Most anti-depressants make me even worse so I understand how you feel. I started adderall to help with motivation and to stay awake. Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon.

I have anxiety and depression also and I have not experienced the anti depressant making me feel worse, though I was so bad I feel better. how long have you been on Lexapro? is it your first anti depressant? I take Effexor and Cymbalta, with many meds for anxiety. I also take trazodone for sleep. my primary anxiety med is klonopin and it worls good for me, though I still have break throughs. I relate totally to the feeling of not contributing and not caring. it is a viscious cycle. maybe you just nedd some down time, as you said you have been going none stop for awhile, maybe your body needs a break. it is hard to not feel bad or guilty about not having motivation, but a few days is ok, how long has it been? do you see a therapist. I hope you feel better soon. what kind of art do you do?

I've been on Lexapro for almost five weeks now. Last week I felt really good. Like, happy. So, I concluded I was doing much better and the lexapro was helping. But, honestly, I've been up and down since I've been on it. I started seeing a counselor several weeks ago but she's not a therapist. I've been trying to work on some cognitive behavioral therapy techniques on my own. I've been thinking of asking my counselor how I could actually start therapy. (I am a military spouse living overseas and it seems a little tricky to convince them to provide you with continuous therapy).

I have been on antidepressants before and I have always been very wary of them. My previous experience was that the side effects were worse than the benefits or that they just made me feel worse overall. Prozac made me worse, zoloft had no affect, and paxil helped me, sort of.

I am a painter and print-maker and I would say I have done very little work for a couple of months now. Of course, during that time, I've been working pretty hard on all of my issues and continuing with other commitments, including a class I'm taking, so it isn't like I am doing nothing.

Still, I just feel very purposeless right now. Much of this stems from being overseas and not really knowing what to do with myself. Also discouraged, because I thought I was feeling better and now I'm not. However, I do feel different... I was having crazy anxiety when all this started and now I feel depressed and deflated.

Not sure if that is an improvement??

You will find your way through this. As a military spouse living overseas, you have to figure out what you are willing to do daily, no matter the weather, the circumstances and start from there to build your normal daily routine that will help you relax, gain strength, and enjoy the moment, no matter where you are at with anxiety and depression.

CBT is helpful, and can be done self-help. Use of a journal private can show you the pattern of your thinking that you can switch to positive.

As the tour overseas provides opportunity to see, feel, and experience life as it is where you are at, try sight-seeing, and doing things that allow you to be present in the local scene. We took walks down by the river, up through market, took train trips to places we were interested in seeing, and made time to have fun.

Take time to appreciate your ability to notice that you are feeling this way (it is normal). Medicine is temporary to help you get your normal range of anxiety back.

Hope this helps, best wishes, and smile!

Hi JudyFZ....sorry your feeling out of sorts. When I get into a slump...(I am an interior designer)....I kick on my "be good to me" mode! Be good to me, is eating good healthy food, exercising, drinking hot tea, listen to music that fills me with happiness.....I am listening to funk at the moment...haha...earlier it was Lawrence Welk! (I have a deverse interest in music...haha!) Anyway, treat yourself with love and really respect your emotions. How would you treat a friend who was off sorts....treat yourself that way.

As far as the medicines go, I never used them....I found exercising lifted my depression and still keeps me level till this day. Beleive me, if I skip a few days....my brain lets me know. The fog comes in and I have to do a few more jogs on the treadmill to get it to lift. I can't wait till spring so I can workout outside.

Speaking of outside....I know my creative mind loves to get out in nature. Try going somewhere you can find beauty and use all of your senses to bring that beauty inside of you. Charge your batteries so to speak. Bring tht feeling with you to your studio and see what happens.

My best to you!

Thank you so much for your responses. @mideyebrow, the only time I don't feel anxious or depressed is when we are traveling somewhere in Europe, even just taking a day trip. I have instituted a rule that we have to get out and do something cultural or touristy at least once a month. My husband and I are both homebodies, so it's a little difficult to get out - sometimes I really have to work on him, other times he has to work on me. But we do try.

As far as doing CBT self help, I'm working my way through Mind over Mood. Hoping I can develop all the tools I need to feel good consistently without drugs.

@AdventureGuide, you are so right. I feel so good when I get out and take a long walk or bike ride. The weather is starting to get nice and I know I can get out of my funk if I just go get some sunlight. I do yoga every day, but that doesn't help with the lack of light and fresh air. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and advice.

I agree with you both about the importance of self-care. I am trying to remind myself that right now this is what I need. Even though it might seem like I'm not doing much, I'm actually doing a lot of work on myself. Someone in an earlier post told me to go back to zero and build up again. I think that's what I need to do. My class ends this week, which frees my schedule up again completely and I can build a new routine that balances self-care, exercise, relaxation and enjoyment, and work. I think I'm on the verge of figuring it all out, anyway.

I sure can relate to this on so many levels. I too am an artist and have been going through a dry spell for several years now. However, it doesn't mean my life is over or that I am bad for having blocks and dry spells.....it means I've got some things to deal with that are causing it.
I have been stressed for so long that I guess I just needed to come up for air and take inventory.
I feel like I am getting closer to picking up my art tools and begin again....very soon.
I know how debilitating depression can be and how it's just not that simple in overcoming it.
Keep searching for the right meds, but don't forget to add good eating and exercise (when you can). I too suffer from insomnia.....that just started a year ago....uuuggghhhh.
I have decided that sleep will come when it comes and to not sweat it too much. I found sleeping with the TV on (thank God I'm single) helps me sleep better.
Not sure about the melatonin causing depression. I'm diabetic and as crazy as it sounds, I drink 2 teaspoons of apple cider vinegar diluted in a glass of water an hour before bed. Since I have started that routine.....I sleep soundly the whole night. I do have to get up to pee a few times, but I fall right back to sleep :)
Not crazy about the taste....but I've had worse. I mainly drink it to get my morning blood sugar numbers down, but the sleep part is an added plus. My friend who is not diabetic tried it and said he sleeps better too. You can add honey or some kind of sweetner if needed. This is just a suggestion.....do what you want.

Well....I hope you get to feeling better soon. Just think of this as a little bump in the road...ok?

Thank you MsBlank. I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one. I have a hard time going easy on myself when I hit these bumps in the road, as you call them, but I think I'm getting better at it.

I'm trying to think of this time as a germinating period. When I feel better, the ideas and work will flow more easily than they did before. (I'm hoping). I'm still getting used to having a sustained artistic process and I'm afraid I will lose it again. I actually gave up on art for ten years and then felt called back to it after working in another career.

I hope you can get to work again soon, too.

I have never heard about the vinegar water. Sounds like it tastes terrible, but some nights I'm willing to try anything!