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- An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: “Want coffee.”The waiter says, “Sure, Chief. Coming right up.”He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. The Indian drinks the...
- A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them."Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister...
- A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?""NO!"...
- AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE...
- A elderly man suffering from toothache finally went to the dentist to have his tooth extracted.The dentist insisted on giving the man a shot of anaesthetic, but when she pulled out a large syringe the man freaked out“No way, no needles! I hate...
- After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl...
- Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very...
- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWNAGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN 'T LOOK THAT OLD.WELL . . . YOU 'LL LOVE THIS ONE.MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.I NOTICED...
- President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning Ma'am, could you please cash this check for me?"Cashier:"It would be my pleasure sir....
- Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE!”The next morning...
- Because it's Friday..."Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?""Yes, Father, it is.""And who was the girl you were with?""I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin...
- A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of...
- THE MAYONNAISE JARWhen things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.When...
- An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood, thinks...
- Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very...