Hello Newto. Welcome to DS. Sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here.

I, too, was shutdown during the vulnerable stages of a major life transition. The suspended animation since has been harder than hard and isn't getting any easier for the never-ending extensions of ^it^. Am I a failure or a victim? Can I get a third choice in here?

I wish I had easy answers for all of us, but? ? ? Maybe we can figure ^it^ out together? Just hoping. . . Prayers in progress.

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

One of the things we have to do when we need to remind ourselves that we have worth, we are valuable is to look at how our strengths work for us.

Keep on keeping on, and look for other ways you can use your skills.

Best wishes.

I'm not sure why you chose to stop Paxil or how long it took to stop altogether. What I will share from my own experience is that after many years of a depression med (Cymbalta) I chose to stop after several reductions in dosages. It was manageable at first then became a nightmare of symptoms including major fear at night, increased depression, and crying at the drop of a hat. I'm not here to promote meds or even alternatives, but to say if you felt much better before while on Paxil, I would consider going back to your starting place and work with your doctor on a better plan if it was to stop Paxil. I am back on my med and feeling much better. My apologies if I am misunderstanding your post. I hope you feel better soon.

Welcome newto. Its hard to see through the fog but you are an accomplished individual.
I was on paxil for about twenty years and thought maybe it wasn’t working as good as it should.
I am back on it now but it takes time to get the desired effect.
You are taking steps to get well. Stay the course.

To me, it sounds like your overthinking everything. My partner tells me all the time I just need to relax. I know it feels like everything is piling up on you. It's overwhelming at times. Things will fall into place when they are meant to. Don't give up the ship just yet, my friend. Meds can only take you so far, you have to do the rest, and I know that your trying to shuffle a million things at once. Your not alone, for sure. Just take a deep breath and remember to breathe. Things may look bleak right now, but things will get better. The sun always comes out after a storm. That's the good thing about storms, they come and go.
Stay with it, my friend. Everything will turn out. Just got to be patient.

Thank you all for the kind messages and support. It's my 3rd day on my new medication, and although I'm still in a stress-ridden fog, I've reached out to family to stay with them for help and have already seen improvement. I've come to terms that I will need to rely on meds for a while longer, if not forever. And I have been trying to manage everything on my own. Hearing support from you all had helped immensely already and I truly thank you.

Hi! I'm new to this group too! I can totally relate to where you are. I'm going through a severe episode of anxiety. Sometimes I can eat, sometimes I cannot. I was coming down off of my Cymbalta (antidepressant) when the episode hit. I had to go back up, but it's taking time to recover. I'm on month 2 now of anxiety 24/7. We must remember this will pass. I can also relate to you on the feelings of inadequacy with work stuff. I've been trying to pass the bar exam for years and haven't yet because of the anxiety. But we have to keep pushing no matter what. There is no other choice. This too shall pass, and we will be better and stronger for it. I sincerely think soon everything will turn around for you and this will feel like a distant memory.

Thanks for replying @jmel86. It's comforting knowing that others are going through the same journey. I ate a full meal last night for the first time in a week, and although today has been rough I keep reminding myself that I am at least capable of that. I hope you are able to work through this as well, and best of luck on your path to passing your exam.

Yeah it can be rough going through these things. I for one majored in graphic arts back in college (back in the mid 90s). When I graduated and started looking for a job in my field all I heard was, "You have nice work, but you don't have the experience we want." Some of these positions were in entry level jobs, but I couldn't even get into those even though I had an internship under my belt. I ended up having to get jobs outside my field over the years to meat ends meet. The end result was I put on a lot of weight, got massively stressed, and developed health issues.

Well, live moved on, and even though I lost my last job years ago and had to move home to help take care of a disabled family member, I have not given up hope. I have started trying to teach myself how to write stories, and I am trying to get back into art (trying to learn digital art).

Just trying to say, hang in there buddy. We are all rooting for you.

Sounds like things are getting better, it takes time. Ask your Dr if you can take magnesium also, since it calms the mind body and spirit and also ginseng since it gets rid of those sticky negative thoughts that loop. Walks outside are great and helpful for sure. Keep on keeping on, you are strong and will over come! Look to new things to stretch yourself and help recover. Blessings! =)

Glad to hear things have improved some New.

I too have been on SSRIs for years and had started reducing my dosage a bit because I had been doing well for so long and thought being able to go back up if necessary would be a good took to have. For the first 3 or 4 months of the pandemic I was fine. But then I started falling into this pattern of anxiety popping in for a visit for a couple days about every other week. And each time he showed up he stayed a little longer and was a little more rowdy.

I think this pandemic, and all the stress and isolation that goes with it, is like steroids for anxiety. It's showing up and kicking down doors all over town.

Glad you found your way here, and glad you're getting the help you need.