BeccaSweet
Status: Still breathing
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- My back story is not important. I was over at a friend's place, just hanging out. She was going through her dvr and wanted to watch the 1st season of a tv show. I'm all, cool, looks pretty, nice countryside, might be a fun series. I held it...
- For a few weeks now, I've been doing good. Not really doing the porn and avoiding random, for fun hook ups. Been walking in the mornings, to get some sort of exercise in. Stopped in for a smoothie when a guy I've seen a bunch of times says hi...
- but I had another seizure, and got depressed after. Not that unusual. Did my stupid acting out, hooked up with some rando in the park. Did whateverz, came to my room, and cut. Normally, it helps. today it didn't. Days like this are the...
- I have seizures, usually absence seizures and they always seem to hit at the worst possible moments. To make a long and boring story short, I'm chatting with a guy, kinda cute, seemed to be going well when he asked me something, no clue what when I...
- 2 days here and I found my purpose, my calling. Happened across a large empty field full of big rigs just parked. Curiosity took over, why so many trucks out here. Few RV's too. I turned so many tricks, had so much fun. Just so many lonely men...
- I thought I lost or someone stole my tablet. Was major pissed, getting myself all worked up when I had a seizure. After, bouncing between crying/depressed and super pissed, I started throwing and breaking stuff. Threw away my charger and a few...
- How much is my brain injury and how much is sex addiction or a compulsion and how much is just me being horny, I just can't tell. I stumbled into a new area to get with rando's and then move on. I found an adult bookstore with those small video...
- I've accepted what I am, we all have our roles and purpose in life and well, someone has to do it I guess. I started in this life out of necessity, but since my TBI, well, it made these things a bit more tolerable, sometimes even fun. I just hate...
- I took a job doing sales and it is ok. Just, part of the expectation is if the guy wants sex, then I do whatever it takes to make the sale. Sad part is I'm ok with it. l don't mind if it is just one guy or multiple guys as long as I make the sale....
- I work sales for a small place that provides product for medical marijuana dispensaries. I go to some of the different places and see if they will try our product. A few times, a little extra attention from me gets me the sale. It is a win -...
- When I'm in the middle of doing things, sometimes it is lots of fun, I'm not thinking, I'm just there. But later, when I put things in my diary, I'm sitting there, thinking about it and I am ashamed, disgusted like wtf was I thinking, why did I do...
- Just wondering
- I don't want to trigger anyone. I had a job with a girl, gonna be fun, take the edge off. The guys saw my pic, knew what I looked like and it was all good. We get there, hang for a little while, chat. The usual. A bit later, some other guy comes...
- Had to stop using cuz it sometimes triggered seizures..so wasnt hard to stop. Yesterday, I got picked up to be the entertainment for a couple of guys wanting to party. Been there, done that before, no big deal. I explained that I dont use but...
- The last couple of days were rough. My mom has that affect on me...makes me hate myself and everything else. I felt ok when I got up, went out, had to work..bills to pay. Met a couple of tweakers so we went to their place. Stayed a few...