5 June 2018 Living dread

Send me a postcard

and sign it with your name

then send it to my heart

You'll never be quite the same.

I'll love you to ashes

then I'll burn down your house

I'll give my life to put a smile on your face

then I'll rip it off myself

See, I overreact to everything

and I've long since gotten used to be let down

Sometimes I'll even let you go first

Just to avoid bein hurt

I'm the most unselfish selfish person that I know

and if you hate me

trust me

I hate me more

Everything that you do is just a test

I'm constantly watching you

There is no time to rest

until I prove forever

that you and me where never meant to be

together.

I'll wish once, I'll wish twice

I'll wish a hundred times

to change, to give, to live, to laugh

to have just one emotion,

just one feeling or friendship or relationship 

that lasts.

It won't, not if I don't change

and that seems impossible.

So I continue on my way through life

just grabbing onto what I can

the roots of life slip through my hands

like grain

Tears soak the ground on which I walk

Blossoms bloom bright red

Blood and tears, no twilight, no daylight, 

just always sunset

My heart beats wildly

then skips you twice

If you beg me I might come back

Be nice.

And when I ask you, Oh for F*ck's Sake,

If you love me.

Just SAY YES.

Or die inside the screams inside me

Inside the darkness of my brain,

because I'm the living dread,

cursed inside of myself

destined to wreak havoc

upon those I love the most.

And if I can die with a heart still capable of loving

If I can die with hands still capable of touching

That would be life's greatest miracle.