LornaR

Can't even tell why. Too many thoughts. Why does it have to be painful? It's eating me alive today. May be it's cause I spent yesterday around people. I swear I'm worse. I can only handle like 1 day...

Feeling fairly normal today!!! :-) I wish I knew what I did right. It's been a long time. I still don't want to see people. But hanging out has been good today and pretty much yesterday too. The...

Wow. It's over. Not the delusions, I'm still connected real strong, but the desire to die. I wish I knew how to make this work. It just comes and goes. I've been talking to some demons (tortured...

I love this fucking song, the house is warm and my sleeping bag is in the livingroom. The kids are grown and I'm alone. I hate having to remind myself it could be worse but the truth is it could. I...

A friend stopped by today. i thought may be it'd be good for me. Not good at all. Like the Spirits need me to just concentrate on them and he stayed like way too long. Oh fuck my fucking skin is...

I wish they had parinoid in there. I have these memories of writing in here when I was like filled with psychosis and considering ending it all and that just ended, yet another session of it, just...

Oh this might sound crazy and remember I am just a sick person trying to survive but I have come in touch with the presence that brings these visions and talk to them. Sometimes they are looking for...

I have the best therapist. God is so good. God loves me so much. She doesn't dismiss me. She's like a psychologist Shaman! I just got off the phone with her cause I was feeling so scary and she just...

I am so happy so happy so happy. Thank you thank you thank you. You're welcome, you're welcome you're welcome. Peace everyone. Peace love love peace.

So I've been communicating with spirits full time as of late sometimes feeling very psychotic around other people. Bring it on. I have no fear. I'm learning about them and giving them names. I'm kind...

The energy is gone. Sleeping so good. Lots of dreams. Sometimes I live for dreams. Been writing them down. Grateful I don't have some silly job I have to show up for. Felt happy this morning. I think...

I just read my last entry. The depression is worse. Still have energy though. I wish I could just sleep it off. It's 1 am. I wish I was asleep. I keep having impulses to die. Like or to think of ways...

Been feeling shaky like okay and then totally depressed, then okay, depressed, okay, depressed. This is tiring. Just now I looked around and noticed that I cleaned my house so that's cool. I thought...

Life is funny and not funny. Boy ain't that the truth? I think I have borderline personality disorder along with obsessive compulsive personality disorder, I probably am bipolar 1, have PTS symptoms,...

Went to 2 AA meetings and I'll probably go to a 3rd this evening. Or perhaps I'll do the NA. Or I could go to an OA...I qualify for just about all of them! :)  Went to court to support someone and...