EBBIESGIRL
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- A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean; she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs...
- IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you...
- HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in...
- Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was...
- A crowded Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it...
- A lady asks a man a the bar "What are you drinking?" The man says "Magic Beer." "What's so magic about it?" she asks. He gets up and flies around the room. "I'll have what he's having." she tells the bartender. Then she climbs to the roof,...
- I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 66). We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to us. The teenager had spiked hair all different colors - green,...
- First man: I am 83 years old today, full of aches and pains. How do you feel?Second man: Like a Newborn baby.First man: Really? Like a newborn baby?Second Man: Yup! No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants.
- After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Eric. I'm on the...
- A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing...
- Hi folks I just need a hug. I have to put one of my 'kids' down today. She is very weak and not eating. She is 13 years old and came across our yard as a 2 month old kitten, leading and older blind cat. Mandy is one of the sweeter cats we have...
- The pastor was giving a hell fire and brimstone sermon on the sins of hate. He was riling up the congregation and they were whoopin and shoutin AMEN BROTHER. Towards the end of the sermon he really laid it on and then suddenly he stopped shouting...
- A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95,...
- Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I ease my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully get out of the car and open the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming...
- I have 4 children and have not heard from any of them.