceful, positive life....it is still impossible with out some essemblance of tools.
So to answer the question...can overcoming anxiety be that easy? Yes....with tools! No....if you don't even know what anxiety is and why you have it in the first place. So....if your with me so far......let's start understanding anxiety and what causes it! We will learn other tools along the way week by week. This way our brain can really have some time to make the changes needed to overcome this anxiety habit!
Are you ready to kick the habit?
Here we go.....
WHAT CAUSES PANIC ATTACKS?
Please bare with me if you know some of this stuff, but, understanding why our bodies do certain behaviors is imperative to learning how to control them. I promise you....this information all pertains to Panic Attacks. My goal here is to keep this simple...at least that is the way that I learn best.
UNDERSTANDING THE SYMPATHETIC VS THE PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEMS!
OK....these two areas of our central nervous system are very important for us to understand. They are the main reasons that we have body symptoms....the calming and chaotic! Both have very important roles. Let's see what these systems are responsible for:
SYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM (Aka...Fight or Flight System)
Increased Heart
Increased Respiration
Increased Perspiration
Increase Blood pressure
Decrease Digestion
Adrenaline release
PARASYMPATHETIC NERVOUS SYSTEM. (Aka...Rest and Digest)
Normal Heart Beat
Normal Respiration
Increase Digestion
Calmness
Healing takes place
Which one would you rather have workin for you? I have my hand raised for the Parasympathetic. But, let's not be so hard on the Sympathetic...(even though it is the main reason we have all of our negative symptoms). Let me take you back in time. Without the sympathetic nervous system our caveman ancestors would have never survived. They would never have had the instinct or energy to run away from or fight off the saber tooth tigers. We would not be here because our ancestors would have been a lovely smorgasbord for the tigers dinner. The sympathetic also keeps us safe today. Lets say you step off the curb to cross the street and out of nowhere, a bus comes barreling at you. If you didn't have that sympathetic nervous system your legs would not have the quick energy needed to jump out of the way. The adrenaline that the sympathetic nervous system releases makes us super human, in a way, to get us out of danger. Here's the problem though....all of us here with issues with anxiety have learned to make it a habit to kick on this sympathetic system at times that there is no visible danger. Unfortunately, all of this adrenaline is wasted on nothing and is completely responsible for all of our awful symptoms.
Speaking of symptoms.....it is important to understand why our bodies feel so uncomfortable when we activate our sympathetic nervous system. Knowing what is going on inside our wonderful bodies and realizing that these symptoms are actually POSITIVE...that's right Positive....it can help our brains to process the whole experience correctly.
Here goes....
Think about all of the symptoms you wrote down for Week One. This is your sympathetic nervous system working at its best. Let's see what those symptoms of yours really are. Below I have given a list of most of the symptoms from last week and why you would feel them. Hint...they are not there to make you miserable.
1) Heart beating a bit faster, Heart racing, Palpitations:
The body is preparing to fight or take flight. The blood has to move quickly from where it is currently to those muscles that are going to need a boost. The heart does it best to quicken its delivery to those areas of the body. Hence the heart speeds up to get the job done and keep your fighting or flighting body parts in top condition. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
2) Tingling, cool pale skin, pins and needle sensation:
The body is reducing the blood flow to the skin so that it can send the blood to more important areas like the muscles, certain parts of the brain involved with running or fighting, the eyes, nose and ears. This way you can think faster, smell, hear and see more acutely. Also, pulling blood away from the skin also protects you from bleeding due to the cuts and scrapes you will endure from the fight you may need to face. This will cause your skin to tingle or feel numb absolutely any where on your body....face, head, torso, arms, legs, lips, finger tips...etc. Therefore, these are perfectly normal heathy symptoms!
3) Sweating:
As your body prepares to fight off what ever perceived danger is coming your way....it realizes that you are going to heat up as you prepare to wrestle what ever beast that is about to attack. Sweating cools you down while you are fighting so that you don't over heat. Palms, pits, head, back, chest...anywhere on the body that you have skin you will sweat. Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
4) Tunnel Vision, hard to focus, difficulty seeing:
Your pupils actually dilate to let more light in. After all you do need to see what is about to attack...right? This make it hard to focus and see clearly. Some people can only see what is right in front of them. Makes sense focusing on the object that you are about to fight which would be in your arms length only...right? Anything beyond your arms...you would be running like heck to escape...right? Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
5) Dry mouth, unable to swallow, nausea, unable to eat, feeling sick to stomach, diarrhea, needing to urinate, feeling of butterflies or bees in stomach:
Gastric juices and saliva production decreases because blood flow to the digestive system is shut down. Your body will eliminate anything currently in the digestive track in order to help you be a bit lighter on your feet when fleeing the scene. After all it more important to save your life then digest that hot dog and fries you had for lunch! Haha! Therefore, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
6) Confusion, feeling of not being in reality, unable to think, feeling lightheaded, derealization, unable to concentrate:
Again the blood flow is all about the muscles at this point and will take away from other areas that do nothing to help you run or fight. This temporary blood rush to muscles will decrease flow to the brain a bit. When you are under attack...you definitely do not need to think...you just need to survive...bloods not so important in our grey matter at this time. Therefore these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
7) Shakiness, weakness, jelly legs:
This is just a reaction of adrenaline sitting in your cells not being used up by running or fighting. Get up, walk around, go out for a run, clean the house, hop, dance the funky chicken...use up the adrenaline and those sensations will go away! Again, these are perfectly normal healthy symptoms!
8) Fatigue, tiredness, exhaustion, depression:
Well after experiencing all of the above your body has to have a break!!! These symptoms are there to allow your body a much needed rest!!!
Does this make sense as to why you feel these awful feelings...do you now understand why these feelings really are not that awful? They are there...and only there, to HELP you!!! Granted they don't feel the greatest when you don't know what they are but they really are your friend...believe me, the sympathetic nervous system does not want to turn on.....it gives you those early "warning system" feelings so that it doesn't have to. Therefore, all you need to do now is to learn how to turn this fight or flight system off before it goes into panic.
Here is the question that we have all been waiting for....
So...how do we turn the sympathetic nervous system off???
Answer:
By noticing your "Warning System" and turning on the Parasympathetic Nervous System. OK, this may sound totally easy but the way to turn this parasympathetic system on is by:
1) Taking some slow deep breaths.
2) Talking compassionately, positively and logically to yourself.
3) THATS IT!!!!
(***see note below)
Let's walk through an example of an panic attack/anxiety attack. The first example is NOT using the warning system. The second example is using the warning system. Which one works out better?
PANIC ATTACK EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Adrenaline is released. Heart starts to beat faster)
You put on your coat and grab your keys and think....oh no, what if I get in a traffic jam. What if I begin to not feel well.
(More adrenaline released. Heart begins to beat a lot faster, you also begin to sweat a bit)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....what if I really get sick while driving and loose control of the car, what if I get in an accident.
(More adrenaline. Heart is going a mile a minute, your arms and legs feel weak, it feels like you may not be getting enough air into your lungs)
Now you are thinking...oh no...am I having a heart attack. What is wrong with me. I can't catch my breath.
(The effect of the adrenaline are now being felt. You are light headed, feeling a little dizzy, you are having a hard time focusing)
You decide to get out of the car and go back in the house to lay down. You make it to your bed.
(Now your heart rate is slower but you are so scared about what just happened. You now lay there exhausted, scared and depressed. On top of that....you are now afraid to go back into the car!!!....(this is a "Trigger" now, we will talk about this next weeks))
HERE IS HOW TO STOP THE PANIC ATTACK HABIT USING YOUR... "WARNING SYSTEM"
SAME EXAMPLE:
Let's say, you have to drive into the city for an appointment. The morning of, as you are getting ready to leave, you start to think....oh boy, I have to drive all the way downtown, with all of that crazy traffic and congestion. I hate driving in those conditions.
(Sympathetic nervous system is engaged. Heart begins to beat faster)
Whoa what was that?....why is my heart beating faster? When my heart is beating faster then usual this is my "Warning System"
(You now have a choice....either choose to ignore your warning system and end up like above in a full fledge panic attack OR begin to activate that parasympathetic system that everyone of us has access to)
Alright, my "Warning System" has been activated! OK....what do I need to do?...oh yeah, there were two steps....step 1...take some slow deep breaths. In through my nose counting up to five. One, two, three, four five. Now out through pursed lips. Five, four, three, two, one. I think I will do this a few more times. In...one, two, three, four, five. Out....five, four, three, two, one. In....one, two, three, four, five. Out...five, four, three, two, one.
(Heart rate slows a bit because of slow deep breathing)
Alright, I did some slow breaths, now step 2....I need to talk compassionately and logically to myself. OK...I have to drive into the city and yes, there may be some traffic...so.....maybe I can listen to that book on tape while I drive today, or turn on my favorite radio talk show. I could stop by the coffee shop and grab a decaf mocha coffee or I could even make a green tea here at home to go.
(Breathing is back to normal)
You put on your coat and grab your keys....oh no, what if I get sick while driving?
(Heart rate picks up again)
There's my warning system again. Take some more slow deep breaths and talk compassionately. OK....I have made this a habit to be scared when I drive. I won't get sick....that's just a scary thought and those feelings were my sympathetic nervous system wanting to turn on. It was just a little adrenaline and adrenaline can never hurt me. Nothing to worry about. I can change this habit by talking compassionately, positively and logically to myself. You are going to be OK.....you have driven downtown before and you can do it again and again. You are going to give yourself some time to overcome this negative thought habit. It took you a long time to develop this fear it will take a little bit of time till it no longer bothers you. It will go away if I keep facing it and retrain my brain to a more positive outlook on driving.
(Heart rate returns to normal)
You now walk to the car and slip into the seat. While adjusting the mirror you start to think....I can do this. I just have to keep an eye out for my warning system and if it turns on then activate my parasympathetic system. Take a few breaths and talk logically and compassionately to myself.....I CAN DO THIS!
(Calm, Still have all of your energy, and a bit more confidence)
You drive to get your hot beverage for your ride into the city!
HOMEWORK
1) Watch for your "Warning System"
2) If it is activated......Turn on your Parasympathetic Nervous System
a) Take Slow Deep Breaths. (***see note below)
b) Talk Compassionately, Positively, and Logically
3) Still keep it slow
4) Purchase or find a little notebook that you can carry with you at all times. We will need it starting next week.
Let me know during the week of you have any examples of your warning system turning on and how you manage working through it. Remember you are just starting on this practice...don't expect perfect. It will get easier and easier every time you use it though. We have a lot more to learn over the coming weeks that will help also.
Remember panic attacks did not happen over night. They may have seemed like they did but it took time to create those negative thoughts that scare you. It will take some practice to change those thoughts. We will work next week on those thoughts exclusively.
Until then....
My best to you!
***Note
(from the above homework assignment)
If you are anything like me...my panic attacks, in the beginning, before I really understood what the were...were so fast that step one...the slow deep breaths needed a little booster shot..so to say. Remember...the breaths are the true key here because they are the ultimate reason why your parasympathetic nervous system turns on. This is science...it's a fact....but if you are really in a state where you have gone a bit past your initial warning system and you are heading into panic (which is OK....your new at changing this...right?...as long as you keep working on this...you will eventually get this)....then here is what to do.....
First...definitely do your slow deep breaths...this is the key. While you are doing the slow deep breaths...and talking compassionately to yourself....start adding distraction. I have found the best way to do this is by using your senses. First off senses are always with you...they are free...haha...and they work wonders for helping you to stop the negative thoughts that automatically started the panic to begin with.
You can go in any order you want but go through every sense you have...there are 5 of them...so take your time and really pay attention to each of them. To ahead and try this out right now by asking yourself the below questions....
1) What do I feel right now?
Really allow your fingers to tell you exactly what they are feeling, cold, hot, bumpy, rough, smooth, soft...explore what ever is around you. Close your eyes if this will help you focus....(unless you are driving a car or operating heavy machinery). Enjoy the sensation!
2) What do I hear?
Is it loud, quite, do I hear birds, airplanes, cars, music, talking,...try to hear sounds that are further and further away. Close your eyes and see of you can hear anything else....(again, as long as you are not driving a car or operating any heavy machinery...haha!)
3)What do I smell?
Is it sweet, stinky, pleasant...etc. Does it make you hungry...is the smell familiar, unusual?
4) What do I taste?
Is there something nearby that you can put in your mouth? Is there something you ate recently that you can still savor?
5) What do I see?
Notice what is in front of you...colors, shapes, sizes, beauty, brightness, textures. Look further and further away...what is the furthest thing you can focus on.
Distraction is a powerful tool. Some folks carry worry stones, or prayer cards, or pictures. I know when I was overcoming my fear of driving...I would always have a bottle of water with one of those pop-up squirt tops...the kind they sell at convenience stores. Anyways, if my warning system went off, while I was driving...I would pick up my water bottle and start taking slow sips on the bottle. Not only would this slow my breath but it was a great way to engage my senses. The coolness of the bottle in my hand (touch)...the way the bottle was shaped (see)...the water in my mouth (taste)...the sound the bottle would make as I sipped (hear)...well, there isn't much to smell with water...but, you get my point!
Anyways....give those senses a whirl. Also use them when you are calm for practice. Try deep slow breathing while you are enjoying your senses. I think you will be amazed on what you don't pay attention to....until you begin to pay attention!!!!
As always...my best to you!
Part of me wants to fight you on the "it's just my thoughts" thing. Mostly because I have so many coping skills like positive thinking and meditation and this and that and I practice them daily but they only help while im doing them and maybe a few minutes after, if at all...
ITS SO FRUSTRATING. I can't possibly do these skills just 24/7 you know...
But another part of me knows that I am CONSTANTLY thinking about dying and how badly I want to live. I am in a constant state of distress over why i'm feeling the way I am.
there are also things my sickness keeps me from doing. I want to do yoga but I'm scared my body will start shaking and i'll fall over for example. I just don't feel good enough. All I can do is sleep or distract myself. Sometimes i'm lucky enough to be able to go out and walk a little. Other than that my active job that's all I can muster.
As a teen and adolescent i wanted to die.
Now i want to live so damn badly and i'm terrified I won't get to.
Right now i'm just getting by at best. This isn't living, even if i'm still alive.
Raspberry....The mother in me wants to just hug you and tell you that everything will be OK. The reality though is that I can not do that....overcoming anxiety is an inside job. The only person that can fix you...is you. I eventually (and thankfully) had to learn this lesson myself. I remember pacing in my basement praying that someone, anyone would walk into my life and fix me. Every fiber of my being was on fire all the time...I never was with out the adrenaline pulsing through my veins. I felt so helpless and out of control. My thoughts were dark and scary...it was like colors were no longer in my life. Even if it was sunny and beautiful out...all I could see was grey.
There is a happy ending here...I promise!
Anyway...when I finally found out what it was that I was experiencing...which was anxiety, that had turned into depression, because I could not find a way to make those feeling stop. Well, this is when my life began to turn around.
I had to work every moment of everyday (in the beginning at least) to change the automatic thought process that was keeping me in that awful condition. This is why we are learning how to change these anxious thoughts on a week to week basis. It give our brains time to make sense of what we are doing to perpetuate anxiety and what we will learn to do to help turn anxiety off.
Raspberry.... I want to reiterate (because you used the words that you "wanted to die" at one point in your life) ...I am not a medical professional. I am just a girl who had anxiety and resulting depression...who found my way out....and have devoted the rest of my life helping others to do the same. If you (or anyone) are having thoughts of suicide ...there are many professionals who can help in this area. Please seek these professionals out.
With that being said...I had scary thoughts about not being able to continue on with my life when I was at my worst. There is a big difference between scary thoughts and actually not wanting to live and contemplating ending life. When I was anxious the mere thought or hearing someone talk of this matter would send me into complete anxiety. Folks who are suicidal find peace in that thought. Do you understand the difference?
OK...here is the mom in me....(((((HUG))))))!!!!!!
Nothing will make me happier then if you join us on these 12 weeks and begin to learn that it's OK to go to that yoga class and fall over. You will begin to realize that nothing bad will happen to you because of this. We are not perfect....there is not one person on the face of this earth that is perfect. Here is the thing that we all need to learn to be successful in any area of our lives. You are going to fall over from time to time...this is inevitable. Learning to get back up again after you fall over is what makes every area of your life better!!!!
I was once a negative thinker, just like you. I have learned how to override this not very helpful...(to say the least)....thought process. You can too! There is nothing special about me...I have no super powers..I am the same as everyone else!!! The only thing that I have that you will eventually have is....
The knowledge of what anxiety truly is, then learning what you are doing to perpetuate it, and finally learning what to do in order to turn it off. After that it is just time and practice practice practice. That's it!
I look forward to walking with you on this journey. Please please please comment if you have questions. Know that there are many folks here on DS that will also have helpful ideas to assist you on this journey.
My best to you all!!!
Thank you for the hug
Thank you for the hug I want nothing more than to be okay. To live a long happy life with my boyfriend and someday to be husband. I am fighting every day. I am broken down and frustrated. I'm not looking at life as optimistically as I could be but I am trying. So. Hard. I intend to stick with this 12 week program. Thank you for hosting it. I've been in a DBT class for a few weeks now and I enjoy hearing other people share their experiences if nothing else.
I look forward to this journey with you.
May I suggest looking into learning and practicing a couple different relaxation techniques. I, myself, learned yoga when I was first learning how to overcome anxiety. The stretching, deep breathing and relaxation that are all part of yoga....were the perfect combination to calm my overactive mind and body.
Another thing is meditation. Meditations sole purpose is to learn how to ignore the constant chatter that is going on inside our heads. It also focuses on the breath which you now is the answer to turning off anxiety.
Keep working on it....and don't forget to pat yourself on the back....you are learning brand new ways of reacting here. Baby steps will still take you to where you ultimately want to be.
My best to you!