SeekingStrength19

So I just got off the phone with my mother.  It was a "typical" conversation ... she calls, she talks, I listen.  When she called I was sitting at my sister's piano (I'm house/dog sitting) and was...

I've been in such a weird space the last couple of weeks.  I'm really trying to be positive but it seems so difficult.  It's past Midnight ... so technically it's Sunday.  Only today and then it's...

Fear. It came up in therapy today. I had been talking about a friend of mine and how she plans out entire conversations ahead of time, even thinking about alternate endings and responses she may...

My last journal entry was pathetic.  True, but pathetic.  I'm trying to change my attitude and am finding some success.  I said I was "waiting for nothing" in my last entry ... I'm changing that...

I need to try harder ... I need to focus.   I'm not completely unfocused, or unable to focus, like when I was experiencing all the drama associated with the PTSD and EMDR treatments.  That was...

Spent the weekend with my family. Not easy. Not easy at all. I'm too tired to write out all of the details but there are many. If only I had a weekend to rest and recover from my weekend. I don't...

I read this recently and couldn't agree with it more!  Thought I'd post it to my journal, to share. "When discipline is imposed from the outside, it may be problematic.  But when it comes from the...

I'm super excited!  My second opinion went well this morning.  Today's doctor said that the other doctor was both right and wrong, in that his approach was very aggressive and old fashioned. ...

I'm stressed.  Last Tuesday I went to the podiatrist because my foot had been bothering me.  Although I'm a fat blob of goo ... I maintain an active lifestyle and my feet are important to me.  I...

It's weird.  I feel like I've been finding my way in the dark.  Figuratively speaking, feeling my way, with my hands, feet and by bumping into things with my head and body.  Tactile.  Slow. ...

Went to bed last night around 10pm.  Woke up just before midnight from a horrible, horrible nightmare.  I normally don't get scared or feel fear ... but last night was different.  I got a full...

It's been an interesting weekend ... actually it's been an interesting couple of weeks.  I don't feel numb anymore, which is good, but I also don't seem to get angry at all anymore.  I just accept...

For so long I wanted to be left alone.  To be alone.  To keep others away from my pain ... my suffering ... from me.  Now as I turn a page in whatever script my life seems to be following ... I...

  "We should think, 'If I live, I will benefit beings. If I die, I will benefit beings. I will benefit beings as the basis, as the path, and as the result.' There is simply no other intention than...

Today was a challenging day.  I guess these are bound to pop up from time to time so I'm just taking it in stride.  I know I'm getting better, since a day like this would have sunk me a few months...