hopingtobecomeabutterfly

Sometime a while ago like thisI reached out my armsfelt the sun like a charmaround my neck and withthe wind in my hair and the clouds at my feetI met a bird who sang and told me how to greetstrangers...

I feel lonely again today. It's a strange kind of lonely. I have a husband. He isn't here right now. I have people that want to be friends with me but I don't want them near me right now. I have a...

Round and round the rabbit hole.Where I stop nobody knows.If I ever get fixedwill I still have a soul?The nothingness is getting closer again. There isn't much wrong with life, but is there much...

Can you look in the mirror,look into my eyes and honestly tell meI am fixable?It's me, it's us, it's everythingand nothingin betweenIt's lonely, it's differentI don't want her aroundWhat if she...

It is difficult to run a business with a personal PTSD handicap. It is even more difficult to do when I forget that I am handicapped, throw all caution to the wind & just go for it - just to wake up...

I hate this confusion,like I'm in a storm,but the storm isinside of me.He caredDoes he stillOr does he not know or want to knowmy name anymore?I'm sitting on the coach,laptop in tow,but I'm being...

I've never loved a man as much as I love himFrom the top of his flame filled hairto the bottom of his caramel glazed skin.Just when I think its overI die inside myself againand each time that I die...

Send me a postcardand sign it with your namethen send it to my heartYou'll never be quite the same.I'll love you to ashesthen I'll burn down your houseI'll give my life to put a smile on your...

Ode to sleeping pills...I was the first to condemn the use of western medicine in treating whatever was/is 'wrong' with my personality & being. I fought for years against doctor's prescriptions &...

I want to say I'm feeling hopeful. He said he won't go out to hang out & drink in pubs anymore. He said he'll spare me the nights of worrying - not knowing whether he'd come back alive or in what...

Spent the day working. Had to see my folks and the in-laws this weekend. I hate long weekends. They interfere with my schedule,  makes me see and spend time with people I don't want to do either...

Have I not cried enough? Have I not given up enoughTo deserve your love? Growing up all I wanted was a mom to have coffee with,  to have tea with,  to talk to,  to trust and laugh with. I'm not...

Dear Dad, do you know how much it hurts to not know where you are or what you're doing or why you left me? Do you know how it feels to look for someone you love,  not knowing which bar they are in...

Today,  I didn't work. Today,  I didn't cry. Today, we didn't fight. Today, I wasn't lonely. Right now I am grateful for today and I am hopeful that I'll be having more 'today's' soon.