Hello Endless, I’m sorry you are going through this! I know how isolating anxiety can be and how it can affect your daily life. When you are having anxiety, does your family see it or are you that good at hiding it? Have you ever thought of having a heart-to-heart with your parents about what is anxiety and how it makes you feel personally and how that it is a “joke” to them upsets you. Maybe if they see the pain in your eyes, they will understand more how anxiety takes over your life sometimes. I think the more you open up hopefully the more you will be respected. Also, do you see a therapist? Have you talked with your dr. about how you feel? You might not get the support you need from family and friends that don’t understand but you sure can support yourself and get outside help! Big hugs - Emma

Hi Emma,
Thank you for your reply. I don't really hide it other than maybe hiding how bad it is. I think my problem is I'm never 100% honest about it so people see it as a minor inconvenience in my life rather than something that is really consuming.
Currently I don't see a therapist. I have talked to my doctor about it in the past, I was on medication for a little while but I took myself off of it. I have been thinking about maybe discussing going back on medication but I'm having a hard time doing that because it would be like me admitting that I can't do it on my own. It's just really hard for me to admit to people in my life (friends, family, doctors) that it's starting to get out of hand and I need help.

Hiya wow reading this is like reading my thoughts, I have exactly the same situation with my family (well most of them). The older members seem to believe in tough love - I've had many angry conversation where I've been told it's about time I got over this, or toughen up, stop being a victim etc. Unless you live with it I don't think anyone can know the extent of what you feel and you can't just shake it off.

For years my worse enermy was myself, I felt guilty everyday that after reading books, getting therapy, CBT, hypotherpy etc. I couldn't get back to the person I was and felt almost worthless. I now try to accept who I am, keep working on myself and tell me family if they don't like it, please just keep any negative opionions to themselves as it sets me back further. It's so hard to hear people you love say they think what you're feeling isn't rational, they shouldn't judge, maybe appeal to their good nature and be honest about how you feel. I covered my aniexty up for years to some of my family and certain friends and after a while I stopped seeing them or going out because I got tired of putting on an act, I wish I had just said, sorry I don't feel like going out because I'm having a bad day but would be great to catch you next time. The more open you can be the better I believe, as then you will know who really cares and hopefully they'll accept you're having a tough time and if they can't support you - that's ok, not everyone can deal wth talking about feelings. Take care :)

Endless, I promise you there is nothing wrong with being on medication if it helps you cope better with your anxiety and get through life! There is nothing worse then anxiety getting out of control and it starting to dictate your life. Trust me, I know! Now might be a good time to start your journey on self-love and tell yourself that you deserve more then what you’ve been coping with.
Big hugs again-Emma

Thank you Emma and Tee,

This was really helpful. It was nice to hear some encouraging words and have people understand what I am going through. I really appreciate it.

Hello, it's good to talk if you feel you can't talk to anyone face to face you have done the next best thing, you are speaking out to strangers who will become friends, I don't talk to anyone about my feelings but the only person in my life understands and knows when something is wrong.
But I also find opening up to DS friends helps everyone is so friendly, stay strong you are not alone. Good luck.

Hi. I could have written your post as well...except about talking to friends/family about anxiety. I just keep it hidden and deal with it on my own. No one---and I mean no one---could even imagine what having anxiety 24/7 is like nor could the most prolific of writers describe it.

I tried different meds but they didn't work for me. I saw a psychiatrist for a couple years and used up the therapy sessions my insur would cover. I may try that again in the future

I'll share with you a couple of resources that I do like. One is The Anxiety Guy. Just google that and you will get all his info. He is very active and puts material out there constantly. He does podcasts, youtube, and all social media. He keeps me ground on some of my worst days. Sometimes I wonder how he got into my head!

I just discovered a new resource that I listen to and that's Dr. Joe Dispenza. I ran across him on youtube and became an instant fan.

Anxiety is like a car on a car lot. You look at the car. It's all washed, waxed and looking good. But what the admirer doesn't know is that the transmission does not work. The transmission is anxiety. That's those of us with anxiety. People see what's on the outside but have no idea what's on the inside.

Welcome to DS. It does make me feel like I'm not alone here and hope you get the same feeling.

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

You've taken the important first step in writing it out.

Here you will find understanding, encouragement, support, and ways to help.

This is really similar to something I was just talking about with a therapist. One thing the therapist brought up is to ask myself what I want out a support person, be it a friend or family. Do I want someone who will just listen, or empathize or is in a similar situation and will really understand? And that I can also remember that not everyone in my support group needs to be able to offer the same thing. Some people just won't be capable of filling some needs, and expecting them to will just cause frustration and disappointment.

You could also maybe try to set boundaries or expectations. Little things like saying "I don't need feedback on this, I just want to be able to talk about some things..." Typically people respond the way they do because they're trying to be helpful, so giving them some guidance oh what would actually be helpful can go a long way.

Just some thoughts.

Hi, I hope you're doing okay today. I think you should start by having a one on one with the closest of your loved ones which maybe your parents. I suggest explaining to them that you want to talk about how your anxiety makes you feel first and then maybe you could go into talking about how they make you feel when they make light of it. This is also to a good time to address how your protective mechanism has been making light of it yourself; that way they can understand where each party went wrong going about the situation. After discussing it with them and hearing everyone's feedback it might encourage you to have the same talk with other family members and friends. Take care of yourself.

Illnesses that people can't physically see is hard for alot of people to understand. Many people have said they have never been real depressed or have experienced regular anxiety. So I would think it would be very hard to be accepting and understand what we are going through. That is why we keep it a secret. Because if we were honest - would we be hired? Would we be labeled? Would they trust us with children? Alot of people would judge - and that is why I have always not really been open through my years.

I can definitely understand that. I hid my anxiety for years, to the point that even telling my family about it, they don’t believe me. So I’ve only had conversations with some siblings and and my sister in laws about anxiety, because they understand and have had anxiety themselves. I hope you’re able to have an honest conversation with your family to be able to open up. It will be a relief to talk to loved ones about it and hopefully have them support you as well. Good luck!

Talking to people you care about can be difficult. You want them to know what's going on in your life, but without scaring them, and also hoping that they'll support you and try to understand. Unfortunately, not everyone can. I have a few people in my life I consider 'safe' people to tell everything to, even the scary stuff. The other people just know I have anxiety. Here we all understand what you're going through so this is a good place to get it all out.